SUPA R#1: Three and Three (739 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: poetry
Rating: 1.61 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sacrilicious (View user info) at 2007-04-10 14:14:02 EDT
Blood and water, ties bound tight,
Terror spread through town,
Three now gone.
Murdered children, watered graves,
Are there three to blame?
Is it true?
Justice must be served, you see,
At whatever cost.
Haul them in!
Damien, of boots and black,
Were those demons yours?
Will you tell?
Bodies drawn from creek and clay,
Bloated and abused,
Broken bone.
Jessie, you were sad and slow,
Did you hear their screams?
Were you there?
Rubes in rank destroyed the scene,
Evidence was lost,
Proof no more.
Jason, you were last of all,
Did you make them die?
Did you kill?
Then, confession was coerced,
Baseball bat in view,
One man down.
Tall tales told for cash rewards,
Statements leaked to press,
Tainted trials.
Now all three, locked a cage,
All of thirteen years,
Fighting still.
Jason, Jessie, Damien,
The West Memphis Three-
Was it you?
Michael, Steven, Christopher,
May the truth be known-
Rest in peace.
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-15 23:00:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HAHA his ratings are gone again.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-15 23:00:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rating: 1.43 on 37 reviews
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-15 14:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100731#2381008
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:54:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
By the way- I really wasn't very proud of this piece at all. I'm happy some of you enjoyed some elements of it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:52:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
F- I missed that typo, Coleslaw. "IN" a cage. I wrote it as one because I thought the 'ES' in 'cages' would be an oddly stressed syllable. Good eye, man. Thanks for reading and attempting to understand what's going on here.in.my.head.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-11 23:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm bumping this up to +2, based on YOUR explanation of why you wrote it this way.
Which is uncharacteristic of how I usually rate these, so you got that going for you.
Good stuff.
Minor change I made in my head while reading: "Now all three, locked a cage," => locked in cages.
It still maintained the syllable count that way. Your wording threw me a bit. But no big deal, I dug it.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-04-11 18:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-04-11 18:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And the moral of the story is: if you live in a hick town in a hick state, you have to expect hick cops and juries and devious child molesting and murdering step-parents.
The poetry didn't really do it for me, but it's worth a 1.5 for reminding me to listen to "Night of the Living Rednecks".
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-11 18:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this chick trumps YOUR eyebrows - thanks for inspiring me!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100566
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 17:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Next time attach a picture with handprints on a bare ass, please.
Or a bear ass. Your call.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-11 17:44:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Understood, O. I know this isn't your style, and I can see your perspective. Thanks for the comments.
One reason I chose to use such a rhythm was because I liked the sound it made in my head, in relation to the story- like a knocking sound on a door, or a dead man walking sort of drum riff. And an epic sort of thing wouldn't have worked well, as this is the meat, and the many details of the case are often fascinating, but wouldn't necessarily have made for good lines.
Hookhand- There was no rhyme scheme, which I assume is what you were trying to say. I assume you're going to be disappointed in many of the future entries if you're of the mind that all poetry should rhyme, but it is a personal preference, so thanks for your honesty.
Are sico and I the only ones who have heard of the WM3?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-11 17:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm afraid I don't care much for this poem because I know nothing about the case. I had to follow the link(s) below to learn about it, and I think I might have had more of an appreciation for your words if I'd been able to center them in something real.
With no emotional connection, I was left with the economic language and staccato presentation. While I think the Viewmaster-ish (I make up words, sue me) presentation of the situation's details is an interesting one, especially if details are still up in the air, I didn't feel it did enough to pull me in and slap me around. Which is what I like in a poem. And a woman, come to think.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-04-11 17:26:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This was good, but I can't in good conscience give a poem with an
ABC
DEF
GHI
rhyme scheme any higher.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-11 12:38:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty much what zebra said.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-04-11 04:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lovely. I liked it a lot
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-11 04:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
love it!
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-11 03:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-11 02:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Works for me.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:54:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Never mind...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:37:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHERE ARE YOU CAMPAIGNING?
Who would I think is YOUR alter?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you feel better about lying, then knock yourself out.
Because you're full of shit.
it's EXACTLY what you were talking about.
We're not all as stupid as your 22 year old fuckpiece.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you sure spineless was the word you meant to use?
And I wasn't talking about the fairness of THIS contest, nor was I talking about YOU, you fucking spaz. Jesus Christ.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:06:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
There's never been anything "fair" about this contest.
I resent your spineless horseshit comment.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm plus 2-ing all of the SUPA's before I leave for the day.
Good luck to all contestants.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 17:03:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Zebra- Thanks. The details of the case are long and convoluted, so you're right. It could have been much longer, but that seemed to weigh it down with detail, so I trimmed it a little.
Sico- I do want to read the book, most of my knowledge came from online research, and until I wrote it, I hadn't checked for updates on the case in a while.
Gofer- I've been fascinated by this story- the tragedy, absolutely- but the details of the investigation and the convictions..I could go on, but suffice it to say that no matter who is guilty, it should be fucking terrifying to anyone who values their civil rights. I did revisit the story for the details, but the it's haunted me for years.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-10 16:50:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I dig that you did your research with this
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-10 16:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was similar to what ahumblefool did, and I liked his quite a lot.
I'm not sure exactly why my reaction to this is not as positive as to that entry.
His was a tragic incident involving a single family that happened in an instant and one person's pain, so maybe it was the immediacey of it that lent itself well to the sparse form he chose.
This seemed like a broader tale that just needed more.
But I do think it's better than worth reading.
I'll read it again after a break to see if I should come back and re-rate it.
Nice work, nonetheless.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-04-10 16:30:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-10 16:17:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sacriliciousness
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another cause of that dances fag.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:29:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
An account of the case-
http://www.wm3.org/splash.php
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:02:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dance.With.The.Devil. (user info) at 2007-04-10 11:49:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I.Am.A.Fag.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-10 15:00:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm not "feeling this".
Submitted by Dance.With.The.Devil. (user info) at 2007-04-10 14:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-10 14:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Devil's Knot.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-10 14:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To completely honest, I didn't like this that much. I read the book, The Devil's Something maybe or maybe it was just WM3, I can't remember. Either way, that intrigued me and so you get a +2 for that.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-10 14:22:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What a read! No really.
Now do us both a favor and +2 mine.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100431
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-10 14:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
lol fuck that, this poetry eats the curb
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-10 14:18:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Immensely worth the read, and well written.