Dramatized version of one of the most offensive things ever to come out of my mouth... (443 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.6 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by garudave <misterkick.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2007-05-03 23:15:03 EDT
Late night at Denny's with three of his favorite people, Dave contemplates reality and the acquisition of the first trade paperback of The Invisibles, which he had borrowed minutes before from another one of his favorite people. His woman starts to talk about "Dumplings", a Japanese movie about eating aborted children, and hence the conversation drifted towards morbidities and absurdities involving the slaying of fetuses.
A particularly bothersome story comes up, about a teenage girl who got pregnant and didn't want the baby but was too cheap to get an abortion. She continued her wild lifestyle, smoking weed and cigarettes and drinking, even though new life grew within her... and to top it off, she punched herself in the stomach and allowed others to (who the fuck else would?). However, the disturbing part is that the story doesn't have an ending; she is in her eighth month of pregnancy. A live birth would either result in the baby being born retarded and with many health issues and deformities... or it would indicate the rebirth of Thor, for only a baby destined to fight in Ragnarok would survive such gross injustices (emphasis on gross). Only in Michigan, Dave thinks to himself.
While on the subject of punching pregnant women, Dave's friend chimes in. One of his relatives got pregnant years before, and ended up getting in a melee with another of his relatives. The unpregnant one kicked the pregnant one in the stomach, knocking her back into a bathtub.
Dave snickers, a moment passes, and he then yells, "THIS - IS - ABORTION!"
...300, what evils thou hast stricken into the hearts of the youth!
User Reviews
Submitted by obscenehaiku (user info) at 2007-05-04 16:04:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I don't know, I guess I was expecting something a bit more offensive.
And entertaining.
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2007-05-04 15:22:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen, I know my life is boring!
And I tend to type more offensive things than I say.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-05-04 11:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Abortion is the sickest thing you've ever said!? - WTF?!
Redneck!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-04 11:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Just plain not-very-good.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2007-05-04 10:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You've got to be kidding. This is "one of the most offensive things ever to come out of your mouth"?!
Where do you live? Utah?
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2007-05-04 00:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:56:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:47:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A live birth would either result in the baby being born retarded and with many health issues and deformities... or it would indicate the rebirth of Thor, for only a baby destined to fight in Ragnarok would survive such gross injustices
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shoulda stopped there.
Submitted by garudave (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Maybe I'm confusing "dramatized" with "dramatic re-enactment" but this didn't seem to be dramatic or visual.
At all.
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You should have been there!
Submitted by Draco (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:31:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your mention of Thor and 300 keep the negative rating at bay...
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:27:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Maybe I'm confusing "dramatized" with "dramatic re-enactment" but this didn't seem to be dramatic or visual.
At all.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-05-03 23:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i have no fucking idea of what to think of this.