My Run-In With Eavesdropping-or-NEVER EAVESDROP IN ON NERDS! (458 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1.7 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <dancechik990.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-04-12 20:00:28 EDT
so, here I am sitting in my college sitting area and then all these weirdos decide to sit down and talk about the most random, retarted shit ever.
im just minding my own business, unfortunatley for me i can fcuk around on the computer and multi-task listening to their conversation.
Guy #1: lets call him Lispy, because he can't pronounce s sounds. Also, within 5 minutes of him sitting down i found out that he plays nintendo with flying dinosaurs and fire monkeys and chocolate makes his face break-out, also his head looks like he got his pubic hair transplanted to his head. I think his jeans are tighter than mine, and he looks better in them. damn you Lispy. He won't stop talking about the Wii game and a spiderman game. He also has a nice little JanSport backback with fake silver "rocker" studs that have been hot glued on...SWEET...they must have been on sale at HOBBY LOBBY. Got a nice visual yet?
Guy #2: lets call him White-Trash Billy Bob. He is about 500 billion pounds overweight and kept staring at me through the little tree that seperated us. Oh yeah, White-Trash Billy Bob i saw you. He was having a nice intellectual conversation with another guy about Toby Keith is really rock music, not country and how his "Red, White and Blue" song was the best. Then he started talking about religion and was about as well-educated about christianity as a fcuking 2 year old. Then he looked over at me and was like, "ARE THOSE HP COMPUTERS NICE?" i thought, well, lets see my computer costs more than your outfit, car and shitty DELL combined, so i would say yes. but all i said was "yeah". Nice pick-up line White-Trash Billy Bob, maybe you should read up more in your "How to Pick Up Chicks" book while you jerk off. Then to top it off, are you ready? He started talking about POKEMON!!! pokemon? are you fcuking kidding me??!! POKEMON?? are we talking about the same game that came out in elementary school?? squirtle, charizarre...WTF is this did i happen to sit in on...A FUCKING GAMER CONVENTION??? GET A LIFE, YOU ARE IN COLLEGE GO LOSE SOME WEIGHT INSTEAD OF PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, LARD ASS! hmmm...i think i will leave Billy Bob alone now. fat ass...okay, sorry...im finished really.
Guy #3: Ok, lets call him Im A Homo, But Im In Denial, Asian Dude. He is in my A&P class so i ALREADY have to listen to his tard ass every monday and wednesday. So now, when i think i have gotten away from the madness this freak sits down. He is probably the dumbest fcuk i have ever eavesdropped in on. He's also a fatass and is sitting in a way with his legs up so i can see right up his shorts...lovely...wait, is that a penis or vagina? Hmmm, can't tell, maybe it is both. He showed Billy Bob and Lispy this gay ass video on You Tube and turned it up to a BLARING level...it was some reggae shit about a FCUKING CHEESEBURGER!! OH MY GAWD...i want to stab myself in the eye with my bobby pin since that is the closest object to inflict pain on myself. Now Homo is talking about how he went to Wal-Mart and spent 8 dollars on Easter candy(its his secret "under-the-bed-stash). OH MY Im A Homo, But Im In Denial Asian Dude...you are such a rebel...8 dollars on EASTER CANDY? you live life on the edge, you hunk ...take me now (puts hand on forehead and faints...) Now, he is informing the other losers how you can go to McDonalds and get a Big Mac for a dollar and you can get EXTRA onions without having to pay for them! EXTRA ONIONS ON MY BIG MAC WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY FOR THEM?? GET ME TO THE NEAREST MCDONALDS, STAT!! i am on my way to mcdonalds right now, the extra no-cost onions is what sold me. So let me get this straight, Im A Homo, But Im In Denial, Asian Dude is funny and food savvy? Oh man, I can't take it anymore my panties are soooo wet. Get your fat asian ass over here big boy and make sure you bring your easter candy-it is going to be a wild ride.
Ok, well my next class is about to start so i guess i better wrap it up. I hope you laughed at me expense of having to sit here and listen to these fcuks. But now i am educated in Nintendo, Pokemon, Wii, Extra onions dont cost moola at mickeydees, HP's really are better, Chocolate makes Lispy break out, People like to reggae rap about cheeseburgers and the day after Easter I can buy secret-stash candy for under my bed for 8 dollars at wally world. My day is complete, no actually my whole year is complete...if i never see these nerds again i think i could make it. I can honestly say I have big tits, a vagina and blond hair and I am still smarter than these tards put together in one big retard smoothie...
now i can breathe...i feel better...i love myself. have a good day all you fellow ubersiters...
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-13 15:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you can make this read like a story, and not a blog, it would be better
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-13 13:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
unfortunatley for me i can fcuk around on the computer and multi-task listening to their conversation. """
nice one da vinci.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-04-13 13:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/66802
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-04-13 12:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
the faggotry here is unparalleled
Submitted by NoMeD (user info) at 2007-04-13 12:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I stopped reading this. You sound like a stuck up cunt bIATCH.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-13 12:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by MEGACITO (user info) at 2007-04-13 10:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm new and this hurt my eyes , you suk please leave
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-04-13 08:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2DIE
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-13 05:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm not in the business of slamming new users just because they're new. With no factual basis, I offer the opinion that the majority of Uberites aren't either.
So you're going to have to face up to and handle the possibility (read: reality) that this was utter crap.
Sorry.
Welcome.
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2007-04-12 23:12:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
and we care.....why?
Submitted by BeaverDamn (user info) at 2007-04-12 22:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I read the last paragraph.
It sucked.
Peener.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-04-12 22:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Miss_Collins (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why do you do this? really, stop...spare us all. I go into college because i can write sentences that contain more than 5 words...i guess ubersite isnt maintaining there standards...toodles
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It is called a haiku, a poetic style originated in Japan. Try thinking before you say anything to anybody, it'll really help.
For a college kid, you don't seem to have mastered the basics of writing. You're missing basic conventions and capitalization, let alone a developed writing style or technique.
When you feel like speaking to me in an intelligent manner on your post then feel free, but until then, I will treat you like the fifth grader your writing ability says you are.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-12 21:31:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I did not enjoy reading about your lovers.
Submitted by Miss_Collins (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:52:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ya'll are all so sweet...really go one
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok, I've been away too long. Someone tell me how the hell this just dropped off the front page??
-----
I've got privileges
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ok, I've been away too long. Someone tell me how the hell this just dropped off the front page??
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:30:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
MACBOOK PROS ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE SCARED TO PLAY COUNTER STRIKE ON A PLANE
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2nami
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
yay. alter. sico getting 'creative' again, but this time its from the OTHER side of the social specrum as he sees it. i guess life for him is like the first 2/3rds of some 80s film, where the jocks are the kings.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this should do it.
bye
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:22:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow
i actually just read this and now i internet hate you.
forever.
i bet you overuse the word 'like' don't you?
LIKE OMG! MY HP COST MORE THAN HIS LIFE!
HINT:
HP'S ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE SONY VAIOS.
SONY VAIOS ARE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE TOO SCARED TO GET A MACBOOK PRO
ARSENIC IS FOR STUPID LITTLE WHORES LIKE YOU WHO DESERVE TO DIE OF CUNT CANCER.
(best accuse you of being an alter here just to cover the bases. slut.)
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
retals are not cool.
you'll be off the front page momentarily and forgotten for ever old egg.
toodles.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Bless you. You'll learn. Welcome to Uber!!
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:15:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ap class = highschool. so you're retarded, an alter or both.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:15:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
unfortunatley for me i can fcuk around on the computer and multi-task listening to their conversation. """
nice one da vinci.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:11:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm glad you love yourself. You may find that nobody else loves you.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I made it the whole way through, but never figured out how you got into a college. I know money goes a long way, but there are at least SOME standards which must be maintained.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
anyone with half a brain would have stood up and left, so by judge judy's logic this story is a lie
Submitted by Sparxicus (user info) at 2007-04-12 20:07:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I got to "retarted"