Somnus (451 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.18 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Yahweh (View user info) at 2007-04-04 21:28:43 EDT
The ringing of the telephone woke him from his slumber. He stared intently at the alarm clock's red glow, but it took a moment for it to register. Whoever is calling him at four in the morning had better have a damned good reason.
"Hello" he whispers, hoping his wife is still asleep.
"Director, sorry to wake you. We have a situation here that we must inform you of immediately!"
The voice was quaking slightly, panic setting in. Whatever is happening must be big. Bigger, of course, than he wants to deal with.
"Calm down son, take a breath and make sure you tell me everything."
He is sitting up now, his lamp on. He furiously scribbles down notes while confirming the information given to him again and again. His wife is awake now, but that is the least of his worries. After a few minutes he hangs up the phone and hastily grabs his clothes.
"What's going on, Bill? Where are you going?" his wife asks.
"There was a problem at the Camp, hon. I have to get down there right now. I'll call you when I'm on my way home later."
With that, he pecks her on the cheek and rushes down the stairs. What he was told cannot be true. Every precaution was taken to ensure something like...this...would never happen. After getting his shoes on and grabbing a soda from the fridge, he is in his car speeding towards Montauk, Long Island.
---
Jacob threw up.
Again.
For the third time.
It's been ten minutes since the hole opened but he is still nauseous. This being his first, and probably last, excursion outside of the Camp, the entire area was unfamiliar. All he had to go on were memories he wasn't sure about and the two words that are tattooed on his forearm.
DOMUS CRESSON.
They will be looking for him, he knows that for a fact. You just don't leave the Camp anytime you feel like it. Not the people in his group anyways. He has to try to get away, though.
That chair.
He can't stand the thought of that damned chair. He spent so many hours in it, terrified. They just watched and waited. Hoping something would happen. He knew others went to that chair, too. Sometimes they wouldn't come back to their dormitory. They were never given an explanation, either.
So many people. Always with that chair.
Jacob's head was reeling again, the world spinning around him. He needs to get away from this point, they will find him.
Jacob threw up.
Again.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-06 15:36:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hugafriend (user info) at 2007-04-06 10:49:13 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by hugafriend (user info) at 2007-04-06 13:49:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Yahweh (user info) at 2007-04-06 12:51:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And you are done on this post, sissies.
Submitted by locksly (user info) at 2007-04-05 22:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Based on your stance on shineboxxxxx alone.
Submitted by 8track (user info) at 2007-04-05 22:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DUDE!
You
FUCKING
SUCK
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-05 11:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Wilkommen zu Uber, Herr Alpha..
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-04-05 10:54:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Based on your stance on shineboxxxxx alone.
Submitted by Yahweh (user info) at 2007-04-05 10:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, keep going you retard.
Can't hurt a rating but once.
Submitted by shinebox (user info) at 2007-04-05 10:34:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
SHINEFUCKINGBOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Submitted by shinebox (user info) at 2007-04-05 08:40:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2007-04-05 03:32:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Paying writers by the word promotes too much description
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-04-05 02:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck does domus cresson mean?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-04 23:19:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I get to go to heaven now, cause I +2d god...erm yaweh....or jehovah....whatever. 1st post +2
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2007-04-04 23:11:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-04 22:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not trying to be a dick here, but this is not well written. The tense keeps changing, it doesn't make any sense, there are numerous gramatical errors, and it's nearly impossible to follow... I don't even know what you're trying to say.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2007-04-04 22:54:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And...?! Fix up the language a bit and finish the damn story.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-04 22:44:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Apparently, God sucks as a writer.
Dear God,
Disregard ANYTHING Zebra says about your story. He knows not whereof he speaketh...
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-04-04 22:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There were some writing mistakes, but this was more interesting than most drivel posted here.
To others, if it is open-ended, maybe it is just the first installment in a series...
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-04 22:10:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First post = auto+2
But this was really not very good.
Re-read your first paragraph and simplify your sentences.
Don't be descriptive just for the sake of description.
There was really not enough of a story here to critique, honestly.
This would probably be a -1 for at least an attempt at a narrative.
But come on, God.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-04 22:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not trying to be a dick here, but this is not well written. The tense keeps changing, it doesn't make any sense, there are numerous gramatical errors, and it's nearly impossible to follow... I don't even know what you're trying to say.
Have a zero. You're going to need it.