L@@K! For Sale: 3 Carbon Credits - $60 o.b.o. (696 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.3 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (View user info) at 2007-04-26 15:14:45 EDT
It seems that the hip thing to do nowadays is love mother Earth by reducing the amount of consumable rescources that you, well, comsume. This is supposedly done by driving little, pissy electric cars, taking shallower breaths, and wiping your ass with only one square of toilet paper per squat.
In the interest of saving the planet, I am putting up for sale three(3) carbon credits, barely used, good for, oh, I'll estimate 5 tons of CO2. You do the transfer paperwork. $60 U.S. Dollars gets them.
You may ask, why are you selling such a precious commodity, like my contribution to the environment? Also, you may ask how could I put a price on such a thing?
Here's why: You might not want to let this out from under your hat, but it's all make-believe. That, and I need beer money for this weekend.
So, you give me $60, and I'll send you a 8.5" x 11" certificate, hand printed on recycled (you chumps like that word) white bond paper, good wherever this stuff actually has some shred of credibility, like a Phish concert, or Hollywood.
No international inquiries please. Cash only. I will not accept granola, pot, Dead bootlegs, or veggie burritos as payment.
Offer not valid in Vermont.
User Reviews
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2007-04-27 02:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm charging the Liberal Party of Canada $600 per emission credit. You ripped yourself off.
Plus I promised I'd rig the next election in their favour and have Harper imprisoned for crimes against the universe.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-04-26 21:40:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My 200th review. Have a +2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-04-26 19:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-26 19:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Scourge, we started the Saturday before opening day. I'll spam it at you next season.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-04-26 17:54:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I want a veggie burrito.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-04-26 17:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you've been harping about global warming like a fuckign baby.
did stabkill hijakc ur user?
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob, I missed this ---> http://www.ubersite.com/m/99438 the first time around...
Did it ever get off the ground? Is it too late to participate?
___________
Oh, it's off the ground alright.
And I'm DOMINATING.
Also, BOB, I just bought 3 of these credits from Al Gore at $60 EACH. Dat nigga ripped me off.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:27:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always take pot.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-26 16:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bob, I missed this ---> http://www.ubersite.com/m/99438 the first time around...
Did it ever get off the ground? Is it too late to participate?
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:37:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't over-plan your escape. That way it makes it all look less accidental in the event that you get caught.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still have my screen saver with screen shots of various spreadsheets. I could set the energy setting on my computer to go off at 5:30, but I really need a Christmas light timer for my lights. I wonder if there is an mp3 out there that sounds like someone typing on a computer in case someone has really good hearing.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i dunno, man, veggie burritos are pretty good
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
loki: just go home. The day is mostly over. Just leave the light on in your office, and by the time that they figure out that you left, the day will be over.
ajannsen: Sounds good, but MY mom is cooking Stove Top for supper.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Id club a baby seal and deep fry a spotted owl in crude oil for supper for $60.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Business Objects just locked up on me. I'm pretty sure this means that GOD wants me to leave early today.
We had a Clear Air Event today in the lobby. One of the clean air people tried to get me to sign up for a car pool list. Hey I love clean air and all but fuck if I want some deadbeat who can't afford a car hanging around my house every morning while I race around in circles trying to get my shit together. I went with the standard, "gosh I would love to car pool to work but I never know what time I'm actually leaving. I don't think you're going to find someone willing to come in roughly at 8:30 or so depending on my mood and leave somewhere between 4 and 8:00 depending on what I have going on and whether or not Business Objects decides to act like a little bitch."
ALL I WANT IS A PEPSI, AND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME! ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI, JUST ONE PEPSI, AND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME. JUST A PEPSI.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:22:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Our Governator is leading the way in destroying our country!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:19:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It means shut the hell up unless you're interested in giving me $60.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:18:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making fun of people that don't want to destroy the planet. What a bunch of pussies.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-04-26 15:17:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What the F@@K does L AT AT K mean?