my subconscious knows the words to 'Shaft' (27411 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1.8 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by iddqd (View user info) at 2003-08-07 22:40:39 EDT
dreams.
theyre fucked up, and i wanna know who is responsible for subjecting us to this nightly occurence of david lynch on acid. i want answers. i want answers beacuse im tired. im tired of waking up with my remaining notions of sanity being trampled as the twisted freaks that inhabit my subconscious scamper back to whatever hole they crawled from, as the hazy fog lifts off my waking mind.
last night i had another dream. not one of those awesome "im flying through town on my styrofoam aircraft (yes i did have this dream)" dreams, but one of those baffling ones, where you not only try to figure out the meaning to the dream, but also try to figure out how your subconscious holds things from you. like the words to the theme song of 'Shaft', for instance.
in this dream i was running around as you do, doing random things. then i was on this balcony with a box of cereal and a bowl. i put some cereal in the bowl. this cereal werent no ordinary cereal, it was the most exotic cereal ive ever seen, this fucker almost looked like a rainforest in a bowl. anyway, i put cereal in the bowl, and then i added water. yes, water. then i threw the bowl off the balcony, where it landed on the arm of a couch below. not a drop spilt. i remember thinking "cool. ill go back for that later".
then i started to kick the shit of this guy. i dont know who he was, and i dont remember feeling anger toward him, i was just kicking the shit out him. but he wasnt going down, it was like a fight scene from "buffy". eventually i drove him back a bit, only to have his place taken over by kobe bryant. kobe fucking bryant. i dont have a problem with kobe (aside from the fact that tracy mcgrady shits all over him). but i kcicked the shit out of him nonetheless. so kobe rocks up, and another buffy fight scene takes place. etc.
all this is normal crazy dream stuff, right?
i get tired of the fighting, and jump off the balcony, head over to my bowl of "amazonios" and start to chow down. i do have to say at this point, that my fucked-up brain was on the right track when it made me put water in this cereal - it really worked. anyway, im eating this cereal, and i turn around and theres some kind of stage with a bunch of people sitting around it, watching some kind of talent contest. theres some woman on the stage doing something, she finishes, everyone claps politely.
then it happens. this old guy, not really old in years, but it looks like he lived life (you know what i mean), in a tux, picks up the mic and starts to sing. he starts to sing in this terrible, wavering, really thick aussie accented voice.
he starts to sing 'Shaft'.
if you asked me before now to sing 'Shaft', i couldnt help you. i know it goes something like: "whos the coolest cat of em all --- SHAFT"
but this old guy sung every line. i knew the lines were right as he was singing them, they just sounded right. the little fucker even ad-libbed a bit on it too.
this is what puzzles me the most. the rest of the dream is standard, patented Krazy Dreem kinda stuff.
i dont even recall hearing the song in its entireity once, so how the fuck does my subconscious know the entire words to the theme song of 'Shaft'? how? HOW?
what else is it holding out on me? the cure for world hunger? the secret to efficient renewable energy? the cure for cancer (i hope not)? eliza dushku's home number?
WHAT ELSE IS IN THERE?
User Reviews
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-06-10 21:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2004-04-05 05:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by cat at 2003-11-20 17:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
or it could be that you suffer from a form of sleep apnea or narcolepsy. i did research as well last year for a paper...and found that those two are the reasons for waking up paralyzed...
Submitted by supahnova (user info) at 2003-11-13 18:06:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i just want to reply to the message about waking up but not being able to move your body or scream. that used to happen to me all the time and it was really fucking scary so i didi some research. our body releases chemicals to paralyze our bodies when we sleep so we dont act out our dreams and hurt ourselves. when you wake up unable to move or scream you've woken up before the chemicals have had a chance to wear off. i also read that it happens more with intuitive people.
Submitted by mike <fatdaveuk2000.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-11-06 07:28:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
some fucked up shit there but has anyone ever dreamt that they are awake but cant move or they are actually awake but there body isnt yet working, it appens to me alot and its fuckin scary. you try and shout but nothin comes out i need help
Submitted by paul <cock.at.mouth.org> at 2003-11-01 15:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-10-07 05:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
10000 hits
!
to quote catscradle: "hooray for me"
Submitted by emperor_ghaz (user info) at 2003-10-06 21:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You wanna know some really fuck up dreaming material? Try convincing a dead person they're not dead.
YOU'RE DEAD! I SAW YOU DIE!
Yeah, whatever you say, man...
Submitted by couj (user info) at 2003-10-05 07:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
EXCELLENT WORK, ALTHOUGH I OFFER NO EXPLANATION TO YOUR QUESTION.
Submitted by Motvicker at 2003-10-04 22:10:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
chances are, you didn't know it, you just thought you did. Chances are, those words were wrong, your brain just made them up as you heard it, BUT it would make perfect sense IN THE DREAM.
i've had a similar dream involving shakespeare's sonnets.
Submitted by Ooglah <....at.....com> at 2003-09-29 18:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually, according to Freud, dreams are purely a wish fulfillment (no matter how fucked up). And they are always the latent content of the day before, or something linked to a happening during the day before. No inner conflict, no cleaing of our thoughts, our subconcious is merely giving us something that we are not likely to have in real life. (Which explains nearly all dreams of tang)
Submitted by missy <mhumphreys1.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-09-27 18:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have the most crazy dreams every single night as well. Usually really messed up nightmares where I wake up and cant tell if they are real or not. And the weird thing is that I can feel pain in my dreams. I remember one dream where a man was chasing me and he chopped me up with a Huge Knife ...then put my body parts on a flat bed truck and he was shoveling them off the truck as it drove along saying, "I bet she gets a rash from this." I just remember feeling the shovel scraping against my face. Plus it is always so vivid and colorful.
Submitted by flo at 2003-09-26 14:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Something weird that happened to me in a dream: Me and my buddies were on a road trip somewhere, and I was driving my car. We were at some place (don't remember what it was) and I walked out to the parking lot to go get my car. I walk out there and there is a fucking monster truck...parked OVER my car. It ran over the back half of it to get where it was at. I was thinking 'son of a bitch', as any normal person would, and I thought of checking the lisense plates to find out who the fuck did this. As I go back to check it, I notice the fucker is still in the truck. As I start yelling random pissed off shit to him, he pealed out. So as he was driving away, I checked his lisense plates. It was a tennessee lisense plate that read "2434 1444". I read it over and over again as he drove away, so as to remember it. Later on in the dream I got a hold of a pencil and a peice of paper, so I wrote it down so as to not have to activly remember it. I had a horrible time writing it down, I just couldn't do it. I would write down shit like 2343 1444...or 3242 4441, I just couldn't get it right. Then after I woke up... and thinking about how ass backwards that dream was... I remembered that it was 2434 1444. I still need to find out what the fuck that number means... and when I do somebody is gonna have some explaining to do.
Submitted by dot (user info) at 2003-09-20 22:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ScoutCJustice (user info) at 2003-09-14 22:50:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How can you not give this a +2? Kicking the shit out of Kobe, Amazonios, Old cool guy singing shaft... it's as close to perfect as you will ever find.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-09-14 19:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
someone FINALLY mentioned the 'amazonios'.
i was so fucking proud of that word.
+2 for that.
Submitted by Mista Murses at 2003-09-14 14:24:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, awesome, awesome. You are just awesome just for having insane dreams like that. "Amazonios"? Ha, man, that rocked my socks.
Submitted by Grape (user info) at 2003-09-06 00:00:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Love your writting style dude. Every morning I like to talk about what I dreamt cause it's always a f*cked up story. It's always always about sex. Trust me, it ain't always pretty. In my dreams I've had sex with everyone imaginable. Cousins, girlfriends, bosses, uncles, old men - usually old men. I had one in particular where I was in bed with Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas. The couple left the room and immediately I grew Michael's penis on to my body. I'll stop here.
Dreams are fun, but in my case they can leave me feeling disturbed for the rest of my day. It must be my catholic upbringing!
Submitted by dbcooper (user info) at 2003-09-03 15:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like hearing other people's dreams. Mine aren't always as messed up as it seems.
Submitted by fishgenie (user info) at 2003-08-31 02:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
everything that goes into your brain stays there, so you can remember anything using hypnosis. if you're hypnotised properly you can remember the words to shaft or any song you've ever heard the words too before, and what colour underwear you wore on the first day of school. it's properly the same with dreams, coz it's your subconsciousness doing all the work.
Submitted by meow mix <meowmix.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-08-29 09:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I didnt read the damn thing
But all i know is that i jus wanted to say whatup
Submitted by EndMyPain (user info) at 2003-08-28 21:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i had a dream i was stabbing my friend and that day i wondered what it would be like to kill someone with my knife. i also dreamed that this one guy kept cutting my hands off but i grew them back. and i once had theme music for my dream cause i left my radio on. it was the beautiful people. kinda weird.
Submitted by Borf <b0rf.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-08-27 21:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You don't know the words to shaft, neither does your sub-c. You just thought you heard it in your dream. It's a funny thing the mind. Funny in that no-one understands it yet
Submitted by shortgerbal (user info) at 2003-08-27 12:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i already read this, but really....
i am entertained
so much laughing
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2003-08-25 02:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This sounds like "Mulholland Drive".
Stop eating before bedtime.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-08-23 00:23:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by John Fakerson <fake.at.fake.fake> at 2003-08-20 21:47:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
your dream is stupid, i hate you and your stupid post. why is everyone so fascinated, why are people giving this a positive rating... this is bullshit, this sucks.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2003-08-19 01:57:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I mean, how weird is that? I don't even like marshmallows.
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2003-08-19 01:36:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had this really weird dream once, that I was eating this hughe, gooey marshmallow. I mean, this was the best marshmallow ever ... it was like, soft on the inside, but lightly toasted on the outside, it was just great, and I was just chowing down because it was the best thing ever. So here I am, trying to eat this entire enormous marshmallow, just hand over hand, stuffing it into my mouth.
So when I finally wake up, I feel something wet against my face. So I look down at my pillow ... and there were dead bodies all around me.
Submitted by Insanethemind (user info) at 2003-08-18 10:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-08-18 10:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
finally!
though, i can think of better posts of mine to put on boredatwork than this one bart...
(not that im complaining)
i rule!
Submitted by Sensei <senseiofmattitudev1.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-08-18 03:59:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 because of the Shaft theme song... he is a bad mother *shut yo mouth*
+1 because I worship Eliza Dushku
as always, nicely done.
Submitted by Moneypenny (user info) at 2003-08-11 10:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-08-11 10:36:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The same thing happens to me a lot. Here is my story:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105663298548759009
Submitted by LotterFodder (user info) at 2003-08-08 10:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I once watched an old school star trek episode for no reason at all (I'm not really into that.) After that I played Return to Castle Wolfenstien for quite a resonable amount of time. What I dreamt after that was the most kick ass dream I have ever had. Me and Captain Kirk fighting against Nazis. Kick ass.
Submitted by Rivers_Liebig (user info) at 2003-08-08 08:38:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for a great story. Dreams really can be screwed up. Ive had one since I was in grade 5 about this girl whove I always found attractive, and me, at a library, and she would always be a character from Mario. Sometime it was Luigi, sometimes Princess Toadstool, yet I always new it was her.
Go figure...
Props to whoever was talking about Chelios for the line *pokes brain with Qtip*
Submitted by Chad_Sexington (user info) at 2003-08-08 02:28:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dreams occur because of unresolved conflict in your conscious mind.
So in short, I don't know what the hell your dream meant.
Submitted by DAL <asdf.at.asdf.com> at 2003-08-08 02:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry dude, no world hunger cure. Your brain probably just told (tricked) itself into thinking that it heard the song correctly. "It just sounded right" and "Adlib" are indications of this. You probably heard the beat and words that if you missed a word or two, I guess you couldn't argue that they 'couldn't' go to gether. But you can't quite recognize the words as ideas they represent, because they're not really 'rea'. Just like how you can hypnotize someone and convince them they are good at playing the piano. They don't get better at the piano, but instead they just hit the keys in random ways more or less, and exclaim that they can't BELEIVE how good they can play all of a sudden.
Submitted by kinney69 (user info) at 2003-08-08 01:01:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remeber hearing some where that Freud thought dreams were just the brain cleaning house. I'm not sure if he really said something along those lines, but I think it's shit.
We put our brains (well some of us) through hell every day, especially those of you who do math on a regular basis. Dreams are your brains way of getting revenge.
Like me. My brain churns out homoerotic dreams about Chris Chelios. And me. In a hot tub.
Fuck you brain *pokes with Q-Tip*
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:57:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm working all weekend at the International Beauty Expo... fun. Next time, next time...
+2 for delusion being better than grandeur
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, hair, it looks like the weather will be pretty good. im looking out the window and the sky looks like it doesnt even know how to spell "cloud".
id offer to hook up for a drink, but im working all weekend, pretty much day and night.
maybe next time, though.
shoot us an e-mail...
+2 for sydeny being better than melbourne
Submitted by seansdementia (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:48:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that damn song has been everywhere. the place i heard it was on fresh prince years ago..maybe there, or hell even on beavhis and butthead a part of it was done..and on the simpsons..so you must have got it somewhere
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:43:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
those were the words he sung zoid.
plus he added a few ad-libbed lines, like a true performer.
man i wish i could remember what those lines were...
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
awesome.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who's the black private Dick thats a sex machine to allll the chicks?
SHAFT
Can you dig it?
Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?
Shaft
Right on
Who's the cat that won't cop out, when theres danger all abouttttt?
Shaft
The say that cat Shaft is a bad mutha...Shutcho mouth
But I'm just talkin bout Shaft
And we can dig it
He's a complicated man, and no one understands him but his womannnnn
John Shaft
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-08-07 23:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "scamper".
I'm going to Sydney this weekend, make sure the weather is great!
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2003-08-07 22:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i dont even recall hearing the song in its entireity once, so how the fuck does my subconscious know the entire words to the theme song of 'Shaft'? how? HOW?
-That's why they call it the subconcious.
Seriously, great stuff.