The Secret to Life. example included! (580 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.63 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NoMeD (View user info) at 2007-04-11 14:15:23 EDT
Sitting here at my desk, doing my best to look busy. I hate that, having to look busy. I might as well work. Anyway, I think I just found out something. Sometimes moments in life lack something, a little bit of the "movie" magic. Why is this? Why can't I kiss some ho' with a steady camera spinning round and round? Well because, there is no music in real life. There is NO music! If we had music, badass things would happen. BULLSHIT some of you are saying, or something.
Example time.
Your having a bad day, yes. You wake up late, very late. Vaugely remembering that "one more time", and your ass is fired. MOB, to the shower, slipping in catshit/vomit/nasty substance.
Yadda yadda. Get in your car, have fun DRIVING through the mass of other fuckwads. Get to--
work your boss is pissed, cue the intercom.
NOMED TO MY OFFICE
ATTENTION
NOMED GET YOUR ASS IN HERE.
Cue badass theme music.
On the day I was born
Hello there Nomed, please have a seat. Its new leather, made from the flesh of a thosand babies.
WE, need to clarify what "on time" means. MMMMKKKKKKKK?
The nurses all gathered round'
You see,
and they gazed in wide wonder
you come in late ALL the time, and
at the joy they had found
I think we may need to,
the head nurse spoke up
let you go, and explore other,
all she said "leave this one alone"
opportunities.
she could tell right away
Well SIR I am sorry you feel that way. Really, I do. This can end only one way.
I was bad to the bone
MORTAL COMBAT
See? Life could be simpler if there was backround music.
ZZEEEE END.
User Reviews
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-04-12 02:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for challenging the boss to Mortal Combat.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-04-11 21:14:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry, that was unfair, I just really hate the song you picked with a passion.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-04-11 21:12:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was just people watching in Georgetown. I saw this one girl who I could not keep my eyes off of. I followed her down M street where she waited at the bus stop.
After watching her with binoculars for a solid 10 minutes, I worked up the courage to talk to her. Standing there, I nervously glanced over. She gave me a look. Was it a good look? It's hard to tell.
"So... You're waiting for the bus?"
She ignored me and walked away...
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME
I felt a sharp sinking feeling in my gut...
I'VE MADE MY MISTAKES
I couldn't believe what I'd done...
GOT NOWHERE TO RUN
The crosswalk light was still red...
THE NIGHT GOES ON AS I'M FADING AWAY
The light was still red...
I'M SICK OF THIS LIFE
I jump into traffic...
I JUST WANNA SCREAM
The pain of the M6 crushing my body is unbearable...
HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME
Then I remembered reading this post and the pain didn't seem so bad.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-11 20:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
The Boshman is the reason why I keep living. And tree bark. And the dream that one day the scientists will invent a strain of weed that doesnt smell when it burns and doesnt make you all tired. And my penis.
-------
Fuckin' love it.
Submitted by ampersand (user info) at 2007-04-11 19:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
The Boshman is the reason why I keep living. And tree bark. And the dream that one day the scientists will invent a strain of weed that doesnt smell when it burns and doesnt make you all tired. And my penis.
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-04-11 19:20:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Sorry, but this just didn't work for me.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-04-11 19:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh ya....or just find a job where they don't care when you get there as long as you are at the meetings and you put your 40 hours in each week....some Mondays I don't come to work until 10:30!!!
But some night I'm here to 7 because I want to work a bit more hours so I only have to come in for 2 or 3 hours on Friday before fucking off for the weekend.
Oh well, life is great.
Submitted by anass (user info) at 2007-04-11 18:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey at least yours was good...right?
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will show you meh. Meh what? Meh FIST. I WILL BEAT THE MEH OUT OF YOU INTERNET STYLE *THROWS A LEFT PUNCH* ha, dont mess with me.
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This was really meh. Could have been better if you took the idea and added a healthy dose of effort.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-04-11 16:05:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like,
unfortunately i think my soundtrack would be crappy country songs, not too sure why though...
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This was really meh. Could have been better if you took the idea and added a healthy dose of effort.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for George Thorogood
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Life WOULD be better with a soundtrack, although no doubt mine would end up being something crap like Africa by Toto
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:06:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Liberal use of the word meh can only end one way.
MORTAL COMBAT.
=========
FORWARD, FORWARD, UP, DOWN, X, X, Y.
I win.
----
Whateva, whateva I run with twelve gangs.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
WHO LET DA DOGS OUT
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-11 15:03:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Liberal use of the word meh can only end one way.
MORTAL COMBAT.
=========
FORWARD, FORWARD, UP, DOWN, X, X, Y.
I win.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Also see, "Pimp backround music", >>>>Lumberjack. JACKYL<<<<<
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:27:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy could sure use a retalitory +2, Chief.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:26:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
awesome.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My background music would be the venga boys.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Indeed SIR.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wasn't like every other kid, you know, who dreams about being an astronaut, I was always more interested in what bark was made out of on a tree. Richard Gere's a real hero of mine. Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that. I care desperately about what I do. Do I know what product I'm selling? No. Do I know what I'm doing today? No. But I'm here, and I'm gonna give it my best shot.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Liberal use of the word meh can only end one way.
MORTAL COMBAT.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-11 14:18:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meh incarnate