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SUPA Round 2: Crash (905 hits)

Category: Quotes & Stories -> Poetry
Labels: supa

Rating: 1.13 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Labels:

Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-04-18 00:01:17 EDT


Possession is a virtue unsurpassed
In love - sheets in motion, nightstands, not here
But there, careless precise atomic blasts
To burn the heart in battle through the years.
But one night from a call there will appear
A black-red shadesplit blueburst break to cast
Your promised future and your treasured past
To a present of steel, blood, glass and fear.

Do you decline? Do you embrace the long
Coarse hourglass grain or the mute Fates malign?
Every wet day waking to coupled songs
To rain dust onto an old cloth's silk spine,
Every night breaking your back to prolong
The approximate end to yours and mine.



crash.JPG (53 kB)

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User Reviews


Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2007-04-19 12:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Your work is always good O. I believe that you were judged unfairly here, the rating should have been higher, I somehow was missed by the almighty -2 alters and got lucky in that stance.

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-19 00:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-18 20:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

O-Man, this was better than the other entries, and I can tell you didn't even try. As I have said before, if you really tried, no one could beat you at poetry. This is all about popularity, and only then about the Shlongy type of popularity. What a fucking waste of talent for anyone who actually entered this thing attempting to be serious. Fuck.

---

This year's dealings are certainly a different breed of animal, I'll give you that. I figure I had two choices - be as hands off as possible and let the public decide what they want, or be vigilant and oppressive to the point where it wouldn't be fun for a lot of people, including me.

Frustrating and disappointing? Of course. But what are we to do about it besides laugh, roll our eyes and focus on the good that comes out of it? Anything else would just blow a vein or birth an ulcer. And as Herbert Hoover used to say, "well that's just silly."

You're right in a sense that I didn't try, but only right in that I didn't try to write anything sooner. This was very last minute and was written from the middle down and then up from the beginning. Which is no way to compose something. I fear I'm falling into a habit of writing things that make sense to me because I've already made associations and links in my head. This runs the risk of isolating the reader, which likely happened here.



AshK, I don't think it's a matter of other users 'writing down to your level' as much as it is my not being as clear as I could have been. There's some legwork to be done here, yes, but that doesn't mean it has to be a deathmarch.

Submitted by WatchMyStep (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:55:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:47:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I weep for the future, Anansie.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-18 23:43:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

This contest has jumped the shark. For realz.

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-18 21:04:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

An HONEST contest can be found. It's on a place called PulseHead. They don't put up with shit
like Shlongy. Ooops, no difference. Zebra would last maybe five reviews in his normal style, then he would be where he really belongs...

The point is, this place has gone to shit when Shlongy can beat Ttom...


Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-18 20:40:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No one can have an honest contest on Uber now. Certain ASSHOLES will fuck up anything that
comes to pass. The assholes know who they are.

O-Man, this was better than the other entries, and I can tell you didn't even try. As I have said before, if you really tried, no one could beat you at poetry. This is all about popularity, and only then about the Shlongy type of popularity. What a fucking waste of talent for anyone who actually entered this thing attempting to be serious. Fuck.


Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-18 20:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

"A black-red shadesplit blueburst break to cast
Your promised future and your treasured past
To a present of steel, blood, glass and fear"

I love these lines.

I read this a few times- admittedly, the first time I apparently failed to consider the picture. But each time, my mind created a different scenario, which intrigues me. It also makes the already economical approach even more powerful; it evokes Big Questions in my mind in a relatively short piece.

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-04-18 19:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

No Comment

Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-18 18:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2


yes indeedy.


Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 17:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

PIBTBAYT DCETET?

---

Yes dear. Pibtbayt Dcetet. It's the keyword to the whole Ismael Ax mystery.

Don't tell anyone, ok?

Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-04-18 17:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

while this wasn't my favorite poem, the sheer entertainment value alone this contest has brought is worth a +2.

Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

I'll go with "worth reading" because, frankly, I don't get it.

Sorry for punishing you for my lack of comprehension.

Thanks to everyone else for writing down to my level...


I'm going to read this again.



Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-18 16:06:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

PIBTBAYT DCETET?


Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:53:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

lol this was prety

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:38:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Don't believe the hype. I couldn't be any more disappointed.

Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:16:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Piss off Orgasmoron: +2 this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/100833

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-18 13:42:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

I've decided to give this 1.5 because I don't like one poem over the other between you and your opponent. It's only fair.

Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-18 13:19:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Odd

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 13:13:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-18 09:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I like the second stanza, but the first didn't really do much for me. You rushed this one, I guess.

---

You'd be right.

Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-04-18 09:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

I like the second stanza, but the first didn't really do much for me. You rushed this one, I guess.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-18 09:34:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

The varying rhyme formats between the first and second stanzas made it a +2. Interesting read...I'm not sure I still quite understand the meaning of it, but I like it.

Submitted by Mr_Burns (user info) at 2007-04-18 09:13:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

No Comment

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-18 05:16:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-18 19:10:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1

poetry...No way i'll ever understand that...

B

=========

Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-04-18 17:55:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0

supa eats balls.

C


Submitted by rorrim (user info) at 2007-04-18 05:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1

poetry...No way i'll ever understand that...


Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:55:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

supa eats balls.

Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-18 03:08:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

You used 'malign', too.

I love that word.

Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-18 01:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-18 15:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1

D

Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-18 01:48:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1



Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-18 00:40:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2

A

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-18 00:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

F!


Well, I acquired it legally, you can be sure of that.

-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror VI