Oh the dead baby jokes... (2277 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.6 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <hpark_28.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-12 01:57:08 EDT
You know ever since my sophmore year of college I have been hooked on baby jokes, yes I know I was a late introduction to the seductively horrific world of post-mortem baby humor. Ever since my roommate my sophmore year told me my first dead baby joke I was hooked.
Now you are wondering which joke was it that did it? Was it the toaster one? The phone booth? I know the bowling balls or the pile of dead babies. If you said that I would say, "No, bitch you're wrong!" Yes the baby jokes have corrupted me slightly. My first baby joke was, "Why do you put a baby in a blender head first?... So you can watch it's feet curl up!"
Of course my first reaction was horror mixed in with an incredible need to laugh out loud at the same time. Now I blame this all on my old roommate Patrick, not because he told me my first dead baby joke, he did but that's not the reason, but because he is a drunk irishman but the ladies still love him, go figure.
Now I find myself telling dead baby jokes at parties or social events whenever I've had a little too much drinky, say four shots of tequilla and an untold number of beers. At the end of the night I wound up with a cowboy hat and a pair of flip flops. I had also managed to lose my shirt and my left sock, but that is another story.
Some people find it horribly disgusting when I tell my dead baby jokes and others stand and join in. What is it that makes some people revolted at the sound of a dead baby joke? Have they been killing their own babies and the tale makes them relive their horrible deeds? I just couldn't figure it out. I can tell people baby jokes all day but some people can only handle the simple low key blender joke, while others keep pumping me for more until I'm fresh out.
So I guess what I'm really wondering is how many of you out there in Uber land love the dead baby jokes and how many of you don't? I also have a affinity for talking muffin jokes.
Two muffins are sitting in a oven and one muffin turns to the other and says, "Man it's hot in here." The other muffin turns and says, "Fucking shit a talking muffin!"
Oh for those of you looking for a good baby joke this one always gets a few laughs, or pepper spray in my crotch.
What's red sits in front of a mirrow and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.
What's white and red and screams a lot? The same baby in a bag of salt.
I guess that means I'm going to hell huh?
User Reviews
Submitted by grandturismo (user info) at 2005-03-15 07:56:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2004-10-05 12:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
for the last few lines...
Submitted by KoolMang (user info) at 2004-07-21 23:37:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Your first post! What a masterpiece!
By the way, since you have done me the justice of -2ing each of my posts pretty much, I should return the favour!
Submitted by Chad_Sexington (user info) at 2003-08-16 23:35:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I guess that means I'm going to hell huh?"
We're talking HIGHWAY to Hell.
I'm sure a few of us, myself included, will be there too.
Submitted by karma_chameleon (user info) at 2003-08-16 23:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
REAL baby back ribs. dripping with sauce.
Submitted by dolphgr13 (user info) at 2003-07-13 16:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
here's +2 cuz no one's given ya one yet
Submitted by ronnockeem (user info) at 2003-07-13 13:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-17 cause dead baby jokes are dumb as hell.
+5 because for some reason the last one was funny.
+10 because i need everything to add up to -2
Submitted by hcp28 (user info) at 2003-07-12 15:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One still alive at the bottom
What's worse than that? the baby trying to eat it's way out.
What's worse than that? The baby eating it's way out and popping out of the top.
What's worse than that? Going back for seconds.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-07-12 08:53:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
The ultimate dead-baby joke post:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1053704520711023997
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-07-12 08:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why should you stop fucking a 6 month old infant when you hear its pelvis snap?
If that doesnt get you off, nothing will
Whats black, bubbly, and taps on glass?
A baby in a microwave
How do you make a dead baby float?
2 scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-07-12 03:11:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1026906012127116137
really...
Submitted by swift (user info) at 2003-07-12 02:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
how do you get a dead baby out of your lap?
you take your dick out of its ass
what do you do with a 1000 dead babies that went through a snowblower?
you serve nacho chips with.
what's the difference between unloading bowling balls and a pile of dead babies from a truck?
you can't use a pitchfork