Back With a Vengance - Teeph Reviews Nine Inch Nails' "Year Zero" (873 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.84 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Teephphah (View user info) at 2007-04-20 11:01:56 EDT
I know you've all been waiting for it, so here it is:
Teephphah's Official Review of Nine Inch Nails, "Year Zero." -
I dunno. Kinda sucked?
It's only been two years since the last album (which also kinda sucked) as opposed to the more traditional five between NIN albums . . . and it shows.
This one is supposed to be another "concept album" a la "The Downward Spiral (hereinafter referred to as TDS). Only whereas TDS was interesting as a chronicle of a man's decent into depression/self-destruction/tight jeans/t-shirts from Hot Topic, "Year Zero" is the just movie "V for Vendetta" without a psychotic-but-endearingly-loquacious anti-hero or any sort of typical Wachowski Brothers philosophical overtones. But on the bright side "Year Zero does have aliens coming in at the end to wipe out humanity for its filthy, horrible crimes against the planet (Yaaay! Go Captain Plane . . . I mean, aliens! Stop those mean old Christian, capitalist, product-consuming polluters!). "V for Vendetta" only has some nut-job blowing up Parliament. And Natalie Portman.
Lyrically, it has all the intellectual content of a Cindy Sheehan rally, which is to say, none. I didn't have the heart or the time to count up all the clichés in the lyrics but they come at you hard and fast. Don't even get me started on the "retarded robot" lyrical style Trent uses for the "bad guys" in here.
But then again, I'm pretty sure that I'm not the intended audience for this thing anyway. I'm old and I'm educated and this thing is pitched to appeal the exact opposite of that. But even then, this sucks as mindless propaganda too. If Trent really wanted to go the political/religious/environmental propaganda route, he should have tried taking some notes from KMFDM. After all, he's cited them as an inspiration for years. So if that's true, how could he have missed the two key components to good propaganda music? All you need is:
1) To name-check at every opportunity; and
2) To include the sounds of crowds cheering wildly.
Looks like I've been giving good ol' Trent waaaaaay too much credit over the years.
Sure. I freely acknowledge that it could just be the sobriety talking here, but it seems like when this guy isn't going on about how depressed or pissed off he is, he doesn't have a whole lot to offer.
Which makes me sad.
Like this. =(
See?
And speaking of Trent being depressed or pissed off, I think I've finally figured out what makes this album and the last album kind of suck . . . poor Trent has gone and misplaced his balls! I don't know where they might have run off to, but at this point it is fairly obvious that they and any and all testosterone that once might have been associated with them are long gone.
This is a flat-out "pop" album. Yes, there's feedback and some other harsh electronic effects, but you will have to listen pretty hard to hear GUITARS or anything to really rock your face off like Trent was known to do back when I was a kid. Instead, you listen to this album and sure, you do get sucked in by the oh-so-catchy hooks here and there, but as you catch yourself strutting your stuff in mid-macharaina you won't be able to help thinking, "This is the same guy who wrote 'Wish?' No way. I'm pretty sure there was no xylophone in 'Wish.'"
I really miss Trent's balls.
Wait. That came out wrong.
Oh well, it's out there now. Might as well just move on.
So, that's the bad news. The good news is this:
When you put the CD in your CD player, the CD is sort of a Spinal Tap-esque "How much more black could it be?" black, but when you take it OUT of your CD player (assuming your CD player is generating any kind of heat) it is WHITE!
WHOA! WHAT KIND OF ALTERNATE REALITY HAVE I SLIPPED INTO? WASN'T THE CD BLACK WHEN I PUT IT IN THERE?! HAS THE WHOLE WORLD TAKEN CRAZY PILLS?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE!! FIRST IT'S BLACK, THEN IT'S WHITE!!
Technically, there's a line in one of the last songs about how "all the black is really white if you only believe." Blah, blah, blah, faith/mind-control/soma/beer/porn/trans fats. Yadda, yadda.
I prefer to think of it as an homage to the "Hypercolor" clothes put out by Genera back in da day. But, you know, whatever floats your boat. I'm not here to judge.
You.
I'm not here to judge you. I am here to judge the album.
That was actually the whole point. You know, an album review.
"Review" here being synonymous with "judging" to a certain extent.
But anyway . . .
In closing, the review below is pretty much dead wrong and I'm pissed because I believed them and actually paid money for the album instead of acquiring it by other means.
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:wzfrxz85ldje~T1
-The End.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-22 13:25:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-21 04:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NIN were ALWAYS lame.
-2 horrific maiming.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-20 22:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I saw them last year when they came through town. Easily one of the best shows I've ever seen. Evar.
Mercifully it seems I'm not the only one who remembers Hypercolor t-shirts. Bless you for that.
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2007-04-20 21:31:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing is more emo than an emo boy emo'ing about how his favourite emo isn't emo anymo'.
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This made me cry. =(
IMA CHUTE YOU IN DA FACE!
YOUR MERCEDES WON'T BE ENOUGH! YOUR VODKA AND COGNAC WON'T BE ENOUGH! YOU MADE ME DO THIS AND NOW YOU WILL HAVE FAECES ON YOUR HANDS THAT WILL NEVER WASH OFF!
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haha, makes me wonder what would happen if he came to ubersite before killing himself
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-04-20 20:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJYBx5NJULY
pre-NIN Trent Reznor. I laughed.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-04-20 18:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Saw them last month and got dumped a week later. Fucking Trent reznor, I blame him and not my multiple failings as a human being.
Submitted by transcendent (user info) at 2007-04-20 18:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I disagree with your review and rather enjoy Year Zero. And enjoyed With Teeth as well. Trent has a new direction with his music; live with it.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-04-20 16:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Balls are overrated.
Nice review, though.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 13:44:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-04-20 13:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, where the hell is ETS when you need him?
_____________________________________________________
I even put his (alter) name in teh title so he could stop by and say hi.
Drat and double-drat.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-04-20 13:25:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Teeph.
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Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it kinda sucked compared to earlier stuff.
And I can't remember the last time I paid money for an album.
God bless Torrentspy.
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btjunkie is where it is at.
-Dave
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-04-20 13:04:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, where the hell is ETS when you need him? You're a lawyer, which means, by default, means that you are also Jewish. Jewish=Zionist=>NWO. This not only insinuates some sort of Zionist plot against washed-up emo bands everywhere, but also PROVES BEYOND REASONABLE SPECULATION that Israeli black ops killed Kurt Cobain and took away Courtney Love's ability to color coordinate before turning her into a crack whore (not that I'm saying there's anything wrong with that.)
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:58:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing is more emo than an emo boy emo'ing about how his favourite emo isn't emo anymo'.
_______________________________________________________
This made me cry. =(
IMA CHUTE YOU IN DA FACE!
YOUR MERCEDES WON'T BE ENOUGH! YOUR VODKA AND COGNAC WON'T BE ENOUGH! YOU MADE ME DO THIS AND NOW YOU WILL HAVE FAECES ON YOUR HANDS THAT WILL NEVER WASH OFF!
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:50:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Allmusic overrates nearly everything.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:47:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nothing is more emo than an emo boy emo'ing about how his favourite emo isn't emo anymo'.
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nin always had bad lyrics..
but his new touring band is pretty good..
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jebus, you ARE a lawyer, aren't you? A lot of this reads like the docs they fax me all day.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have never heard a NIN song, ever.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:16:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NIN is for adolescents
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:07:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-20 17:05:18 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 17:00:33 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Greater Good isn't too bad. At least it's got a bit of fucking atmosphere
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I concur
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The Great Destroyer wasn't bad until it dissolved into batshitcrazy noises. Another Version of the Truth is so far not bad.
I wonder what the concept for this was? Perhaps he thought he hadn't fucked off his old fans properly enough after 'With Teeth' and just wanted to enrage us some more?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:05:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 17:00:33 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
The Greater Good isn't too bad. At least it's got a bit of fucking atmosphere
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I concur
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:02:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAHAHAHAHAH He's playing Meadowbank Sport Centre in Edinburgh. What the hell?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 12:00:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Greater Good isn't too bad. At least it's got a bit of fucking atmosphere.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah well, I guess this is what happens when you trade your self-loathing and drugs in for power bars and protein shakes.
It's like listening to cotton candy.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It isn't that the music is BAD per se, it just is NOT a NIN album as far as I'm concerned.
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It's pretty lame to be honest. It's all over the place like bad techno. In fact it sounds sort of like some of the lamer tracks on the album that had the weird Starfucker remixes on it... Fuck... Things Falling Apart! Admittedly I'm listening to it on lame speakers at work with no bass; but it's true, he's lost his balls. His voice his whiny and the songs are nowhere near as dark as they used to be. Meet Your Master is so far the only track that I've perked my ears up at.
The 'Now sing along everybody' line in 'God Given' made me want to punch the twat.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:54:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it kinda sucked compared to earlier stuff.
And I can't remember the last time I paid money for an album.
God bless Torrentspy.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hated writing this.
It isn't that the music is BAD per se, it just is NOT a NIN album as far as I'm concerned.
I really think I've NAILED it (har, har, punny) with the notion that Trent has lost his balls.
Think about it . . . there haven't been ANY songs about sex since TDS (I don't think).
OMGWTF?!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:39:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can listen to the whole album on the nin.com website. I'm 8 tracks in. It's pretty fucking rubbish.
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This review makes me weep, like this - :'(
I loved NIN and am sad to hear their new stuff is poop.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:13:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You see this people?
UBERSITE IS SAAAAAAAAAAAVED!
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The opening track is called Hyperpower? WHAT? HYPERPOWER?
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto sleazy lawyer +2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:11:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:09:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What's more, this guerilla "marketing" campaign has not been commented on by Reznor except to say that it is not marketing, but part of the concept of Year Zero itself and not meant to induce consumers to buy the record.
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What a pretentious cunt.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I really miss Trent's balls."
right.
but he's still awesome in concert.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:06:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you're saying "The Downward Spiral" was not just an album title, it was a preview of Reznor's career trajectory?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"This is the same guy who wrote 'Wish?' No way. I'm pretty sure there was no xylophone in 'Wish.'"
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I've not bought it yet. I listened to the previous album, which was trash and have lost faith. The only thing that's sort of restored me to liking NIN again (having previously owned practically everything they ever released) was seeing them live in Manchester. They only played one gay song ('Hand That Feeds') and the rest was dirty and hard as fuck. Personally I reckon he's getting way too influenced by the electro scene that seems to be picking up more and more. It fits with his more synthy music and he's just becoming a big fucking pussy because he's too old to get fucked up and make good music any more.
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-04-20 11:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 hypercolor