Tripping through my nights... (393 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.57 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by garudave <misterkick.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-04-04 07:13:33 EDT
It was warm, but breezy. The morning weather reminded me of days when I would go fishing with my dad... waking up at three a.m. to drive two hours away to "Crooked Lake". Ah, nostalgia. The sun was lurking on the horizon, but it was still darkish. The perfect time for a murder.
This morning, I had chosen to smoke. God knows why, the cigarette tasted like unchrist and I was coughing like a COPD patient. A faceless man, the driver for this one, walked out of the gas station whose parking lot we were currently occupying, and nodded to me. We jumped in the junker after I put out my cigarette.
Dread and a cold sweat, adrenaline and a twitchy feeling in my right index finger, these feelings were somehow familiar. With a shaky hand, I reached into the glove compartment and grasped an icy piece of death.
We arrived earlier than expected... a good thing. I jumped out of the car and slid across the hood for style points. So much evidence against me, so many possible witnesses, and I had my gun out, ready to "bus' a cap". I knocked on the door with the piece, hard.
The door opened. The man inside was already dead... a question mark appeared over my head. "Grampa?" I asked.
He grumbled, and then shouted, "Jee-zus Christ... what are you gonna shoot somebody with that?" and ripped the water gun out of my hand. I was eight years old again.
User Reviews
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-04-05 05:29:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nice idea but a bit of a premature climax.
Bet you're used to that.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-04 16:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
coulda used more
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-04-04 13:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-04 08:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Let.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-04 07:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Kinda Meh.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-04-04 07:28:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Weird. My grumble was that it went from Ice pick of death to a gun.
Not as good as the Vergil stuff my good chap; but still interesting, probably would have been better if it was longer. But who am I to comment?
Submitted by needsnothing (user info) at 2007-04-04 07:17:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A bit short, and strange.