Just a little something that bothers me... (803 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.59 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rick Manfre <rickmanfre.at.comcast.net> (View user info) at 2003-04-11 13:31:15 EDT
I dont know about any of you but it really pisses me off when Im standing at a urinal taking a piss and a guy comes up and stands at the one thats RIGHT NEXT TO ME! I mean it dont bother me when theyre all full and its the only one available. But when you have the choice of about 4 other urinals most guys go for the one thats furthest from the other guy peeing in there... I mean its proper urinal courtesy. It looks gay if you go to stand right next to the other guy taking a leak...
I also hate it when people disturb me when Im in the stall at work. They always try for the first stall (which is the one Im usually in) and bang on the door a few times before they realize someones in there. As if they couldnt tell by the door being closed and locked. ALL the other doors are open. Why not try one of them? I know when someones in a stall cause if the doors closed and you can see feet from under the door then obviousely its taken. I really hate people that disturb me when Im on the Throne... It ruins my concentration and I sometimes drop the printouts of Ubersite... God I hate the bathroom at work...
User Reviews
Submitted by sky (user info) at 2003-04-17 14:49:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i like to make phone calls from the throne. seems like the right time for some reason. :)
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-04-17 14:30:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This +2 is for this post AND for streetpunk's response.
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-04-12 10:34:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I walked in to the head once and just by chance, a guy saddeled up to the urinal right next to me at the exact same time. Apparently our motions were the same as far as unzipping, whipping it out, etc. I went about my business, but the gut next to me says, "Fucking stage fright. Must be too much simultanious movement. I can't perform. Man, that sounds like a bad Seinfeld episode."
It's hard to hit your target when you're busting up laughing.
Submitted by Fuunsaiki (user info) at 2003-04-11 21:43:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate it when guys don't know the sacred peeing rules. And for god sakes don't talk to me while I'm taking a leak. And loren..if you can't hit to toliet and get some on the floor. Might wanna get some dypers :P.
Submitted by streetpunk (user info) at 2003-04-11 17:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yesterday, I was "dropping the kids off at the pool" and a man came in the bathroom and started doing some Bill Cosby impressions. I laughed my ass off.
Peace,
STREETPUNK
Submitted by yidele (user info) at 2003-04-11 17:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
For me, the quintessential potty humor boundary was defined by Mike Myers in "the spy who shagged me" - every time I see that scene I am convulsed with laughter. As to toilet etiquette, there was a moment I decided that basicaly, toilets are fair game. When I go to the toilet, all the denizens ( or victims ) know who the master is. I fart thunder & piss like a waterfall.
Submitted by MassD (user info) at 2003-04-11 16:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Men typically shun any conversation when in the shitter. Though, it doesn't stop them from talking. I was at a software conference a couple of years back ... went to the bathroom and some dude was in one of the stalls singing some Italian opera, Panus Angelicus if memory serves me right, at the top of his lungs, only pausing to drop a deuce.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-04-11 15:53:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Women definitely don't have as much of a problem about talking while in neighboring stalls. If two women are talking when they enter the bathroom they will probably continue to talk while they pee.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-04-11 15:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Scott, I love it. I could picture the whole scenario perfectly. Why don't you pretend it's a little game and blindfold her or maybe start up a game like - "Hey, Honey, wanna pretend you're Michael Jackson's daughter? OK, then here we go..." That's when you can cover her face with something. Just please make sure it's a breathable material, and to NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, think that this adds any level of safety to dangling her over a balcony. Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-11 15:25:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Usually the kid thing in the bathroom doesn't bother me, but once I was on a road trip and had to go so bad that I actually stopped at a gas station. There was a woman in there with a kid, maybe 5 or 6, kind of that border between too young to go to the men's room alone and too old to be in the women's room. Thing is, this kid was peeking through the crack in the door. I tried to shoo him off, but he kept coming back. I'm not going to pee in front of a kid, but things were going to get ugly and naturally the mom was taking her sweet ass time. I eventually said something to the mom and he yelled at him to go outside. God it was awful. Maybe I should leave work early today to try to get over it.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-04-11 15:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I also hate having to pick a wedgie in the elevator... I know theres cameras and one of the security guards watching me and laughing... Its just eerie... Had to throw my 2 cents in before I went to training and went home... Have a great weekend everyone!!!
Submitted by scott_ny (user info) at 2003-04-11 15:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Quartermain,
I hear ya, but think about how we feel? I can't leave my kid outside and the ladies sure as hell won't welcome me to there restroom. And trust me, the last thing I want my baby girl to see is a bunch of shlongs. And imagine trying to take a leak or other while trying to keep your kid from talking to 'the nice man' at the urinal.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree. Nothing anyone could have to say to me in a public restroom can't wait for five minutes while I finish my business and wash my hands. What really freaks me is out when fathers bring their 2-4 yr. old daughters into the Men's room. Whats up with that? I'm all for single parenting and shouldering your responsibilities, but thats just creepy.
Submitted by MassD (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:43:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are unwritten rules for urinal use... I don't have the URL handy... I will search.
But when this occurs, I tend to view it as a chance to mess with their minds. Very simple, the first step is crucial, and timing is everything... Wait until the man just starts to do his business, passing the point of no return. When he starts, begin to mutter some sick and twisted shit under your breath...
mutter mutter *too close* mutter *blood* mutter *shut up, leave me alone* mutter *I can't do that again* mutter *get caught this time*
It also helps to twitch a couple of times.
If you are convincing enough, the man will attempt to cut off, midstream and leave before the ol' bilge is cleared. IF YOU ARE REALLY good, the man will piss himself in his rush to leave so quickly. That wins the gold medal...
Though, you could do what an old buddy of mine did on a couple of occasions... he would just piss on the guy's shoes. Works quite well, but that is an entirely different story.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:31:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have peepee stage fright. I have a hard time relaxing when someone else is in the bathroom regardless of where. At the office, or really quiet places, that's the worst.
Up until about 6 months ago we inhabited a second level in my building, and that one had a single bathroom. No matter what, I walked the distance to use it. After I found out it was going to be off limits, I was horrified.
Sometimes I hold it in all day. I'm a very private Pee-er. If I have a few drinks in me? Niagara falls.
Face it boys. ALL men pee on the floor from time to time.
Loren
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My boyfriend won't change at the Y because apparently, naked men walk around in the Y talking to each other and he refuses to talk to a naked man. I don't think he's a homophobe considering that one of his best friends is gay and I don't necessarily think that the naked men are gay, he just thinks its weird.
Personally, over in the women's side of the locker room. I hate it when fat people who don't anyone to see their fat change in the bathroom stall when I need to use it. There is this whole locker room and only two stalls. It never fails, I go in there for the purpose it was intended and see fat clothes hanging over the door.
Submitted by precious_roy (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:28:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.musicinkent.co.uk/game/urinal.html
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
2 things I have to ad to popular bathrom sub-culture.
1. the mystery puddle directly below the edge of the urinal. are there those who just cant make the distance? Perhaps "follow-up jiggle" splatter? Maybe a water leak? who knows... all I know is I always make sure my pants are hiked up like highwaters and NEVER touch the soles of my shoes. Seriously though go sit down like a little girl if you can't make it in the urinal. and dont wipe, blot.
2. I actually had a guy talk to me while I was pissing. I am sorry but I am not interested in talking to you about politics or sports, nor hearing any "good jokes" while I am urinating. I dont know I just want to talk to a guy while ether I or them are touching our respective penises. Call me a homo-phobe if you must but that is just GAY to me.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah Im the same exact way... I always make sure people know Im in there by flipping pages as loud as possible or by coughing for no reason... It does sometimes disturb me to know who is in the stall next to me... Specially when they let one rip... Im still immature and find that stuff hilarious and so every time I look at them outside the restroom I just snicker and I know they know why but I cant help it... I hate people that try talking to me in the potty... Its like dude Im taking a piss so dont bother me... Its like a sacred rule. No talking unless your both washing hands... Thats when its alright to talk to someone in the bathroom. I just hate talking to someone thats holding their cocks... It always makes me think they get off on it...
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-04-11 14:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
People should use the electron principle in a public restroom and stay as far away from each other as possible.
I hate it when someone is in a stall being really quiet. I go in, do my bit, and then on my way out the door I realize that someone was in one of the other stalls that whole time not making a noise. What are they doing in there? (don't answer that it was meant to be rhetorical)
Submitted by scott_ny (user info) at 2003-04-11 13:54:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey lodnem, you sound like a classic bed wetter.... I feel sorry for you. I'm sure you suffer from pre-mature ejaculation as well.
Rick, I know what you mean. I remember being in a small bethroom washing my face in the sink. (just finished playing indoor soccer). There was a urinal and a stall. The urinal is right next to the sink (almost touching it) and for some reason this guy comes in and chooses the urinal. So, now I'm washing my face with this guy's dick inches away from my face. And sure enough, like dickhead lodnem he sparks up conversation and all I'm thinking is one hickup and this guy is slapping my face with his urine soaked dick.
Submitted by lodnem (user info) at 2003-04-11 13:42:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i hate taking a leak when the guy next to me just stands there with his dick in his hands but can't make a drop because he's nervous. i make sure to take a very long leak, wash my hands slowly, check my hair in the mirror, dry my hands a few times and offer up a little light hearted conversation.
Submitted by Titinita (user info) at 2003-04-11 13:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe he wanted to get warm. Or...HOT!! :)
Submitted by beer-turtle (user info) at 2003-04-11 13:35:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like you fell victim to a turd burgler. A person with so little tact they cannot even conceive that someone else might be sitting on the throne.
-Turtle