A trip to work...and camwhore I guess? (952 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.57 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ramirez60 (View user info) at 2007-04-21 09:47:36 EDT
I was walking to the train station for my morning commute, a five minute walk where the chances of entertaining events occurring border on the same order of magnitude as the number of women in an engineering school's open house. I didn't have a lot of work, so I was thinking about what I would putz around the internet reading today. I was walking instead of riding my bike to the station since I had some time and it was supposed to rain. As I cross a house I must have crossed hundreds of times before, someone taps my shoulder.
I turn around and look at a spitting image of me. Well, different clothes and he didn't have glasses on, but otherwise he looked exactly like me.
"Wha..."
"I'm alternate universe you."
Being the sci-fi geek that I am I racked my brain to figure out if this is actually possible, but before I had even thought of a single episode of Quinn Mallory's adventures my shoulder got tapped again.
This time I found three more copies of me, two of whom had glasses on.
"What the..."
"We are all alternate universe you's. There are hundreds more, but we figured you only needed us four."
So there I was, standing with alternate universe versions of me. This is not quite meeting God and being able to ask him the meaning of life, but I could bicker with myself. Hopefully not the first thought the rest of them are having because that could lead us down an endless cycle of stubbornness.
"Relax, we're a year older than you. We know exactly what you are thinking we did this a year ago."
Oh no, time travel? I was going to rack my brain for an explanation but they beat me to the punch.
"Stop thinking about it, we're here for a reason. It's very simple; you have a question you're not sure about."
"So basically, we're going to help you understand."
"We all do different things. I'm a lawyer, that one's a musician, that one works in finance, and the other me is a doctor."
Me being befuddled, "I hate medicine, why the hell did you become a doctor?"
"Lost a bet."
A collective moment of pain transpired as we all realize how serious this bet must have been.
"So what's been bothering you lately?" said lawyer me, quickly getting over the moment of Zen.
"Well you must know. That's why you're here isn't it?"
"Actually, one of the you's we went to go see was debating on life as a S&M slave and it was all sorts of confusing until we figured it out."
This is not something I imagined in my wildest dreams, especially not being the slave, so why would I? I had to ask..myself...
"Why did we want to..."
I was cutoff by the doctor me, "He was fuckin' nuts. Remember that time? With those pills? Well he got different ones."
Musician me finally spoke up, "We don't have much time. We're here to tell you something pretty simple. We're not very good with women. We think we are, but we're wrong. Furthermore, we all do different things, and we all have different jobs, but there's one thing that's the same for all of us."
"Yea, well maybe not S&M us, but the rest of us that we've encountered all end up making the same decision," interjected doctor me.
"And all of us are happy with our decision, even future us's, so even though you're not sure, just do it. It's the right choice," said lawyer me.
"I, well I want to bu..." and with that they all vanished. I should be asking myself how they got here, or who sent them, or any number of questions that should arise from such a situation. But if they were right, they came here for only one reason. So I did what any reasonable man would do in my situation, I booked the first flight to go home, and I asked her to marry me.
User Reviews
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-04-23 16:38:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
She said 'no', didn't she? That would kind of be a let-down after all the interdimensional advisory.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2007-04-23 14:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
pretty trippy...
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-04-23 12:33:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-21 09:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-04-23 04:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm hungover and didn't get this.
Benefit of doubt +2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-22 13:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2007-04-22 03:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "We're not good with women. We think we are, but we're not"
Submitted by wrinklebeast (user info) at 2007-04-21 23:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Kinda dumb, but congrats. She's kind of Asian for a porker.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-21 22:59:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm picturing you walking around your house, going about your daily chores, scratching your head, thinking, "Unban Phallic? WTF?" This amuses me.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-21 22:51:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha. manic_impressive is the alter for phallic_cymbals, who's been banned for a while. So yeah...Unban Phallic!
Submitted by ramirez60 (user info) at 2007-04-21 22:30:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm the guy. She's actually older than me. unban phallic?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-21 22:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOOK OUT FOR CHARLIES UP IN THE TREES!
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2007-04-21 20:54:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
DAMN your ugly
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-04-21 15:45:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-21 10:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Which one is you?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-04-21 13:49:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-04-21 12:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh...... I think you should know, she's a pedophile. 14 year-old Me fucked her rotten yesterday.
Submitted by Yougotthatright (user info) at 2007-04-21 12:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+2 for the story
-1 for the fact that you're ok with being seen in a bar with Woody Allens wife/step-child/daughter/maid/M Butterfly.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-04-21 11:33:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-21 10:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
unban phallic
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-04-21 11:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
funny gnome?
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-04-21 10:58:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ahahahahahahahahahaha retarded asian
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-21 10:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Which one is you?
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-21 10:48:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
unban phallic
Submitted by manic_impressive (user info) at 2007-04-21 10:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck off i hate you
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-04-21 09:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought you were a girl. Thank god I haven't been flirting with you. Your writing is interesting, if frustrating.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-04-21 09:58:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well that was interesting...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-21 09:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.