:-l (271 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.37 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Unban_Phallic_Cymbals (View user info) at 2007-04-16 20:15:52 EDT
The following is 100% true:
When my first girlfriend and I decided to pop each other's cherries, i got her home and put some music on. It was smooth Jazz. Then, i embraced her and we fell down on the bed as an alto sax hit climax. Then i got naked and went to sleep. See, my knowledge of sex was based on late 80s early 90s romance movies and always you just see two silhouettes fall down towards a bed, they go down out of shot then it cuts to them lying all smiley in bed the next day. So that's what i thought sex was. You fall down to smooth jazz, then its morning.
This Easter Monday i went shooting rabbits. The first one of the day i got on the fly and it was a pretty poor shot. The first bullet hit it just forward of the rear legs and its intestines poured out. As the bunny was crawling round, smearing its guts on the dirt, i lined up the kill shot. As i was about to pull the trigger, my buddy says "Happy Easter". I laughed.
To religious people: Free will and omniscience are completely contradictory. Either God knows what you'll do tomorrow so you have no choice and he is all knowing, or he doesnt know which path you'll take so hes not all knowing. How do you reconcile that?
User Reviews
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-04-16 23:52:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious.
Especially the title.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-16 23:26:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Well great.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i found this quite funny.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:43:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I reckon God knew this was going to be a mediocre post.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unban Phallic Cymbals
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:40:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's like putting CCTV in the box with Schrodinger's cat. It doesn't make the box any less random with regards to feline survival rate.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:40:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why was phallic banned?
UNBAN HIM!
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:37:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-17 10:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No because to assert God's omniscience you have to propose that God knows what will happen in the future. If God knows exactly what will happen in the future, then your actions are basically foretold and your apparent choices were ALWAYS going to take the form that they did.
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The phrase "were always" is useless. You posted this, therefore you WERE ALWAYS going to post this. It doesn't matter what you intended at any point, it matters what you did. Free will and a linear history aren't mutually exclusive, it just so happens that you will use your free will to go one way or another, and if there exists a being which can trascend time and see which way that is it doesn't have an actual effect on how you make the choice.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You Aussies are just plain weird.
No two ways about it.
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No because to assert God's omniscience you have to propose that God knows what will happen in the future. If God knows exactly what will happen in the future, then your actions are basically foretold and your apparent choices were ALWAYS going to take the form that they did.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:29:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh yeah. As I have had a bunny, I must disapprove of them being killed. Especially the brown ones with white spots on their noses and floppy ears.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:27:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The free will/omniscience thing is rubbish.
That's like saying you know exactly what you did in your past, so you didn't have free will at the time.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not a big fan of Jet either. There was something I was going to say about this post but I really don't remember. Oh well.
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-16 20:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Christ Jet are a shitty shit band.