Fuck You, I'm Drunk (2369 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.34 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve St. Awesome of Lindholm (View user info) at 2007-04-20 02:36:04 EDT
I don't give a FUCK about baby ducks. No matter what that tow truck guy said.
I wrote my last final today and I think I wrote my bank account number where my student ID was supposed to go. I have no idea if I'm writing English right now. I'm sorry for anything that spins off into space like a penguin caught in a wormhole in outer space because I got hammered and threatened some one with a broken bottle. And ate some berries I found on the side of the road.
I had once of those 'WTF AM I DOING?' moments in my exam today. My exam was for swedish. Why in the HELL am I taking Swedish?
Then I remembered all the hot chicks in sweden and finished my exam. I wanted to draw a picture of Flava Flav for my written response question, but I didn't. Why, I don't know.
I used to listen to Gordon Lightfoot and think about my girlfriend. Now I think she's a soul-sucking bitch and I want her to grow up and leave me to my misery. Now when I listen to Gordon Lightfoot I think about bombing Poland. Fuck you, Poland.
I dedicate this post to booze and the fact that I must work tomorrow.
I am so done.
If I didn't love the Red Wings so much, I'd jump off a building. But now I know they want me to SUFFER.
GOD DAMN I HATE CALGARY.
I WISH I WAS A FISH!
WHERE ARE MY PANTS?
...did I seriously throw my shoe at a homeless guy?...
...why are my lips all puffy and red...
...you can't read this...CAN YOU??????
User Reviews
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-09-17 17:05:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2007-09-17 16:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my first rating of a stevie post...all I can say is "Wow"
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-28 09:39:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stevie_says - Trevligt. Men du, varför läser du svenska egentligen? Vi är bara 9 miljoner som använder språket.. =)
CaptainThorns - What Rob said.
Just joking. =)
But isn't Flemish closer to Dutch than Swedish?
Emission -
Got something in your eye?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-04-27 12:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So how about them Red Wings.
What... losing? To the SHARKS? Why that's my team!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-23 06:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck the Flames, Go Wings
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-04-22 13:54:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bang on the door but you won't let me in,
'cause you're sick and tired of me reeking of gin.
Locked all the doors from the front to the back,
And left me a note telling me I should pack.
I walk in the bar and the fella's all cheer,
They order me up a whiskey and beer.
You ask me why I'm writing this poem,
Some call it a tavern but I call it home.
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk.
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!
You've given me an option, you say I must choose,
'tween you and the liqour, then I'll take the booze!
Jumpin' on Western down to the south side,
Where I'll sit down and exercise my Irish pride.
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk.
Fuck you, I'm drunk
Fuck you, I'm drunk
And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-22 13:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2007-04-22 01:25:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-21 23:36:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A +2 post, rated as follows by Zebra:
-1
0
+1
0
0
Plus, Zebra thinks he speaka da spic well, but he has a Spanish lisp....
Le Madre la puta......
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What fuck do you give?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-20 23:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't know how much I love you for reviewing with that, Bubs.
******
Actually, O, I wasn't cumming. Hell, I wasn't even breathin' hard.
Sac could make me har.... Ooooppppsss!!!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You don't know how much I love you for reviewing with that, Bubs.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweeney:
You see this egg?
You see this egg?
Well that's life on a crocodile isle.
There's no telephones
There's no gramophones
There's no motor cars
No two-seaters, no six-seaters
No Citroen, no Rolls-Royce.
Nothing to eat but the fruit as it grows.
Nothing to see but the palmtrees on way
And the sea the other way
Nothing to hear but the sound of the surf
Nothing at all but three things
Doris:
What things ?
Sweeney:
Birth, and copulation and death.
That's all, that's all, that's all, that's all
Birth, and copulation, and death.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:41:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, one could claw the Sac's egg, and I just happen to have the perfect claw,
rat cheer in my skivvies. Hold on, Sac, I'm comin'....
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, the Claw and Egg Sacrilicious. The rarest of the Sacriliciouses.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A +2 post, rated as follows by Zebra:
-1
0
+1
0
0
Plus, Zebra thinks he speaka da spic well, but he has a Spanish lisp....
Le Madre la puta......
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who murdered the dog?
GET IT?
How do you do?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-20 17:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IHOP
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-04-20 15:30:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like random.
And you're taking Swedish because it is a beautiful, melodic language which contains the word "lagom", which some think is a curse, and some argue is why Swedish rocks ass.
Hur gick det med tentan då?
---
Jag hade det bra med min tenta. Min lärare var mycket kul.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:51:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey baby wanna converse some time *wink*
*wink*
*wink*
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-20 08:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like random.
And you're taking Swedish because it is a beautiful, melodic language which contains the word "lagom", which some think is a curse, and some argue is why Swedish rocks ass.
Hur gick det med tentan då?
------------------------------
My heritage is Flemish. We should converse sometime.
---
(...nerdiest pick up line... ever.)
(hehe)
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck You, I am Hung Over.
I will write about it later. It's a good story.
Submitted by guitarjunky421 (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:53:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
no comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-04-20 08:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like random.
And you're taking Swedish because it is a beautiful, melodic language which contains the word "lagom", which some think is a curse, and some argue is why Swedish rocks ass.
Hur gick det med tentan då?
------------------------------
My heritage is Flemish. We should converse sometime.
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2007-04-20 08:35:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-04-20 07:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll get you yet darko!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-20 06:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
El amor semeja un árbol: se inclina por su propio peso, arraiga profundamente en todo nuestro ser y a veces sigue verdeciendo en las ruinas de un corazón.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2007-04-20 06:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Where can like to be my jean pant?
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
she-nani-gans
You are either bullshitting or your idea of drunk is not my idea of drunk.
When I am wasted I cannot type for toffee let alone attach a picture.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:46:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like random.
And you're taking Swedish because it is a beautiful, melodic language which contains the word "lagom", which some think is a curse, and some argue is why Swedish rocks ass.
Hur gick det med tentan då?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:45:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gabs anyone?
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait. Make that I am too drunk.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:24:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coley le envié por correo electrónico anoche... ¡En trabajo ahora tan dirección de correo electrónico diferente!
¿Consiguió usted el correo?
¡¡Usted es gracioso!! ¡Gracioso como Steve Guttenberg!
¡Mi español es la mierda, lamentable!
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:20:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I too am drunk.
Submitted by NotVoltron (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate Calgary too. Iginla must die.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:08:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yo no estoy muy comico, EmissionImpossible. tambien, no tengo mail! Que pasa?
Quien es su amigo Steve St Aaaaawesome?
Es el rapido? Inteligente? muy guapo? chistoso?
ESTOY MUY CURIOUSO!
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pero mi pene es enorme.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
LETS GO FLAMES LETS GO! WOOOOO
/ashamed Oiler fan
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:06:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
También no tengo ninguna pierna.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh Coley said something funny, possibly.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:05:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
También no tengo ningún pantalones encendido.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you Zebra, I rather enjoyed it myself.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DONDE ESTAN MIS PANTALONES????
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-20 03:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That blueboy thing was fan-fucking-tastic.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-20 02:59:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've had an absolutely horrible day.
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2007-04-20 02:53:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-04-20 02:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"What? have you never seen a genius with no pants on?"
"Well yes once in the park"
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-20 02:46:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment