The Metamorphosis of Narcissus (475 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.41 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lucinda Periac <lucindaperiac.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-04-10 18:36:12 EDT
It's not easy being immortal. Don't get me wrong, there are beneficial aspects to the job. The Land of The Gods is a vivid and varied landscape, most pleasing to the eye: but of course, we Gods are aesthetes by nature.
My palace is nestled at the foot of Mt. Aenos. I have a panoramic view that is so enormous it is overwhelming in moments of insignificance. From my kitchen the ragged slopes of the mountain climb into Zeus' thunderclouds (the storm brewing indicates he isn't happy today, but then when is he ever happy?). I lounge in my living quarters, my eyes rest on the swilling ocean, the tide ebbing on the dusty rocks of the shore, it's very calming, (Poseidon must be sleeping). I'm getting tired of watching, I decide to take a walk and meditate a little.
I do wish Zeus would cheer up, his thunder disturbs my meditative breathing. As I wander down the rocky tracks I hear someone call my name (Who is that praying? Ah! It's Narcissus, one of my pet mortals) He's a very attractive mortal, he seems to be pondering this very matter. It seems he would like to know why people refer to him as beautiful.
I pace the chequered square. The even movement of black and white in conjunction with one another is very soothing to me. I begin to meditate on Narcissus' request for aid, (I think I can help him). I assume my mortal form and journey to meet with him.
I decide to bring him back to The Land of The Gods, I can see he is struck by the magnificence of the landscape. I lead him past The Cliffs of Safety, which loom over our petite mortal frames. We pass a party of Gods who play statues in mortal form (we are, after all a fun loving bunch: it's healthy to have a steady balance of work and play in one's routine). Narcissus is restless to resolve his annoyance. When we arrive at the lagoon, he notices The Hand of The Immortal, which cups the delicate flower of mortal life (he is one of very few mortals to have visited us here). Zeus will be cross with me for not running this plan by him.
I suggest to Narcissus that he use the water to solve his problem. He looks perplexed, but he'll figure it out eventually. I reassume my immortal form and settle myself upon the red stained cliffs to watch him (mortals in The Land of The Gods must always be supervised by the God responsible for them). I see that the waters are stirring (Poseidon rouses). I watch as Narcissus puts together the clues I have provided for the puzzle, that is a satisfying feeling. He examines his reflection in the lake, enraptured by his own beauty and leans forward to examine himself more closely. The thunderclaps are getting louder. Oh dear, I do hope Zeus isn't cross with me.
User Reviews
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I liked the idea and the painting but the writing style was a little slow and pedantic.
Still...not a bad try.
+ 1 creativity
Submitted by kuroneko_sama (user info) at 2007-04-11 02:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
love the art
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-04-10 22:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Ok so heres the thing:
"It's not easy being immortal"--err, yeah it is. I mean you can go against the grain and say this if you want, but the rest of the story should illustrate whats difficult about it. Your story doesnt do this.
"It seems he would like to know why people refer to him as beautiful."--Narcissus didnt wonder why others thought he was beautiful, he didnt give a shit what they thought. All he was concerned with was looking at his beautiful reflection in the pond all day.
"I assume my mortal form"--Greek gods did not have 'mortal' and 'immortal' forms they simply were what they were. They could of course change their appearance as, for example, Athena changed herself to look like Mentor in order to help Telemachus.
"The Land of The Gods"--there is no 'Land of the Gods', there's just Gaia.
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-2 for butchering Greek mythology
+1 because I like the way you took that painting and just wrote a story about what it looked like to you. Its a good idea and I think you should try it again, but maybe leave the greek myth out?
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-04-10 20:51:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't love it, but weirdly interesting all the same. I got two A's on tests today. Have a +2 on account of my general decent mood.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-04-10 20:12:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Story was meh...but I just visited the huge Dali gallery in London so +1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I sure wouldn't trust mine, that's for sure.
Submitted by UberSavedMyLife (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yep Salvadore Dali by the same name
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:34:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hello, Dali.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is the painting Dali's? It looks very familiar.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, don't trust them.
ever.
Submitted by UberSavedMyLife (user info) at 2007-04-10 19:17:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can i trust ratings when they request retaliatory ratings??? (nonetheless, appreciated)
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:55:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100431
I agree. you need to look at more poetry. Might I suggest stopping by and positively rating mine. Like I just did yours.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not sure what the fuck this was about, but feel free to swing by my latest gem of a post and drop a +2.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My palace is nestled at the foot of Mt. Penos
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-04-10 18:47:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah.