Shoot the lights out (34661 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bart Cilfone <uberuser.at.cilfone.com> (View user info) at 2000-07-10 22:13:14 EDT
As always, this story is absolutely true, which is what makes it so funny...
This past weekend I was in St. Louis visiting my girlfriend. On Friday night, we went bowling with my best friend and his fiance. After bowling, we were heading back and decided to stop at a carnival that we happened to be passing on the highway.
We walked around the carnival for a little while and then decided to take a stroll past the area that had all the games. My girlfriend decided that she wanted me to win her a prize, so after surveying the realm of possibilities, I decided upon the break-a-plate game.
In case you haven't seen it, the break-a-plate game is a game where there are a few rows of plates lined up a short distance away, and you are handed two baseballs. The object is to throw the two baseballs and chip a plate with each one. If you chip a plate with each ball, you win a prize ranging from a big stuffed animal to a really big stuffed animal depending on how much you paid to start with.
This particular game was setup in typical carnival fashion, so the plates were about thirty five feet away with all of the stuffed animals hanging on the walls to either side and from the ceiling above. To light the plates, there are a couple of spot lights at the sides and two long flourescent lights well above the top row of plates by at least about five feet. This is important.
Well, I paid my two dollars and took the baseballs. I eyed the stuffed animals to see which one I was mentally going for - I decided on the tiger. I joked with the woman running the game, asking her if it mattered whether I threw a fastball or a curve. She chuckled.
Finally, as time drew itself into slow motion, I wound up, threw the first pitch, and scored a direct hit...
ON THE FLOURESCENT LIGHT!
Loud crash, broken glass flying everywhere. I froze in awe of what a horrible horrible throw I had just made. The woman running the game, with no expression on her face, looked down at the ground and slowly shook her head. The other members of my party at this point are laughing hysterically while I'm waiting for the game operator to pull the shotgun out from behind the wall.
I quickly threw my other ball, hit nothing, then turned to my friends and quietly said, "We have to leave", which we did.
For one brief moment, I knew what it felt like to be Ryan.
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-12-19 17:22:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This sucked.
Submitted by St_Jimmy (user info) at 2006-12-19 17:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
The reviews were more entertaining than the post.
No, wait, sorry.
B@W!!!!
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2004-10-23 21:52:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Something similar happened to me before.
It was the game where you squirt water into a clown's mouth. Someone tickled me and i dropped the gun behind the counter, where I hear a scream as someone gets sprayed with water. It was two carnie-women making out under the counter.
I guess my prize was seeing one of them run off topless in embarassment.
Submitted by Scott_James (user info) at 2004-08-12 01:56:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kobus at 2004-06-20 06:38:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was hilarious. It felt like I was there in person.
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2004-03-26 03:49:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I giggled like a rotten brat.
Submitted by Perplexd (user info) at 2003-12-19 18:42:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Humorous
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-10-06 16:57:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Bart is hated because he has never contributed anything to this website whatsoever in any way.
Submitted by lemonboots <lemonboots.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-10-02 04:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LuCkYe <luckydhall.at.yahoo.com> at 2003-09-03 00:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fUnNy!
Submitted by bargled (user info) at 2003-08-29 18:57:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should have argued with her for a prize, at least you broke SOMETHING.
Submitted by senseiofmattitudev1 (user info) at 2003-08-26 03:46:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow, that's a bad throw.
Why are you so hated, Bart?
Submitted by MOssiah (user info) at 2003-07-30 03:55:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Laughed my ass off.
Now I have no ass. Hope you're happy.
Submitted by john at 2003-01-13 16:08:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
wow. amazing story. and the fact that it's true - it really does make it all that better.
like i said, amazing story.
Submitted by guess who at 2002-02-26 23:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know what's really freaky? Ryan's review, the first one to this submission. Does he ever go by the name "Marvin"?
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2001-12-19 00:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah... the joy of history captured on a web site...
I was just reading this post and noticed the first line:
"This past weekend I was in St. Louis visiting my girlfriend. On Friday night, we went bowling with my best friend and his fiance. "
Nothing too humorous about this except that that girl I mentioned is no longer my girlfriend, and my best friend's fiance became his wife and they are now divorced.
Thank the stars for the wonder that is Ubersite.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2000-07-14 15:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2000-07-14 15:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Random Joe at 2000-07-14 15:42:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ryandonovan (user info) at 2000-07-13 17:07:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
An male acquaintance of mine recently was raped in an alley by another man. The man bent my friend over the hood of an automobile and forcefully and repeatedly penetrated his asshole. I asked my friend what was going through his head as this occured, and he said, "Well, when I wasn't thinking about the pain or the bleeding, I was thinking 'Now I know what it's like to be Bart Cilfone.'"
Submitted by Random Joe at 2000-07-13 00:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment