Ubersite
Home - About Us - Contact
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
Welcome to Ubersite!
Search Ubersite
Search for:

Most Recently Reviewed
  1. Fuck Nerds, Jocks get what...
  2. This Has Got To Stop
  3. Fuck Wizards, Gnomes get w...
  4. Are backward hats ok, fore...
  5. Medieval Stick People War ...
  6. I'm Dying
  7. Setting Things Right, Part...
  8. Fried Pig Pussy
  9. Canuck Elections 2008 (Can...
  10. Grueberfest 2008 Round 3 –...
more...
Most Heated
  1. This Has Got To Stop (132 heat)
  2. Bigger than Maddox... Oh, ... (38 heat)
  3. Norway - Nation of Darknes... (34 heat)
  4. Big Dog: Freaky (33 heat)
  5. Canuck Elections 2008 (Can... (30 heat)
  6. I'm Dying (25 heat)
  7. Angry Pig is Angry (24 heat)
  8. This is a serious writers ... (23 heat)
  9. I'm Warning you.............. (23 heat)
  10. Medieval Stick People War ... (22 heat)
more...
Most Viewed Messages
  1. The Ultimate MS Paint: It... (1143840 hits)
  2. "If I cum now, will it be ... (699530 hits)
  3. Exploiting Peer-to-Peer Ne... (385990 hits)
  4. How To Pick Up Chicks (325950 hits)
  5. Motivating the Weekend (305755 hits)
  6. Knockoff porn movie titles (300675 hits)
  7. My J-Date Misadventure (286335 hits)
  8. Licking A Bum's Ass (249936 hits)
  9. Badass Australian Cows (246978 hits)
  10. Totally Useless Facts (231383 hits)
more...
Most Viewed Authors
  1. Bart Cilfone (1456000 hits)
  2. Stanley Moore (1440745 hits)
  3. JMG114 (1379147 hits)
  4. Razor (1374001 hits)
  5. MickGinny (1283820 hits)
  6. loki (1060974 hits)
  7. Jonukah (973372 hits)
  8. weeeeep (923534 hits)
  9. (o)ct(o)berfest (899954 hits)
  10. Cat Crooner Extraordinaire (885133 hits)
  11. Ubersite needs me! (876660 hits)
  12. Asian Men Love Me (873686 hits)
  13. Tom (832072 hits)
  14. Sideburns, MUHFUCKA (806261 hits)
  15. apollo88 (761950 hits)
  16. oy vey (754550 hits)
  17. T+I+G+E+R (750524 hits)
  18. Sorrell (743131 hits)
  19. Satan is my Motor (689102 hits)
  20. RON PAUL 2008! (684465 hits)
  21. HIDDEN101 (683044 hits)
  22. Sock Penis™ (678452 hits)
  23. Todd White (639890 hits)
  24. Phil Phone (639877 hits)
  25. T to the ToM (626603 hits)
  26. iddqd (619492 hits)
  27. kaos-king (604082 hits)
  28. comicbookguy (588388 hits)
  29. ♥ (582222 hits)
  30. O (577816 hits)
Click here to return to the list of messages.

Irezumi (163 hits)

Category: None

Rating: 1 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by ramirez60 (View user info) at 2007-04-12 21:43:28 EDT


One helluva vacation. Really, my wife has a point. I should take some time off this crap. Maybe I should take time off her, to finish this crap. This city is knee-deep in filth, and this city is just a fraction of the world. Hell, not even a fraction, a blip. A fucking blip, and the debauchery that goes on is indescribable. It would make young schoolboys piss their pants, and girls feint like they were watching tentacle rape.

How the hell did I end up like this? Half-Japanese American, working the Tokyo underground as a cop, it reeks of a budget film. There was one thing I had, I was good. I did whatever they gave me, and they didn't ask questions. I'd been burying trash so bad that they decided I could take some time off, rest from the mental anguish. It wasn't going to work. I had a hunch. You know, the feeling in the pit of your stomach, no rationale, but somehow you can't let it go. It's never wrong, like when you first think the girl's cheating on you. Or when you first realize that girl you bought a drink for was really a guy, it's the inner workings of the universe unraveling its brilliant plan in the only form it can. A hunch.

What's the connection? They sent me to Hakone, an onsen near Tokyo telling me to relax. Get buck-ass naked and lounge around in some boiling hot water with a group of mis-figured men in desperate need of rest, not my idea of relaxing. I bitched, but finally I realized I had a lead here. Usually I just ditch the leads that lead me to the outskirts, small-time junkies, not worth the effort. Something here wasn't right though. This one gave me the urge to wrench out the truth, even from just a small-time junkie. When you roll around with trash as much as I do, you don't feel bad about yourself when you're beating a naked pimp as his hooker stands their mortified. Sometimes, you even want to do it.

In Japan, you don't usually run across unique names. There's a list, and everyone picks their kids name off the list. So when that tattoo'ed junkie said a name that led to this one guy, I was curious. A two-bit dealer in Hakone? What was the connection? This smelt like a rotting carcass, and I wanted to get out. Something about this screamed that I was getting in over my head, that I was going to lose it all for this fuckin' case. So there I was, standing in front of the door of a guy who ran a sushi shop. Ready to talk my way into the back, and meet this sumo-wrestler somehow wrapped up in a tattoo artist drug ring, I really wonder if it's really worth it. If I shouldn't go back to the wife, retire, and raise some kids in a sheep farm out in New Zealand. I really ponder if some holy spirit designed the world so that this one moment could happen.

Fuck it...

Submit to Digg Submit to StumbleUpon

User Reviews


Submitted by ramirez60 (user info) at 2007-04-12 23:38:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Crap. I also used the wrong their once. Bah, I should read more carefully before I hit submit. Sorry..

Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-04-12 22:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

You misspelled "faint". Feint has a completely different meaning.

Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-04-12 22:08:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment


Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman -- and
I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear,
which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection