What would your cult be? (591 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.5 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rachel Happy pants (View user info) at 2007-04-25 09:41:53 EDT
I would love to be a cult leader. Power, group sexuals, all I could eat human blood...
Anyway it you could be a cult leader who would you be? What would you call yourself? Who would you worship? And how would you kill all your followers in a mass suicide type setting?
I would be her Bwana-ness Rachilliens, we would worship the cult of the proclaimers, proclaim our faith every where and maybe even walk 500 miles. Until the year 2020, when the great Lords would come to proclaim us and we would have mass suicide by caffiene poisoning.
User Reviews
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Cult of The Worship of Monsters Breasts.
Have you SEEN them??
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-04-26 04:34:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If I was a cult leader I would assign all the dudes random wives AND THEN assign all the babes random husbands. On the 30th of every month the congregation would take time out from their work to have a frenzied orgy which we would film and then distribute on youtube to attract the lonely and the desperate. We shall cruise rehab centers for young runaway girls at rock bottom for wifeys and our ranks will swell.
In the main courtyard we shall build a small monument with a plaque reading "Give us your hungry, your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free".
Is is a good idea to include public sex as part of the morning communion with me, their Lord?
I dunno. Maybe I'll just join Shandy's commune instead.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-04-26 03:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
http://www.manutd.com/
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-04-26 03:44:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the everly brothers
cults are sissy.
biker gang, thats where its at.
no shaving, grooming, job...
tooling around all day on your chopper, scoring drugs,
fighting, and being the centre of attention for fat assed, saggy breasted biker bitches.
so what if they're ugly,
yer too high to notice anyway!
yeehaa!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-04-26 02:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nah, I was co-leader of a cult once for a few years...
... it's actually a lot more trouble than it's worth.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2007-04-25 21:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you eat human blood?
_____________
You freeze it and make blood snow cones.
retard.
Submitted by Realpolitik (user info) at 2007-04-25 20:42:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine would be a cult of personality. Statues of me everywhere, children thought to think of me as the benevolent grandfather figure, an obscenely large "liberation army," routine purges for shits and giggles, and when I die I would be mumified and placed in a building for everyone to come and see; you know, the usual . . .
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-25 16:52:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-04-25 08:46:40 PDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd probably be like the Amish, only much more steampunk. I mean sure we'd still lose to the FBI, but the zepellin and pneumatic harpoon machine guns involved in the showdown would definitely make world news.
----
I'd sign up for that one
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-25 14:14:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-04-25 11:46:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd probably be like the Amish, only much more steampunk. I mean sure we'd still lose to the FBI, but the zepellin and pneumatic harpoon machine guns involved in the showdown would definitely make world news.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-04-25 11:13:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poor old Johnny Ray
Sounded sad upon the radio
He moved a million hearts in mono
Our mothers cried and sang along and who'd blame them?
Now you're grown, so grown, now I must say more than ever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
And we can sing just like our fathers ....
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress, my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty ......
Ah, come on Eileen!
(Come on Eileen!)
(Come on Eileen!)
These people round here wear beaten down eyes
Sunk in smoke dried faces
They're so resigned to what their fate is
But not us, no not us
We are far too young and clever
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
Eileen, I'll sing this tune forever
Come on, Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress .... Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah, come on! Come on Eileen!!!
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Come on, Eileen, taloora aye
Go toora loora toora loo rye aye
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
With you in that dress, my thoughts I confess
Verge on dirty ......
Ah, come on Eileen!
Come on, Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
Ah come on, let's take off everything
That pretty red dress .... Eileen (tell him yes)
Ah, come on! Come on Eileen!!!
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
Come on Eileen! Well, I swear (what he means)
At this moment, you mean everything
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-04-25 11:12:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My cult would worship Dexy's Midnight Runners.
I would be "Fearless Leader" and we would spend all of our time listening to Come on Eileen while doing coke and drinking Bailey's.
As for suicide, I suppose the diet of coke and Bailey's will probably take care of that.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/99703 . Its a greasy shithole
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:29:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Waffle house? A house made of waffles? does it come with ice-cream? If so, this is my new favourite cult.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
LA DA DA-DA
(la da da-da)
LA DA DA-DA
(la da da-da)
LA DA-LA LA DA-LA LA DA-LA LAAAA
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:25:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 3 steps ahead of you, sugar-tits. I've already got an underground following of Waffle House diners. We baptize in Crisco.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:21:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First International Cult of Go-Fuck-Yourself
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:11:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can't think of one right now but this is a good idea for a post.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:09:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm already living the dream.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98810
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:08:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cultural solidarity is forcing me to give this a positive rating.
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:04:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I may force all of my cult to read your posts.
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Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you eat human blood?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hahahahahahhaha at those two
still couldn't save this post
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a common trend I notice with GetNakeddd - he has a very certain chip on his shoulder regarding women.
GN - why do you seem to negatively rate female posters?
Repressed anger much?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Fuck the human blood questions people. WHAT ARE THESE GROUP SEXUALS?
Submitted by TuTs (user info) at 2007-04-25 10:01:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I may force all of my cult to read your posts.
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So your cult basically worships me? ;)
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Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you eat human blood?
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Same way you eat black pudding.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:59:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I may force all of my cult to read your posts.
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Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you eat human blood?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
hahahahahahhaha at those two
still couldn't save this post
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98810
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Cult: JimiJim
Leader: Bodhezatpha
Practices: Living life based on the combined lives of Jim Morrison and Jimi Hendrix, good music...fast women...and lots of drugs and then we kick it early so as not to face the consequences of our actions.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:47:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I may force all of my cult to read your posts.
Submitted by Zampano (user info) at 2007-04-25 09:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How do you eat human blood?