A Letter (1435 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.15 on 62 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2007-03-28 18:19:39 EDT
Dear Joel,
I was racing home from school today because I felt an uncontrollable urge to get here as soon as possible and tell you that I love you. I was going to say it as honestly as I ever do, but treat it differently, as if the declaration was not a simple statement, but the announcement of a discovery, as if the romance between us invented the concept altogether, previously unrealized, or had at least perfected it. I wanted to tell it to you with all the emotion and gravity as if that discovery was to bring about the end of all human sadness.
It's not going to end all human sadness, but if it's worked for the two of us, we're not off to a horrible start.
I wanted to tell you of my plans for us to grow up, get married, go bowling, live a suitably long time, and then die at the same exact moment.
I really wanted to say you made all the most beautiful love songs seem so insincere because none of them are about you. That the most intelligible sigh of pleasure when we're together is more beautiful than all the works of Shakespeare. I wanted to say that I'm going to become a poet, only so I can write poems about you, so that a hundred years from now students in English classes would have to know the fever of my love for you if they wanted to get through eleventh grade.
I was going to tell you how you make life worth living and death worth fearing, and the time not spent worrying about either perfectly serene.
I felt like telling you that you're the reason for my happiness, the source of my sadness, the root of my desires, and the theme through all my emotions. When I'm sad, I'm happy to know that I have you. When I'm happy, I'm sad that you're not there to share if with me. When you're there to share something, anything, with me, I'm euphoric. Any tribulation with you by me is a joy, and any celebration without you is torture.
I needed to say that I'd sacrifice anything for you. First of which myself, last of which my self, and among those extremes, all things in between.
They were just a few things I thought needed to be said.
Love,
Spencer
User Reviews
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2007-05-06 10:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-03-28 22:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I wanted to say that I'm going to become a poet..."
Oh hell I'm gonna have to use that.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-01 05:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh NOSE The GHEY has turned me GHEY :(
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-01 03:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not going to read this in case it turns me gay.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-04-01 02:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-29 15:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you mind terribly if I sorta, ya know, plagarised this and gave it to someone?
---
Not really. My gift to you.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-03-29 11:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Spencer and Joel
sitting in a tree.
g-a-y...i-n-g
First comes love,
but no marraige...
...because the government hates you.
--
But come to old Blighty and you will be allowed to marry!! We also won't charge you for medical stuff.
I hear they have a special place for you to live too. Brighton or something?????
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-03-29 11:18:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ATTN GHEY MENZ!!11
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-29 10:46:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Spencer and Joel
sitting in a tree.
g-a-y...i-n-g
First comes love,
but no marraige...
...because the government hates you.
=======================================
This made me poop my pants.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-03-29 09:20:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GHEYEST
POST
EVER
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-03-29 09:05:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*blinks*
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:47:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:30:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Would you mind terribly if I sorta, ya know, plagarised this and gave it to someone?
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just noticed I have my shirt on backwards.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2007-03-29 08:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Spencer and Joel
sitting in a tree.
g-a-y...i-n-g
First comes love,
but no marraige...
...because the government hates you.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-03-29 07:49:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
GHEY!
Spencer and Joel? Fags.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-03-29 05:38:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe, the girls are apparently liking this more than the guys.
~~~
not me!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-03-29 05:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I felt like telling you that you're the reason for my happiness, the source of my sadness, the root of my desires, and the theme through all my emotions.
~~~
Nice sentiment but yikes.... I'd be terrified if anyone was THIS into me. The Bloke and I have a perfect relationship becausae we're realistic. And friends.
And I don't think he'd want - nor would I - to be up so high on a pedistal (sp?).
Scary as hell.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-03-29 02:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice sentiment. Kinda disturbing though.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2007-03-28 22:25:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I wanted to say that I'm going to become a poet, only so I can write poems about you, so that a hundred years from now students in English classes would have to know the fever of my love for you if they wanted to get through eleventh grade."
Oh hell I'm gonna have to use that.
Submitted by GMCrayon (user info) at 2007-03-28 22:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH NOES YER BURRRNING IN HEELLLLL
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:39:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hmmm
favorite movie?
Gotta go with the 'Lord of the Rings' - they were filmed at the same time, same flippin' movie.
Closely followed by:
Empire Strikes Back
Gross Pointe Blank
Finding Neverland
The Commitments
Fight Club
Swingers
The Iron Giant
Picking one is tough.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm eating Cheetos, too. Fucking love Cheetos.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:29:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rob, what's your favorite movie?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:29:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Rob, didn't see you there.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:29:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And Rob only made me laugh because I know he's not serious. I'm working on a shitty shit-post. Wow. Zebra, what's your favorite movie?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
...sweet!
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:23:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant it was a sweet letter. Rob just made me laugh. That's for the record.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I was actually just throwing that out for the entire uber male population, which seems to me to be mostly virginal and inconsiderate.
It's funny that for all the childish macho theatrics, a teenage homosexual probably gets laid more than 99% of the boys here.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 21:02:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I know all about the benefits of citrus fruits. I really don't have the desire to swallow cum, though. Honest.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-28 20:58:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sacrilicious is correct.
Most of the sweet fruits are like a man-douche.
Always keep one of those little metal tins of peaches in the glove box with the condoms.
I also like to substitute rocky road ice cream or Bailey's or both.
It's like a mudslide in her mouth.
Or in his mouth, for you I guess.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-03-28 20:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, but I still stand by my statement "love sucks balls"...........hang on.....in your case it does.
ha
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-03-28 20:19:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If this was Shakespeare than Joel would be cheating on you right now.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-03-28 20:17:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BLAAARFF!
------
Heh. Sweet, indeed.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Neither of us really have the desire to cum in someone else's mouth.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Never, Caul. Neither of us can stand the taste of cum.
===
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Eat more pineapple.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:35:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so what do you do when you wanna cum into someone's mouth?
use a Ziploc filled with hot water to simulate or hire someone?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Never, Caul. Neither of us can stand the taste of cum.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:24:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:23:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We switch around.
===
you guys felch?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BLAAARFF!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We switch around.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:01:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gay. Who would name a dog Joel?
-------------
I dunno...probably a gay guy.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-28 19:01:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
who is the bottom...you or Joel?
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:54:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sweet.
But I don't see how romance is like bowling unless you mean it happens in an alley next to the gutter.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gay. Who would name a dog Joel?
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:47:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wait...you're gay?
Or is this for your dog and you pang his pooper?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:46:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe, the girls are apparently liking this more than the guys.
SURPRISING RESULT
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Public declarations should be strictly private, dumbass.
===
roflskates..i mean copter!
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:43:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is sweet, and I'm glad you're happy with someone worth being happy with :)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, young love. Sigh.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cute. I write my boyfriend love letters sometimes. It'd be nice to get one back though...
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
These things aren't always terribly interesting. Romance is like bowling, it's only interesting if you're personally involved.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 because this took balls to post here.
-1 becuase I didn't find it terribly interesting.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Public declarations should be strictly private, dumbass.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:29:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well i can't speak for the others, but i always rate things for what they are, not to some imaginary standard.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:29:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Joel's my boyfriend. This is one of those public declarations of love you're always hearing about.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:28:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
who's Joel?
This letter should've started off with: "To whom it doesn't concern"
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh dear, it got good ratings too.
Well consider me fooled!
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haaaah. I figure this is going to get nothing but bad ratings. It's not exactly Ubersite material.
Luckily I didn't post this for the ratings.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by PioneerBill (user info) at 2007-03-28 18:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment