I found your Bible (360 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.88 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by InkyFingers (View user info) at 2007-05-08 09:52:00 EDT
I finally found your bible. THe long black sides and stretched oval cover, pink of course. The soft pages dripping with insinuation and dirty warfare. It answered many questions. And, in retrospect, I'm proud of how I defended myself. Without clear evidence of being attacked I deflected and negated your manipulations for nearly six months. You won of course, I had no plan for being in a relationship except to keep stress out of it. But that was central to your plan. Methodically hurt me, confuse me, isolate me from my friends and seduce me.
I suppose you thought I'd be flattered if I ever found out. You spent so much time and energy on me. That's why, you seemed so sincere when you looked me in the eyes and told me that you were going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. It scared me at the time. It was a month into our relationship and you still barely knew me. Statements like that mean a lot and rarely have much to do with reality. You were watching me closer than I could have imagined. I became the center of a world that you were creating. A blazing star that you would ignite then orbit strategically, basking in the warmth as queen of the universe.
I still have some questions. That I doubt will ever be answered. You have to keep everyone guessing, right? I'm still guessing. But ambiguity does that. I read his other book. Ambiguity has that power.
You seem to enjoy dismantling healthy, confident men. It doesn't take a genious to figure out you have a type. That's why I called your boyfriend to tell him about ... you know. I knew you've been breaking him down for a long time and if I called him he'd listen. He's been trained to listen. For the record, when you take someone's ability to emotionally defend themselves they can't defend themselves against anyone. And, if a person wanted to, they could walk up and ruin him with a well worded truth.
I have to rethink it all, now. FOr a long time I thought your actions were based in feminist doctrine. Had you, before anything started, identified me as the "enemy"? An "enemy" that must be endured as women have been doing for hundreds of years. Your manipulatins were destructive enough to come accross as such, and you seemed so remote from the start that I couldn't understand why you wanted me.
When my family was getting a divorce, with my ribs broken three times, struggling to stay sane, the ab., the ra., did you still think breaking me down was a good idea? When I begged you to let it go did you feel like you were finally breaking through. Was I finally hurt enough to be charmed. I guess I was, I told you I loved you. I had loved other people but I loved you in a way I hadn't since I was 14. My heart was always much larger than my brain then and in loving people there was always the danger of suffocating them.
Well, I guess you warned me. THat morning we went to the Atlanta diner and you seemed sad. What's the matter? I'd asked. "I'm afraid I'm going to suck the life out of you!" You'd said in your sad musical way. It was completely out of character with everything you'd said up to that point and i thought you were remembering some past relatioship gone sour." You knew that, of course. you were reading me like a book at the time. You posted a version of that some event here. I read it, can't find it anymore, but I read it. Impressive memory. And that part about when we started dating and I asked you if you were stalking me. You grinned and said "maybe I am". And you had been. You'd been sneaking around in my periphery for almost a month. I remember the quad, greek row, the cafeteria. Planting yourself in my thoughts.
I have a problem: now that I understand what actually happened, read these last few books (Djuna and Thomas) I'm having trouble hating you. Perhaps you'll take care of that for me. I've certainly cost you some important things since the split (A section of your manipulative tricks, Gunderson, Half of your OU connections) But you still draw inspiration from that time. I guess you earned it, you were somewhat successful and I poured my better parts all accross your life for the last 9 months while you were trying to destroy me. I feel as though this is all coming toa close. I'm burned out on it with marginal interests still to hash out.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-09 13:30:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
IM IN YOUR BIBLE
SMITING YOUR JOOS
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-08 11:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
It was hidden between those stacks of "Swank" and "Monster Cock" magazines
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-05-08 11:04:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
LOL AT DA BLOK OF TAYUXT
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Yes professor, where is the God of Citrus? You are correct. Good Call.
Submitted by FALLEN (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:17:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not to beat a dead horse on the "BLOCK-O-TEXT"
but
*beat*
My head ache came back. And it was just going away, too.
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:08:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus would have used more white space.
*************
As painfully boring as she is, Loki comes through now and again.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:08:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where is my God now?
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, I included line breaks and everything.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And lo, on the 8th day, God created formatting.
Repost with some paragraph breaks and I'll read and rate accordingly.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus would have used more white space.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-05-08 09:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BIG BLOCK OF TEXT
Marge, there's just too much pressure, what with my job, the kids, traffic
snarls, political strife at home and abroad. But I promise you, the second
all of those things go away, we'll have sex.
-- Homer Simpson
Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
where is my God now?
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:06:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn, I included line breaks and everything.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And lo, on the 8th day, God created formatting.
Repost with some paragraph breaks and I'll read and rate accordingly.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-05-08 10:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus would have used more white space.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2007-05-08 09:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
BIG BLOCK OF TEXT