How Did This Happen.. (736 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -0.32 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by MEGACITO (View user info) at 2007-04-12 09:49:35 EDT
As soon as my alarm clock went off this morning I immediately knew that something was wrong. I can't explain it but something just didn't feel right. My girlfriend was in bed right beside me just like any other day, but still something just felt wrong or out of place. I rolled out of my side of our bed , scratched my balls and stumbled around in the dark trying not to wake my baby, she had just come off of working a double down at metro corrections and the last thing I wanted to do was wake the sleeping beast.
My eyes finally adjusted to their surrounding but not before I saw it. The note. It was hanging from the ceiling fan in our living room by a single strand of human hair. Her hair , the beautiful long golden blonde hair that she meticulously took care of , the hair that I absolutely adored. As I approached the note I also noticed that it was written with quickly scribbled words that were barely legible. Aside from me not being a morning person , I absolutely hate trying to read some dipshits excuse for correct cursive writing. I knew right off hand that it wasn't hanging there when I went to bed , and from the horrible chicken scratch , I knew that my baby hadn't written it, so where did it come from?
The only thing to do at this point was to wake my baby and ask her where it came from , which was ok by now because she has school ( she's 1 year away from getting her R.N. )and she was on the verge of over sleeping. So I crept into our dark room and proceeded to call her name ever so softly in case she was having a dream. I didn't want to startle her too bad. After several unsuccessful attempts to wake her I decided that she was playing " the morning game ". The morning game consists usually of me trying to wake her up , all the while she's really awake but waiting for me to touch her in a way that would wake her up in a good way. It's a game we play about three times a week before she goes off to school , and before I go to work , it's my favorite game.
Usually it's just some finger exploring until she smiles at me and we do what we do , but today I decided to go for the downtown breakfast buffet. Luckily my baby sleeps with only a tank top on. Today was no exception , so as I threw the covers back and proceeded to do some tongue aerobics she just laid there. No response at all , so I just thought that I was being too nice , so I picked up the pace a little and proceeded to give the most spectacular performance of my young life. Still nothing. I'm growing more horny by the minute , but at the same time I'm starting to worry a little but nothing seemed out of place , except for the fact that she was sleeping so deeply but this wasn't the first time I had gone through this with her so it wasn't really that big of a deal at that point.
I decided that enough was enough and that I would go back to trying to wake her verbally. Nothing was working so I turned on the small lamp on our dresser and saw the most horrible sight in my life. My girlfriend had been cut open from her neck to her belly button and sewn back together. I fell out of our bed in horror and tried to read the note, but it was so hard to see through the tears... so hard.
This is what the note said - " By now you have seen my work , I hope that you are pleased it really was difficult to subdue her , she fought hard until the very end , she even told me that you wouldn't be able to go on without her and that she loved you so much that she didn't want to leave this earth without being beside you one last time. I thought this was a risky thing to do , but I have followed her for months and I know her patterns and I also knew that you would be asleep when she finally made it home. I was right, you looked so peaceful when I was standing over you. Even as I lay her body in bed beside you , you never even moved. I wrapped her carefully in her favorite blanket , you know the one you leave folded up on her pillow for he until she comes to bed. I did exactly as she wished , and let me tell you she felt wonderful as I violated her again, and again. I honestly think that after the third time she started to enjoy it. She never cried , never screamed , but she did look me in the eyes right before I took her heart from her and I think there was a sort of happiness in her eyes.
I'm running long now and I need to get to the point. She told me that no matter what her heart would always be yours and that there was nothing that I could do to change that. She was right. Her heart is yours , and it's in your refrigerator right now. It will be yours for as long as you want it to be. Now you have two options at this point , to take her heart and run , or to stay there and wait for the detective that is on his way to your house due to an anonymous call from a concerned neighbor who says that they heard a horrible fight this morning around 7:30 and then heard what they thought to be .. a power saw. I have given you all the information you need to make your escape or stay and face what is sure to be a very difficult time for you. And please , give this letter to the officer to clear your name , but if you look very carefully you will find that this letter was written by your girlfriend , after all it is difficult to write left handed while bound and gagged with a complete stranger thrusting in and out of you while dictating your death letter word... for ... word."
Today was the worst day of my life , but I'm sure that the outcome of my trial will be much worse. The detective didn't understand why I went down on a dead girl, they didn't understand why I had body fluid from her dead body underneath my fingernails. They didn't understand why they found me holding her dead body in my arms, the didn't understand why I was holding her heart close to mine one last time. To tell you the truth ... neither did I....
User Reviews
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-04-12 19:10:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
it was okay.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-12 16:47:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 12:57:42 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm the kicker of all ass , this post was a great first attempt, i can't believe i got such a shitty rating.
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Okay, that's pretty funny, sport.
You should change your name to FERICITO, Mr. Davis.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 15:57:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm the kicker of all ass , this post was a great first attempt, i can't believe i got such a shitty rating.
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-04-12 14:23:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
*sigh*
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-04-12 14:06:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/96206#2378054 hahahahahahaha!
And as you seem to really enjoy this, the final : http://www.ubersite.com/m/99854 ...
Whoa, that felt great, thx! Now die, plz!
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 13:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
CAUGHT A CHEATER ? who and what ? i can't pull it up @ work ... ?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-12 13:46:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://americandrumslinger.blogspot.com/2007/04/ubersitecraigslist-and-all-points-in.html
I caught a cheater, NSFW linkage.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 13:35:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i don't get riled up , i was trying to get a reaction out of a super uber fag... but you'll do a fag is a fag in my book...
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-04-12 13:35:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah! let's get it on! My little brother called me to have some fun on your post!
By the way : http://www.ubersite.com/m/96206 , sincerely!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2007-04-12 12:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Seems that you get incredibly riled up over internet ratings, and I love a good show, so here you go, crybaby faggot
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 12:09:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
wow .. more internet threats from a 65 lb weakling with a keyboard and a mean streak a mile wide. hmm how to handle this .. let me think .. think dammnit think... oh yeah fuck off and die you scumbag .. seriously i don't even have the energy to try and make you understand the pile of shit you resemble. so suck my cock , swallow like a good lil boy and ask for seconds , just like your mom and your grandma did right before i told em to get the hell out of the hotel room , that they payed for. If your feelin froggy son just jump ... just jump , i love a good fight especially when it's not fair and i can invite friends to film it , if you wanted to make you tube for being stomped out by a young guy then all you had to do was ask. i'd be more than happy to stomp your excuse for teeth in anytime that you'd like.
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2007-04-12 12:09:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This has been done, a sort of combination between a scene in Chuck Palahniuk's Lullaby and something you would see in the Saw movies.
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:59:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
take that advice.. thats cute. i would bet my life that if you saw me in the street you wouldn't have the balls to say that to my face. Just a hunch dunno guess it's the tough guy through the comuter thing that makes me think your a huge pussy. Just a hunch.
Be happy, i don't live around...People who know me, know you don't fuck with me. I don't talk, i resolve things. No go back to your fool-approved life...You're old news.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
take that advice.. thats cute. i would bet my life that if you saw me in the street you wouldn't have the balls to say that to my face. Just a hunch dunno guess it's the tough guy through the comuter thing that makes me think your a huge pussy. Just a hunch.
As far as taking something .. try to take the cock outta your ass next time before you rate my posts....
thanks for the interest in lil ole me though ... it's nice to know you have nothing better to do than to continually return to my " shitty noob alter posts " to exert your internet manliness...
i'm proud of you, you've come along way from the sniveling douchebag that we all know you to be..
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:51:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:46:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100603#2376764
Take that advice, your bad news...
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2005-11-09 13:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You know you can delete your old posts that you don't want anymore right?
Just go to the My Uber tab. Then click the RSS button. Copy everything off of that page. Paste it into a text editory. Then delete what you don't want. Then post the new edited list on your next post. Hit Hook Me Up (aka submit) and everything will be updated in your profile. This saves you from making stupid posts. That's what that button is for if you didn't already know.
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Mate... you'll find these assholes are really bad at helping out a new guy.
I found this really useful infor not long after I first joined.
Keep you head up pal.
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:41:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
cold & clammy.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:31:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:24:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And this : http://www.ubersite.com/m/99496 , is called hitwhoring...
Click the link and +2 me, noob!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB! (hahaha!)
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:12:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this shit is hillarious , point taken. and as far as that pic goes i'll work on it ...
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
snag makes a good point
Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:03:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hyper , hyper!
Take it ez,man....This is Uber. No rules, everybody uses 25 accounts to fuck around (alters), and
all noobs&newbies are autoalters, untill proven otherwise...Also, getting fucked up about these minor details, is maybe the best amusement performed, here on Uber.
Somebody once said it right : Use Uber as you please, for she is a blind whore...
Now, welcome to Uber, shut the fuck up, and start entertaining us!
Xample of entertainment and usage of alters...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98744 , It took me 3 years to find a way, not to harvest -2's...
And do your homework, in the real world nobody's gonna tell ya how to survive, n'est-ce pas?
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-04-12 11:03:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you suck and deserve to die an agonizing death.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i am a dick ..but fair enough
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Post a picture of you holding up a sign that says "Sicosemen can cum on my hairline" and I'll defend you to the end. I'll even use my super cool, ultra user powers to make sure that everyone +2's you.
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't plus 2 yourself - it makes you look like a dick.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:O) you got me i'm an alter .. ( insert overly sweet yet extremely annoying voice ) you are sooo smart , you should be really proud of yourself , your a special boy aren't you .. yes you are.. !
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inbred fetus bastards...
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:49:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
convinced you're an alter
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:38:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
dudethatsbosh - thanks for the info. appreciate it ... and who is earl scruggs ? and who is brett ? and why does everybody think i'm somebody i'm not ? is there somebody on here that writes like i do ? and if so who ? i'm new and i don't see the same names everyday , one day it's schlongy and tiger lily , the next its sicosemen and hurtbythesun. .it's never the same group of people posting and rating??? i am fucking confused ... way to really fuck up a new guy, i posted a camwhore of myself .. remember the psuedo rock ? yeah thats me .. not some alter or whatever .. but thats the last time i defend myself you all can think what you want ..
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i won't be sucking anything anytime soon , but thanks for the image. You guys should be proud , new people to the site ask for SERIOUS help and try and gain knowledge from folks that have been here longer and all we get are juvenile curse words strewn together to make absurd little statements or links to obviously innacurrate info ( no i didn't try and pull it up i'm not a retard contrary to popular belief ) you all must be so proud. I'll fig this shit out on my own without your help.thanks for nothing. your parents must be proud..or if thier smart dead because they couldn't take the shame of raising such worhtless pieces of shit... you know who you are.
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Y'know, I'm pretty new here too and I haven't had much of an issue with people being juvenille.
I've actually been having a pretty good time.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:31:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 15:26:52 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
i won't be sucking anything anytime soon , but thanks for the image. You guys should be proud , new people to the site ask for SERIOUS help and try and gain knowledge from folks that have been here longer and all we get are juvenile curse words strewn together to make absurd little statements or links to obviously innacurrate info ( no i didn't try and pull it up i'm not a retard contrary to popular belief ) you all must be so proud. I'll fig this shit out on my own without your help.thanks for nothing. your parents must be proud..or if thier smart dead because they couldn't take the shame of raising such worhtless pieces of shit... you know who you are.
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Bret, stop getting all pissy you homo.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"I'll fig this shit out on my own without your help.thanks for nothing"
Theres nothing to figure.. read my reply
thats all there is to it.
oh and don't suck like me. also, kick earl scruggs in the neck for secret bonus points.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wonder who this is!!!!
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i won't be sucking anything anytime soon , but thanks for the image. You guys should be proud , new people to the site ask for SERIOUS help and try and gain knowledge from folks that have been here longer and all we get are juvenile curse words strewn together to make absurd little statements or links to obviously innacurrate info ( no i didn't try and pull it up i'm not a retard contrary to popular belief ) you all must be so proud. I'll fig this shit out on my own without your help.thanks for nothing. your parents must be proud..or if thier smart dead because they couldn't take the shame of raising such worhtless pieces of shit... you know who you are.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:26:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was not bad, but
Again, if you are alter,
I will be all sad.
haiku comments.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
once you post its here to stay, you can't go back and edit anything so make sure its ready before submitting.
posting twice or more in one day is frowned upon and no matter how good your second/third etc post in one day is, it will be -2'd.
I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt, but if you're an alter, go suck on cow farts through a garden hose.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:22:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
see you do something seriously and look what happens. i mean what's the differance between me posting absolute junk . and taking the time to try , i get the same reactions and the same -2 's ... wtf ?
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm going for .5
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't care if you're an alter or not, this wasn't that bad. But it was predictable.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:20:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh, uber FAQ: http://www.lemonparty.org/
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:16:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 15:13:43 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
and how do i add to a review ? instead of starting a new one , how do i add to the bottom of it ? and is there an uber faq anywhere ???
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Start > Shut Down > Yes.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seriously , i mean c'mon i have better things to do than create an account just to piss people off , no wait that is why i first joined , i thought you were all dorks and wanted to stir shit up a lil, but now i'm trying to take it seriously , i am mega , plain and simple , & i'm here to stay so get used to seeing better work from here on out. damn internet nerds.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
and how do i add to a review ? instead of starting a new one , how do i add to the bottom of it ? and is there an uber faq anywhere ???
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 15:12:31 BST (#)
Ranking: 0
what is an alter ???????? explain if your going to accuse ...
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I don't know why I'm bothering, but it's an alternate account used to piss people off.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is an alter ???????? explain if your going to accuse ...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 15:10:19 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
ok so what the hell is an alter ? i've only posted like 10 times and only once have i seriously put some thought into it. so what is this alter crap and why did i get -2'd when i finally tried to do something worht reading ? this is ridiculous but like i said i'm here to stay, no -2's are going to stop me especially when the person who gave it to me, gave me a +1 right b4 that ???? w t f ???? assholes
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Strenuous denial? Check. Blatant gaylording by posting loads of shite in a day? Check. Attempt to convince us otherwise with a decent piece of writing? Check.
You sir, are an alter.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:11:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this was worth reading
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:10:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok so what the hell is an alter ? i've only posted like 10 times and only once have i seriously put some thought into it. so what is this alter crap and why did i get -2'd when i finally tried to do something worht reading ? this is ridiculous but like i said i'm here to stay, no -2's are going to stop me especially when the person who gave it to me, gave me a +1 right b4 that ???? w t f ???? assholes
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,265502,00.html
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, fuck you. You're clearly an alter. Get fucked, cakeboy.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
+1 cadaver cunnilingus
-2 abrupt and predictable ending.
All in all, a SWING and a miss...
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 10:00:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
On the grounds that you're going to stop being such a witless dolt, have a +1.
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-12 09:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
see uber i'm trying , no more 3 posts a day , i'll stick to 1 a day and try my best to make it count. It took a while to get the hang of things here but i think i'm getting it.to clarify , i won't let any -2's stop me either.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-12 09:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you weren't such a fucking retard, this would have been a +2. Still, worth reading though.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-12 09:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-12 09:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-12 09:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store,
could I?
-- Homer Simpson
Life on the Fast Lane