Thank you for being cynical - Or - Your all so fuckin predictable. (328 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.52 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JEF VANCE (View user info) at 2007-03-26 12:35:54 EDT
As the Ubersite annual meeting commenced , a silent hush fell over the room as the head uberfuck began to speak. Along the meeting room tables were the faces of all the uber regulars , ODIN was there with his smug sense of puncutation and grammar , BEANO was there providing us all with barely legile images from the depths of his near retarded brain. Even TIGERLILY took the ladle out of her snatch long enough to manage to put on a pair of pants ( I use that term loosely considering that even though it was covered I'm almost positive that i saw her cervix...)
The room stank of sweat and fear , this coupled with the fact that the air conditioning in the hotel meeting rooms was barely working made for an very uncomfortable experiance. Let us not forget that several uber users don't shower daily since the dungeons in which they live ( in thier moms basement ) doesn't provide addequate sunlight or ventilation ,therefore making the trek to the upstairs bathroom somewhat of a hinderance since W.O.W isn't portable.
Thankfully MEGACITO, A fairly new member to uber ( since he's only posted once ) decided to be helpful ( even though he knew beforehand that no thank you would be uttered by anyone ) by placing a pitcher filled to the top with crisp , clean refreshing water. He even went as far as to slice lemons and place them on individual platters for the unworhty fucks.
Little to his surprise, no one even seemed to notice all of his hard work , that was until the lack of ventilation took it's toll on the crowd. Sweat began to form on the temples of a few , while a few of the fatter folks were simmering in thier own lard juices by then.
Only then did eveyone fill thier cups to feel the sweet relief of something refreshing. Something cold , something to quench thier thirst. At first everything seemed normal , that was until LITTLE MONSTER started to shake his head... no not like we expected him to with asteriks driving home the fact , no my friends this was a shake that ripped his head clean from his shoulders sending small bits of skull and blood into the air and covering everybody within a four foot radious from his seat.
The nerve agent MEGACITO had used to end thier suffering was a new strand of the Ebola Virus that had no incubation time and could only be stopped by buring the infected victims alive.
The ensuing scene became that of a bad Rob Zombie film , The frantic cries of help me could be heard for miles around , But MEGACITO had taken careful planning to ensure that his plan was a success. While the intial bitching and moaning was going on , a few of MEGA'S partners in crime were outside the doors sealing them shut. That way nobody was leaving until what needed to be done had run it's course.
MEGA watched as the cries of pain , the looks of terror and then rapid decay of body tissues took place , he watched as friend turned to foe , he watched the last dying breath of all the miserable uber users , one , by one , by one until he was the last one standing among the dead. As he reveled in his glory , he had come to one sad realization...
He too was an uber user and for that he deserved the steepest penalty of all ....
Submitting his post to be torn apart by all you fucks....
User Reviews
Submitted by Bohme (user info) at 2007-04-11 12:22:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Who the fuck are you?
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-04-11 11:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you fucking die
you fucking die
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-03-28 17:55:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-03-26 09:50:46 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't know you could only post once a day ? whos' rule is this ? and lastly .. do i really care about your stupid fuckin internet geek rules ?
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It's too complicated for you to understand, fuck nuts - fortunately, these things work themselves out
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-03-27 11:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Some people are just beyond help.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-03-26 13:40:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was worse than the other one.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-03-26 13:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Up: It's where you can shut the fuck.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-03-26 13:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wtf was this crap???
legile????
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-03-26 13:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You sir, are a douche bag.
And you should post, before crushing your fellow-sibblings...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-26 13:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You've never had sex with anyone besides yourself in your life, Einstein.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-03-26 13:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
huh?
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:53:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
by the way i read a post a few seconds ago where many of you that -2'd my post gave a 1 or a 2 to someone who posts pics of an easy bake meth oven ? come the fuk on , i mean seriously , like your ratings affect me .. i'm the guy who had sex with your girl friends when she said she was going out with the girls... don't believe me .. smell my cock. hahahah internet dorks have never made me laugh so hard.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:50:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i didn't know you could only post once a day ? whos' rule is this ? and lastly .. do i really care about your stupid fuckin internet geek rules ? Naw I don't think so.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:48:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a cunt, not the best.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:47:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i am the best .. i mean seriously , c'mon you can admit it .. reading this gave you a woody / made you wet .. didn't it ... i know i'm the man.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It's been done before.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Go back to myspace where people might give a shit what you say. Probably not but maybe.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
one per day
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:41:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Jef = Bret?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:40:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're..........not your.
You fucking idiot.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You sir, are a douche bag.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:39:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Suck can refer to:
The act of sucking, the creation of a partial vacuum, or region of low pressure
"Suck", a song by Nine Inch Nails from the 1992 album Broken
Suck.com, a satire and editorial web site
"The Suck" is a slang term for the United States Marine Corps
Oral sex, particularly fellatio
River Suck, a river in Ireland
A slang term that refers to something unpleasant or deficient, as in the expression "That sucks."
This Post
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Apparently, you're hoping that your Ubersite "career" last about 24 hours, you fucking retard.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One per day you alter cunt.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who are these people
Submitted by Tracer0351 (user info) at 2007-03-26 12:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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