SUPA R2 - "The Pleasures Of My Pain" (945 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 1.04 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JoeyG (View user info) at 2007-04-17 06:36:49 EDT
This world of ours, it's true indeed, is full of golden treasures;
The ones I seek, the ones I heed, are pure simplistic pleasures.
Whilst what I crave, may be a sin, my lust for mutilation,
What you inflict, upon my skin, is heavenly sensation.
You make my senses bleed.
Secure me down, with ties that bind, begin to be malicious;
Don't let me guess, what's in your mind, the Devil is capricious.
Enact your will, do what it seems, is dirty and sadistic,
Your dark desires, your wildest dreams, are deeply hedonistic.
Let your senses concede.
Serrated blades, and gleaming tools, whichever is your choice,
They slice my skin, and my blood pools, a feeling of rejoice.
I see your eyes, they sparkle bright, and light this world of mine,
The joy you feel, this wond'rous night, is nothing asinine.
You make me beg and plead!
The way it feels, when you constrict, my throat to suffocate me,
I'm at your will, at your edict; my love for you soars greatly.
You burn my flesh, you open vein, you never give reprise,
Your screams of joy, and mine of pain, we darkly rhapsodize.
To your will I accede
The more you whip, the more I scream, the more you lacerate me,
The punishment of your regime, is purely to berate me.
That pain you give, is sheer delight, orgasmic and divine,
What we enjoy, without contrite, is consensual malign.
We set each other free.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-19 08:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK!
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuckenheimer fuck!
How on EARTH did I manage to miss your post two days ago?!?
Apologies, mate...I thought I had rated everyone. Hopefully Origamisan will give you the victory.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-19 07:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guviaofffahhh.
That's faggot for good job.
Submitted by T.Allenae (user info) at 2007-04-19 03:27:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not against you but for the nice guy
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hi!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:59:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure a number of the comments focus on the funny factor, but some people really live like this, and I've visited literotica.com enough to know that some of them would surely relate. I can read this with or without the humorous tone, and either way, it's well written and pretty tight. Well done.
Submitted by Matin_Morte (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:57:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WatchMyStep (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:53:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:39:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your rhythm is really coming along. The last two stanzas, to me, despite keeping a steady number of beats, come off as not needing "me" at the end of the first lines. My eyes and inner voice want to naturally stop at "lacerate/suffocate/berate." You're consistent at least, though the third stanza moves from 15 syllables to 14. Regardless, you're not only improving but you're telling a tale that could either be charming, funny or a cry for help. In other words, good on ya.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:29:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry, I made a mistake on the other post and this is the only way I can correct it.
But I've still seen better and I'll stick with that.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go joey
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:19:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This place is going all to hell.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-18 22:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Politics?
Cool!
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-04-18 21:38:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
one more for the road
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-18 21:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
consolation prize
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2007-04-18 18:43:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Über politics.
Hope to God that you never understand.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2007-04-18 18:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Got an e-mail from Shlongy.
I'll make it up to you dude.
Submitted by vyktoriah (user info) at 2007-04-18 18:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
whoops
Submitted by vyktoriah (user info) at 2007-04-18 18:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have a pair of leather pants and they chafe like you wouldn't believe.
I have the hardest time explaining the rashes away.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2007-04-18 17:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shame on you, you let a bunch of adolescents get to you
Submitted by gank (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can do nothing but picture Lucy Liu in "Payback".
Not sure if that's a good thing.
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:38:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't fret it, fellas.
I'm a big fan of JoeyG's work here on Uber and he is more than welcome to write my Round 3 submission if I'm lucky enough to emerge victorious.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome to Ubersite, then. Officially.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:32:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Origami-san is right.
I am ashamed.
I shall never have fun here again.
I am abominable.
I am unclean.
I am spent.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The latest and most disappointing part of this to-do below.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I am undone.
Look not upon me, for I am wretched.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Forgive me Joey, and forgive the others who will inevitably follow.
Our actions, though tragic, will probably save lives.
The thoughts of a grateful web site are with you here today, in honour of your sacrifice.
One day you will understand.
It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It's a far, far better rest to which you go than you have ever known.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-18 14:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-18 13:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
VIVA EL SHLONGY
Submitted by Mr_Burns (user info) at 2007-04-18 11:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Eeexcellent
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-18 05:44:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yup
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-18 02:02:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-17 21:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-17 21:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Give me beer and whiskey, O Lord, and please let me be inconsequential.
Submitted by beeltea (user info) at 2007-04-17 20:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-17 17:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll concede to Zebra's review for serious crit.
But, damn if I didn't enjoy how you mashed painful content into a whimsical, rhyming style.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-17 16:18:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Are you planning on +2-ing my entry?
That dictates what I'll give you.
Actually, it doesn't.
You're the competition...the hell with you.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-17 12:41:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The rhymes remind me of the exchange between Fezzik and Inigo Montoya...but not in a good way.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-17 11:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2007-04-17 11:21:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it Mr G. I am no wordsmith when it comes to poetry but this was good for me.
Also that picture excited me; I would probably actually let a woman wearing that get up whip me, and I'm not normally into that kind of thing.
Honest I'm not.
"Coming Mistress!"
Oops I'm late gottta go.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-17 10:59:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-04-17 08:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 BDSM games...
Wheeeeee!!!
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-17 10:40:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My funny bone was only mildly aroused by this.
I do give you credit for at least possessing the ability to count syllables and find rhymes when you want them.
Sado-masochism could probably feed a more radical entry, however.
This felt constrained.
It went from point A to point A. You climaxed too early, and the rest was just filler.
You might have begun as if it was about one thing, something innocent, and then slowly exposed the beast.
Or possibly started as you did, laying it all out with a light, playful tone, only to reveal your partner slowly going too far.
Just a couple of examples. This was not bad. It just could have been so much more satisfying.
Submitted by odin (user info) at 2007-04-17 10:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-04-17 09:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd hit it.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-04-17 09:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am giving you the benefit of the doubt, but I dislike italics.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-04-17 08:45:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 BDSM games...
Wheeeeee!!!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-04-17 06:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-17 06:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Always feel bad breaking a run. But...
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-17 06:52:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-17 06:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2007-04-17 06:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.