Lurkers can be artistic too... sometimes (323 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Paddles (View user info) at 2007-05-09 18:09:45 EDT
So yeah - this was written when I had some tough emotions raging around in my brain. It's not by any means pretty or particularly groundbreaking, but I figured I'd share it with Uber since my past contributions have been pretty shitty considering the hours of time wasted on this site.
And for God's sake, save the "LOL EMO" remarks and whatnot... I've heard them all before.
~
Don't yet think of leaving, we've only just started.
A lonely ceremony, for the young and broken-hearted.
Haven't you heard? It's the best thing since sliced-fucking-bread,
And three month old propaganda infecting your head.
We are fucking tasteless and falling apart.
My lungs have stopped working, can you give them a start?
Welcome to the gang. Welcome to the gang.
Gather 'round, gather 'round, come watch him hang.
Watch him stop breathing as they cut him in four,
Measure by measure, his life on the floor.
We'll laugh at his pleas, we'll hiss and we'll curse.
We'll tell our young children how he deserved the worst.
Ignore our downward spiral. We must be entertained.
They will be traumatized, but they can be trained.
Swallow down the bile. This is just fucking life.
Don't you know you can't stab someone without blood on your knife?
Oh, I long for the sensations of spring in my mind.
But you just cut it out, you left it behind.
User Reviews
Submitted by LongestPants (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:27:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
lol ur emo
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rhyming is bad.
Explain the sensations more vividly.
Use more metaphors and stay away from cliched phrases.
"Agony & Injustice" can be explained without simply using those terms...
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Thanks for the advice. I don't usually rhyme but when I don't it ends up one big paragraph of muddled emotions, so I tried my hand at a more conventional format for this.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
OK, when?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rhyming is bad.
Explain the sensations more vividly.
Use more metaphors and stay away from cliched phrases.
"Agony & Injustice" can be explained without simply using those terms...
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:22:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you already did....four times. way to lurk :)
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:22:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was about as entertaining as a Sharks power play.
NO FUCKING KIDDING.
Submitted by Paddles (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps: you're not a lurker anymore
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Damn. Does that mean I have to contribute or something?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was about as entertaining as a Sharks power play.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:20:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ps: you're not a lurker anymore
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Who farted?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:16:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The Gheyness is overwhelming.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:15:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'M BLAMING ORGASMATRON FOR THIS!!!
oh, and HAR HAR EMO!! LOLLERZ!
Submitted by camarilla (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:14:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
If you're a lurker, you should know better than to post poety. Emotions don't tend to be uber-friendly.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 username
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
AHAHAHAHHAHA
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-05-09 15:11:41 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL EMO
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:12:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Me likey.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-05-09 18:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
LOL EMO