Lesbian (885 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.33 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <docstar.at.pointless.field.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-16 13:55:03 EDT
I was young when I left home to find my way in the world and I guess a little innocent. My parents had given me a very sheltered existence and I didn't know much about the evils that I was to encounter as I settled into the big city. Pornography, smut, degrading practices. Everyone trying to get an edge in a dog eat dog world.
I went to a bar on my first night in the city. I was lonely and needed people around me and I hoped I might make some friends.
I was sitting quietly on my own when I saw a girl come in. She was really pretty and she was on her own.
I though we could be friends.
I went up to her and asked if I could buy her a drink. No reaction, not even a smile. She barely gave me the time of day. Unperturbed I soldiered on. Perhaps like me she was a little shy.
Nothing.
I couldn't work out why she wouldn't talk to me.
Never one to beat around the bush I asked her what was the problem.
It was then that she told me she was a lesbian. Like I said, I was young and not really that clued up. I didn't understand what she meant but from the tone of her voice I knew it was bad. I asked her to explain. This is what she said.
"Listen, you seem like a nice kid so I'll tell you exactly what the score is. You see that pretty girl sitting over there at the end of the bar. I would like to go over there and kiss her passionately, gently flicking her tongue with mine. Then I would like to take her by the hand and take her to one of the cubicles in the toilet and slip her dress off. Then I would like to gently kiss her all over starting from her top, slowly working my way down to her breasts, and then lower and lower until I reach the moist....."
"Stop," I shouted. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I ran from the bar, upset, shocked, my mind in a state of turmoil.
I was numb. I couldn't believe what I had heard.
You see, that was the night I realised I must be a lesbian too.
User Reviews
Submitted by Queen (user info) at 2003-07-17 06:56:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hahaha this was cute.
Queen
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2003-07-17 06:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Something must be wrong with me. I didn't find this entertaining or amusing at all.
Submitted by Quartermain (user info) at 2003-07-17 02:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thats an old joke, but its still funny. It's even funnier when you tell it and people have to think about it for about thirty seconds before they laugh.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2003-07-17 00:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha.
Submitted by Crash3087 (user info) at 2003-07-16 23:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Pics+DivX plz
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-16 19:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lezzah, please.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-07-16 16:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have a little lesbian in me... her name is Bernice!
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-07-16 15:07:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Awa an wheesht min, yir haiverin
sincerely
wee Jock McSprock
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-07-16 15:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, you should have said "Well, if you want to so badly, why don't you go do it right now. I'll watch and give you pointers."
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:54:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess that's a good thing...?
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:45:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao.
if i was in that situation, i dont think i could muster anything to come out my vocal cords other than: "wow"
and maybe "hey you know... 3's company"
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Haha. Thats a cool story.
Submitted by lucid (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There's nothing sexier than the thought of two bull dykes getting naked in a bathroom stall and licking eachother all over while straddling the toilet.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is going to excite the uberboys.
+2 cause I don't want to ruin your average
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a lesbian.
My girlfriend's a fucking faggot.
Submitted by Acarnis (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:08:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How old were you? Why'd you leave home?
Submitted by Blitzen (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
in some small way, i think everyone has a little lesbian in them
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-07-16 14:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!