Rethinking the Rethought (585 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.66 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Brandon Fabish <brandino_the_great.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-17 15:24:28 EDT
For a while it wasn't so bad. This all began after the end. It was the end of something old, and the beginning of something new. It is one of those things that seem so little to everyone else, and also to your own self at times. Any other time, it seems like the world to you. No matter how hard you try not to think about it, it's in your mind, at least once a day. You wake up, and it's the first thought that pops into your head. You go to sleep, and it's what you dream about.
Unreal perceptions in the mind run rampant with hope. If you aren't thinking about it during sleep, then it's when you're at work. It's when you should be thinking about other things. It's always the wrong times to start thinking about it, but you just can't stop. Trapped in this little void of your mind is the unknown of what should be. You look for every chance to let it escape, and when it comes you hold it back. Releasing this would bring so much comfort after it was all over, but you hold it in.
Constantly you wonder how it will be accepted. You can do anything to keep your mind off of it, but this is what drives you. This unknown sense of security. You would do anything to protect it, and at times so little to have it. You know how easy it should be, if you could just get it out; if you could just find the right time to let it spill. And finally this is when things start to surface, but you know they shouldn't. This is when certain circumstances occur, and you go with the flow, beyond your every objection.
Kissing every word that leaves the lips. So much emotion is poured into every word and it just doesn't seem right. You go on for decaded minutes as time passes slower and slower. Your mind is racing with every thought and knowing you should hold back, you go onward. Speaking not only of previous times, but also of the possibility of a future that may be seen. These things shouldn't be held in for so long but it's been nearly half a year. You find yourself feeling nothing but emptiness afterwards.
Mirrored in your mind is what is right and what is wrong. You're mind still can't conceive what is going on, or what will happen next. Things shouldn't be this way, but you realize you cannot change them. You no longer have the power, because now you've got nothing to hide. You left everything out for her to take in, and you feel as though you've lost whatever you had. Maybe if I'd waited things would have been different, but probably not. A million different times I went over how it would go, and how it would end, and the last part just isn't right.
Erupting the only thought that ever plagued me for so long. She knows how I feel about her. She knows how badly I wish to have her back, and yet she refuses. I knew her needs weren't mine at the time. I fucked it up again. I now feel nothing.
User Reviews
Submitted by I_Have_a_Kristen_Fetish (user info) at 2004-03-20 06:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by yes at 2003-07-17 19:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
take the advice of the greatest band ever: 2ge+her... rub one out. HAHAHA, naw man, womenz ain't worth it, don't let them get you down. The only things worthy of this kind of lamentation is the loss balloons or having your high score at the arcade being topped... damn that fucker JTD! DAMN HIM!
Submitted by Fabish (user info) at 2003-07-17 18:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hehe, Mick, you have no idea...
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2003-07-17 17:19:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ah, so that's what's been wrong with the little fella. He misses
casual sex.
-- Homer Simpson
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-07-17 17:02:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
get low
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-07-17 16:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree with turvey, I hate this literary technique, but it was well written Fabish.
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-07-17 16:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Alcohol helps to isolate these thoughts. I think I know what you're talking about.
Submitted by turveytopsy (user info) at 2003-07-17 16:02:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't particularly like this form of writing. I find the prose to be boring and redundant, but at least it was legible.
Nice effort though.
I can relate to the topic and it makes me smile in a bittersweet way.
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-07-17 15:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Pining sucks.
Submitted by es0l (user info) at 2003-07-17 15:33:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice Writing, no matter what the assholes say...
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-07-17 15:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh wow.
i need to go listen to downward spiral now.
wow.
that reminds me of last summer. :-\