Out of juice. (7747 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.59 on 187 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by maddox maddox <maddox.at.xmission.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-24 03:08:05 EDT
I'm running out of juice, I'm wondering if anyone can give me any ideas.
-maddox
User Reviews
Submitted by homer42 (user info) at 2007-01-17 13:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://maddox.xmission.com/ubersite.txt
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-10-14 13:05:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I remember this.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-10-14 12:56:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ha
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-09-24 17:57:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i rmember this.
i had no idea who maddox was.....
my version was better :
http://www.ubersite.com/m/32446
Submitted by Malachewaii (user info) at 2005-09-24 17:47:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm running out of patience. Go rape yourself with a fire poker.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-24 17:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
what is it 2003 all over again?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-09-24 17:36:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your website is the best thing for the internet.
ALL HAIL MADDOX!
(And I found this: http://maddox.xmission.com/ubersite.txt ,)
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-09-12 04:16:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Need orange juice
Submitted by Fabit (user info) at 2005-09-12 04:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha why did you even bother? YOu think the fucks who email you are bad? This lot were bound to bitch and whinge.
Good readin for little fabit though!
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-09-11 23:13:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is fucking ghey that we kowtow to him because he's got a famous website. This post sucked and I want my half a minute back.
"wow, maddox, how's the book coming along?"
"wow ur so funney! HAR HAR MADDOX!"
"UR TEH BESTZ0RZ!!!!"
"TOUCH ME WHERE I PEE MADDOX!"
Submitted by KnightsWhoSayNi (user info) at 2005-09-11 22:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So how is the book coming along Maddox? Your website said something about it being released March 06. I seriously cannot wait to read it.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-09-11 20:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Welcome to Uber!
-2DIE
...sorry, couldn't resist.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-18 03:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I know that he hasn't been on Ubersite for more than a year. I did the below comment in the format with which I would approach a grave.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2005-08-18 03:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's actually kind of weird that, over all the time (a lot of time) I've been reading your site, I feel like I know you personally. Which isn't good. I have a problem.
Submitted by Maganya (user info) at 2005-07-29 02:13:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Good job.
Submitted by chillboy (user info) at 2005-07-29 01:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 if it's really Maddox......now we need Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka with his bodyguard/lawyer Leonard "J." Crabs to stop on by. For those who might have no clue who they are....
http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=88
Submitted by NetProphet (user info) at 2005-07-29 00:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I know... the place is a total mess. Say, can I invite you guys up for some juice?
*tears off an arm and drinks the succulent liquid inside*
Mmm... juice.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2005-07-28 23:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG TEH MADDOX
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-16 03:26:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, it was his first reply on this post too...
I'll just shut up now.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-06-16 03:23:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no. its him.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-06-16 03:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://maddox.xmission.com/ubersite.txt
Has anyone seen that before? Is this possible to create if he wasn't actually Maddox?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-06-15 14:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahha
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-06-02 03:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-09 23:25:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-06-01 11:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My compliments to Maddox.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-06-01 10:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hi
Submitted by Or_ (user info) at 2005-05-24 04:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have hereby rated a post written by Maddox! I.. I don't know what to say. This has never happened to me before..
Thanks everyone! This has been great.
Rate the post and not the poster... starting... Now!
Submitted by The_Fan (user info) at 2005-05-21 20:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox has and always will kick ass. I'm not gay, but if I had to fuck a guy, I mean if my life totally depended on it, it would be Maddox.
Submitted by ToxicNarcotic (user info) at 2005-04-13 13:28:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Maddox has gone so far downhill. He used to be funny ;now he sucks.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-10 03:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox's site is great.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-09 23:25:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Submitted by Bizdorph (user info) at 2005-01-20 12:25:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:25:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
That reminds me of how much I can't stand Radiohead. Everyone thinks I like them for some reason. I spent about two hours giving my friends shit about going to the Radiohead concert tonight.
_______________
Oh god...I'm so disappointed. WHat about them can you not stand?
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2004-11-22 05:47:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
for all of you tards who keep taking him seriously
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:43:49 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I'm going to single out some random forum to take inspiration from because I'm out of ideas. C'mon man, do I have to spell it out for you? I was being sarcastic.
I'm posting here now because I received another email tonight from an ubersite user, and I check this forum from time to time (I first saw it from Bart's boredatwork site, which I've been linking to for several years now).
I generally hate forums, but ubersite is better than most I've read online. There seem to be a lot of threads on this site with people who refer to me, so I thought I'd stop by. I do read what people are saying in forums from time to time.
Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2004-07-17 05:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I can see why he doesn't come back here every so often.
Read the date, bitches. Jeez!
Submitted by Kent_Weirdo (user info) at 2004-07-17 05:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How shameful.
Whenever I run out of ideas for my stories, I sit down in a quiet place and I have a beer. It relaxes me, and when I'm relaxed enough, I can usually sort through the lot of my problems, whatever the fuck they may be.
But I don't go elsewhere and try to suck ideas from people where my followers (none, but still) wouldn't think to look. If you want some fuckin' ideas from other people, why don't you just post a section on your site for reader requests, instead of saying "don't email me" there, and pussy-footing over here to ask us?
I thought you had balls. Big balls.
Submitted by dreadnaught_X (user info) at 2004-07-15 00:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I remember how you would sometimes write a wacky story that would just kick some ass. Like the one about making your girlfriend change your oil, or the one with the zombie pit. You need to write another crazy story.
Submitted by UDX <udx.at.hotmail.com> at 2004-07-15 00:09:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I found one of your old rants that you made involving your favorite video games.
I know this is late, but if you want, you can go ahead and finish it, and maybe add in some games from the current generation that you think didn't suck.(Ex: Ikaruga)
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2004-07-13 14:20:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Heh. He really ought to come back every so often.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2004-05-12 18:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You look jewish.
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-05-12 01:23:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit.
Article was posted nearly 10 months ago, boy am I sure glad I noticed THAT before responding..
Submitted by Disektor (user info) at 2004-05-12 01:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In response to the article regarding april fools I sent you an email to which I never recieved a reply.
Simply stated, I suggested you really should post links to animal porn.
If thats not an option I wouldn't mind seeing more movie reviews, those are always fun to read.
Belitting people who wrote you hate mail.. also good.
That's pretty much all I have. Most things people seem to find funny seem to revolve around race issues, an area you have chosen not to dwell into. All else I can think of is to just write more about the things that happen in real life, put a funny twist into situations the general public can relate to.
Hopefully you find some renewed inspiration, your site is always good for a laugh, and I hope it can keep being that way.
Submitted by Spiral_Abraxis (user info) at 2004-05-11 23:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Was that really Maddox?
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2004-05-11 23:39:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seb- i think he answers that on the webpage.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:25:48 (#)
Ranking: 0
That reminds me of how much I can't stand Radiohead. Everyone thinks I like them for some reason. I spent about two hours giving my friends shit about going to the Radiohead concert tonight.
-------------------
The image of maddox, pacing back and forth waving his arms in the air, yelling (and perhaps a little drunk) about Radiohead to a group of about 4 or 5 friends seated on a couch looking up at him was one of the funniest things I've read at this site.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2004-04-21 12:26:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i cannot express how much your webiste has made me laugh. pure genious.
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2004-04-06 07:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, it's a high probability that he won't come back, but has nobody else ever asked themselves:
"Why call yourself Maddox?"
seb
Submitted by Jeriko2k3 (user info) at 2004-03-05 03:27:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox rules
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2004-02-04 12:15:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I sent you an e-mail! Wee!
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-09-28 03:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bwahahahahahahaha
read all the replies to this thread hahaha.. ahhh my god. hidden man.. what the fuck.
Submitted by PeopleAreStrange (user info) at 2003-08-13 21:55:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this thread.
HOW COULD I FUCKING MISS THIS THREAD???!!! ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Bollocks to it all.
The Real Maddox, your site has made me laugh more than any other website I've ever visited. Keep it going.
Can I suck your cock (when Drink_ddt is finished?).
I like sloppy seconds.
Cheers
PAS
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-07-29 19:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This motherfucker has written 15 words and he already has more hits than me. *sigh* I wonder what a Beretta tastes like? I guess its time to find out.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-07-29 19:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just took a shit. But....Maddox is good too.
Submitted by virgil (user info) at 2003-07-29 18:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Although at first I thought, hey, cool, Maddox is on one of the threads, I think it's probably sort of a good thing that he isn't really a 'regular' poster... too many people would either spend the entire time:
(1) posting suggestions... ('hey, why don't you make fun of the mormons? -He put the answer to that in his FAQ.)
(2) being awed and saying how they love the site
(3) baiting him \ saying how he's 'not that funny' or much less articulate statements
And as much as I like the idea of him popping up now and again, especially since his posts seem well-thought out, I think that it's best that I don't see many, if any posts by him using that name... I think every thread would get hijacked.
Submitted by Manfre (user info) at 2003-07-28 13:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to read your site at work... Would laugh so hard and almost piss my pants...
Then I got caught and started surfing here instead. I save the pants pissing for at home. Least I have a change of clothes there...
I actually figured you had to have surfed here being that I got ubersite off your site... Well not directly but through boredatwork.com
Actually got confused and didnt realize this was a message board... Thought it was more of a tardblog kinda thing. First stuff I read was from Catscradle (her CA post was my first read cause Im from CA and wanted to read it) and then Hidden was second I think...
Maddox always has funny shit to write about. Even the shit he rips into that I liked (I used to watch Full House like it was my job when I was younger) makes me laugh. The people that get offended are stupid as hell. Its just funny shit.
Im not rating this a 2 cause I aint sucking your dick and I refuse to give it anything less than a 1 because your shits just out and out funny as hell.
Childrens art work should be done more though cause I laughed the hardest at that and its what I usually send people when they never heard of you.
Just keep up the good work.
Submitted by TheMan (user info) at 2003-07-28 12:37:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
On this topic, allow me to quote the immortal words of a band of epic proportions. They be the words of Anthrax, in a little number entitled Milk (Ode to Billy).
[Verse 1]
I woke up, can't wait to eat
Got my cereal by was I beat
Opened the fridge and to my dismay
There was no milk, my mother will pay
I want some milk ! My coffee grows cold
I want some milk ! I should've been told
Bridge I wish I had some Goddamn milk
Too bad the milkman never came
[Verse 2]
I can't go, out to the store
I'll just wait 'till mommy buys more
I'll just have wheat thins and beer
If I get sick the toilet is near
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
[Chorus]
Thank you and goodnight.
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-07-28 12:23:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
seems like people are talking to themselves here.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-07-28 12:04:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You shutup, assface.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-07-28 12:04:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You shutup, assface.
Submitted by unagi (user info) at 2003-07-27 19:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do homeless people have pets? Why keep an animal if you can't even buy yourself a fucking 40?
Why can't you be self-loathing for once? Just a whole rant about how much you really suck, and how all those maddox-loving losers out there are just sheep... fucking gullible, impressionable sheep. Because really, it's so pathetic how so many people can think putting the label "extreme" on products is just ridiculous, but since the great almighty Maddox's rant concurs with your opinion, your hatred for corporate america (and all who buys this crap only to perpetuate this cycle) is further justified.
A better example: "i hate that reeves superman guy, that fucking frontin' cripple. oooh, maddox hates him, too! well, i've always had that same idea in my head, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, but now that maddox said it.. now /I/ am cool."
Why do fast food restaurants usually have a seperate time for breakfast food? Is it that complicated to serve hash browns one order, and then switch to walking over the french fries fryer for the next? This is fast food, not gourmet cuisine.
I took an online quiz called, "WICH GUMBY CHARACTOR ARE YOU?" The results came out: "Blockhead,your the bad guys who everyone hates, but hey you cant be all bad, or can you?" Speaking of which what the hell was up with Gumby and Pokey? Was there ever some sort of bestiality going on there?
Or you can just tell them to shove it, and that you actually found a girlfriend.
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-07-27 19:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shut the fuck up jwlmar10, you self-centered asshole.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-07-27 17:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, I read your stuff and it's all pretty funny. Don't listen to any whiny bitches that say, "I liked Maddox's old stuff, but everything he writes now sucks." People just say that to look cool. The reality is that those assholes that say that are the same ones reloading your page every 5 minutes to see if you've updated yet.
Anyway, I have an issue to discuss with you. Have you ever used my writing on this site as inspiration? I doubt you are, but if you are I would like to know. The first topic is the Matrix Reloaded of which I wrote an article on this site about. Three days later a similar article appeared on your site. I actually didn't think the two were that similar, but apparently some readers did since I had many dumbasses reply to my post claiming I plagiarized your site. Here's the link:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1053405291345716984
The next article is the one on shitty cars. I did a post that slammed the Honda Element months ago and lately some other uberusers have been making similar posts (I'm not sure if they were before or after your post). Here's the link:
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105132711997212629
In conclusion, I don't care if you use my posts as inspiration for your website. I would like to know though just so that I can finally be sure that every human being on earth emulates me. That's really all I've got. I'm definitely going to look like an ass when you tell me that my posts gave you no inspiration, but whatever.
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-07-27 05:19:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stop talking about me on this thread, you don't have my permission.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-07-27 04:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tuesdaydelay, you're comparing apples and oranges... but anti-sheep.com is just fucking dumb, anyway.
Submitted by Pacifist248 (user info) at 2003-07-27 01:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox, I have always wondered what music you like.
Submitted by EvilZurr (user info) at 2003-07-26 17:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you know... you can buy busses for 500 dollars at auctions... now THAT would be the ultimate SUV/RV. just put some shocks/lifts/offraod tires/hella light on, and then remove some seats and replace em with a generator, a jacuzzi, a couch/tv, and a big beg. that would be the shit
Submitted by nicholas867 (user info) at 2003-07-26 12:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait...can this be the real Maddox? Write about the Dolphin's the government trained to find weapons of mass destruction, that should be worth a laugh.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-07-26 12:23:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't know or care who Dennis Leary (or whoever else you mentioned) is, I'm just saying that DDT's stuff (and his co-writers) seem to just chuck in the word "fucking" in every sentence to attempt to make their girly bitching sound more controversial. Anti-sheep.com wasn't bad though, yet still not upto Maddox standard.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-07-26 11:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about doing one on the dumbass Flat Earth Society?
Submitted by crackergirl (user info) at 2003-07-26 07:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh, apparently he's gone. oh well.
Submitted by crackergirl (user info) at 2003-07-26 07:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow, the real maddox at last. i love your page, you say everything everyone wants to say but doesnt have enough balls to, and even things i'd never thought of saying (the reeve article was fantastic). you have a knack for covering all the bases, leaving any possible arguments obsolete. my one complaint is that you don't post enough. oh well, obviously you don't have enough time. keep it up, the pictures rock.
man, i hate old people and kids. thanks for your articles on that.
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-07-26 04:41:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think he's gone now guys. Move along, nothing to see here.
Submitted by Strung (user info) at 2003-07-26 03:23:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No, I have. I've read all maddox's pages and I took that statement (or one similar to it) into consideration when I posted.
My point is, if you ever watch denis leary, he just seems very insincere, like after all these years of doing the same thing people expect him to be mr. asshole, and he tries to play into their hands. Maddox, though viewing him is an entirely different scenario (reading a webpage as opposed to watching someone perform on tv) seems like he really is more of an asshole, even if he doesn't act it. I don't say asshole as a bad thing, not that i think he'd take it what way, but people tend to try and disect everything you say on these forums. I've been typing too long.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-07-26 01:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"denis leary tries to act like an asshole because it's all part if his act. maddox is much more genuine."
I'm taking it you didn't see the part on Maddox's website where he said something to the effect of him being generally well-behaved in "real life."
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-07-26 00:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
like fuck, how attached can you be to a guy on a website? he writes cool shit, but he isn't jesus.
Submitted by K.M (user info) at 2003-07-26 00:06:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ddt was pretty right on there.
Submitted by korthrun (user info) at 2003-07-25 22:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do an article about terms like "out of juice". What the fuck is that all about. Out of juice? Goto the store.
Submitted by Strung (user info) at 2003-07-25 22:27:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm commenting on a post someone made on how drink_ddt is like monty python.
Monty python was literate.
In all honesty, I've been entertained by a few of his pages, but most of the, are just...bad...
And the relation between maddox and denis leary...denis leary tries to act like an asshole because it's all part if his act. maddox is much more genuine.
Submitted by Really_God (user info) at 2003-07-25 21:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Nah, hes still got it. That X-treme bannana was funny as hell. Now all he needs is to make fun of MTV some more.. God what kind of idiots sit and watch other people sitting and talking to each other. By destroying MTV we can do mankind and the American IQ level a huge favor, but seeing as to how Osama still hasnt gotten enough planes to take down MTV the next best thing is having Maddox mock it, so I say go for it
Submitted by DarthFaded (user info) at 2003-07-25 16:36:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Lay in to that afterbirth of a vehicle the Aztec...
That thing is SOFA KING ugly I dont understand why it was created.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2003-07-25 16:21:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And how, exactly, is Drink_DDT's page a Maddox rip-off? The main element of drink-ddt.com is not rabid fury, but insanity and incoherence. Maddox is like Dennis Leary, but Drink DDT is like Monty Python.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2003-07-25 16:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As I've only recently discovered Maddox and read as much of his material as I've found, I think he's still on the up. I'd say he's easily got another year or two of freshness in his stuff yet. However, although I can see that the DDT site writer is a huge fan of Maddox and feels necessary to emulate his site, I think making it look less like it would be advisable as I was nothing short of disappointed when reading it. There's very few sites I can find on the internet to amuse me of late and I'm confident there must be another Maddox-esque creation out there somewhere. DrinkDDT is a disappointing blatant rip-off with a poor writing style. I suggest suicide for the creator.
www.tuesday.tk - good old fashioned bigotted "humour".
Submitted by GenocideTickles (user info) at 2003-07-25 11:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Required high school reading.
Submitted by DjSilky (user info) at 2003-07-25 11:44:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have sum pimp juice 4 u
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-07-25 10:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Steak and Cheese is what led me to maddox's webpage, a long long time ago
Submitted by Queen (user info) at 2003-07-25 05:54:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MMMMMM Maddox, I get all uber-excited when I think about ya. The REAL Maddox that is >=)~
I loved the Christopher Reeves article. Wish there were more celebs with probs who wanna become heroes, now that they have it.
Sorry no ideas- but I love your work
xoxoxo Queen
Submitted by JohnWilkesBooth (user info) at 2003-07-25 05:36:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why dont you just pull anything out of your ass, make fun of some spelling mistakes, and call it good. People will still praise it, even if it sucks. So what the fuck does it matter anyway?
Submitted by CrazyJoeDevola (user info) at 2003-07-25 01:20:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox, you are awesome. Here are some suggestions on what you should write about:
- Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen and the evil bitches they are.
- a movie review of pirates of the carribean. see if it portrays pirates as the true badasses they really are
- that dumb bitch lizzie maguire and any other stupid 12 year old who thinks he/she's 20
- the greatest candy ever: Zours, the original ones in the yellow bag. not those new shitty ones in the green bag.
- the greatest soda ever: Jones Green Apple soda
Submitted by Kryian (user info) at 2003-07-25 00:18:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
In the spirit of "Ask Maddox Whatever as Long as He is Still Reading the Thread, Until He Gets Fed Up and Stops."
Ever get shit from people when you're just walking down the street?
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-07-24 21:23:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do some more movie reviews, you havn't done any in a long time!
BTW, the toilet is a great place to think up or think about stuff. What else is there to do while taking a crap?
Submitted by glam_daddy (user info) at 2003-07-24 20:57:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for all the laughs maddox...
i keep hoping you will put up the maddox as jessica lynch banner i sent you. come on it was good!
anyway your shit is pretty funny.
peace.
Submitted by Arsenal (user info) at 2003-07-24 20:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny thing, I was bored at work and typed in "the best page in the universe" at google and found maddox's page.
Bout 2 days later I typed in "bored at work" in google and found this page.
I was suprised when I saw that maddox posts here.
Two kick ass site. I'd say overall I like barts better though.
Submitted by ColonBowell (user info) at 2003-07-24 19:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just do Spy Kids and get over it.
You do hate Spy Kids, right?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-07-24 19:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
look people, i'm so goddamned drunk right now, i don't know what's going on. maddox, most of the time, when you write a new article, it's been something that's on my mind. that's why i always like your articles. i see "extreme" on a bag of chips, and i'm like "oh, what am i supposed to do; go skydiving while i eat these fucking chips???" you kick ass because you've stuck in there and built your site up, and you can say the things i think about and millions of people read it. it's awesome. i wish i could say how much the pontiac aztec sucks and have a good chunk of my generation read what i had to say about it. (oh god, the aztec sucks. oh wait, my bad, it's the azteK.) you know, i'm gonna stop now. i just got really drunk after work, and i should't be posting if i'm barely able to sit up. and i always ramble about stupid shit when i'm drunk....
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2003-07-24 19:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maddox, feel like hitting harry potter?
Submitted by antluvdog (user info) at 2003-07-24 18:23:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox: do something along the lines of crappy children's artwork.
Anything making fun of some stupid bullshit in the corporate office becomes instantly popular. It's how I found your site in the first place.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2003-07-24 18:21:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That interview was weak
Submitted by jeetkunetony (user info) at 2003-07-24 18:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yup, you got a copy of your interview with that tv show? I missed it.
Submitted by ColonBowell (user info) at 2003-07-24 18:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And Maddox, although I personally don't like Live, they have much more songwriting talent and originality than Metallica. Anyone can copy Motorhead and Judas Priest.
Submitted by ColonBowell (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A metal band that was "pop" in it's techniques, virtues, and methodical "writing-what-the-masses-want" ideas.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:56:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pop metal?
Submitted by ColonBowell (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:51:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Metallica is worthless and was always just the big pop metal band.
They did a few really good songs.
But that's it.
Submitted by Snipa (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:50:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Metallica is the best band ever.
Submitted by ColonBowell (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:45:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love your site Maddox, it is my favorite.
But you're an asshole.
I love your site, I agree with a lot of your views, but you listen to Metallica (who have always been mediocre musicians) and diss bands who can write music, like Radiohead and Deftones.
Why? What's your justification for listening to crap?
And you're not a socialist, I found out on your site. Fuck that, democrat. Sorry, that was harsh.
Submitted by chicagogirl (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I purchased extreme aqua fresh at target yesterday. It was fucking extreme. It had a hint of orange yet a minty fresh tingle all at the same time.Extreme Aqua Fresh. Its an enigma, broken into a puzzle and riddled by mystery. True Story.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 17:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The Alexa.com graphs and rankings go on an absolute scale over the entire internet. A site like Yahoo.com is ranked at #1, which means it's the most heavily visited site on the internet. I think Google is something like #5, The Onion is around 1000, and my site is at about 6000.
Submitted by sublime (user info) at 2003-07-24 16:37:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you realize all these replies out of a comment of someone being out of juice....
if anyone else had posted this they would have been flamed to high hell.
I'm giving it a plus 2 anyway, maddox kicks too much ass
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2003-07-24 16:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Am I the only one that is confused by the traffic graph numbers decreasing as they go up?
Funny page Maddox.
-Bus
Submitted by Murphy1844 (user info) at 2003-07-24 15:48:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your shit is pretty cool. The stuff you write, that is.
Submitted by jake_plummer (user info) at 2003-07-24 15:36:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for your latest post - ugliest cars.
Submitted by LUXE (user info) at 2003-07-24 15:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How about continuing coverage of the gruesome pics of Saddams crackhead sons. I am really tired of seeing the fucked up pics on every news channel. Am I glad they r dead? Yes... Did I want to see proof? yes..Do I care anymore?.. NO
Or how about Is Jessica Lynch really a national hero? Maybe to someone, but not me. I am sorry she was captured, but giving me a fucking break already.
Just a few random thoughts..
Submitted by audjgirl (user info) at 2003-07-24 14:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i personally think you're awesome. i don't have anything to add to the conversation, mostly because i remember reading your hate mails and how you responded saying basically "why would i write about that band/person/etc" so let me just say i love your page and look forward to the new articles. :D
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-07-24 14:47:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We still haven't addressed the real issue here - Maddox is the first step in creating a clone army from my genetic material and frankly I haven't gotten paid a red cent.
Sure, laugh it up now. When the stormtroopers kick in your door and take your kids away, I'll be the one laughing.
Submitted by Strung (user info) at 2003-07-24 14:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not going to respond to what glassccp said, save this:
I've been reading Maddox for about two years, and I figured he still has enough half-way literate fan-mail to go through without having my little blurb of enthusiasm added to the masses. However, I very much enjoy maddox's page, and I wanted to tell him. I'm not really kissing his ass...I think...
The page about Iran was great, and I'll admit there was a part that was a little over my head until I took the time to research it. Though the latest page was just so-so, i still agreed with what he had to write.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-24 14:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You forgot this one: HAHAHA Look it's not that your stuff is not funny, really it is but why is it that every single time someone goes on a rant about something that heaven forbid you mention somewhere in the tomes that is xmision, I have to hear about how it's a Maddox rip? My issue entirely, not yours. It does keep me from going postal from time to time.
**I agree with Street on this. Hidden is not ripping of this Maddox character. His stuff is funny the first time you see it, but get over it he's not Morpheus. Hidden is always like this which is why we all read his posts.
Don't most things lose their edge when they go mainstream?
oh jesus fucking christ someone is violating the sacred thou shalt not eat fucking food in the cubes law. I'm gonna be sick. I hate alcohol hate it. Firewater BAD weed GOOD.**
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1052516290224825517#44248
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 13:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The "Would You Like to Bomb Iran?" piece went over a lot of people's heads. That's why I don't post things like that very often.
For example, people email me all the time saying "HEY IDIOT, DON'T YOU MEAN 'WOULD YOU LIKE TO BOMB IRAQ?' WE'RE AT WAR WITH IRAQ, NOT IRAN LOL!!!1"
The article was in reference to these:
http://www.sundayherald.com/27572
http://www.inmotionmagazine.com/time.html
http://www.commondreams.org/views02/1009-05.htm
Submitted by glasscpp (user info) at 2003-07-24 13:46:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
ARGH - you people are simply pathetic!!! Why the hell do you praise someone who only voices an opinion? Seriously here folks, yeah the articles are funny but come on learn to voice your own opinion!
"Strung:
You kick ass"
- OK WE CAN STOP THE PRAISING ANYTIME NOW...
"DavidAdventurer:
Um, sorry I declared you dead, man"
- PATHETIC
"tartpumper:
Sorry! I will stop giving you shit now"
- DON'T SAY YOU'RE SORRY, YOU SAID WHAT WAS ON YOUR MIND GIVE IT UP
"iddqd:
i just replied to you on my post, maddox.
i was saying that id like to start in on eating that foot, now.
and id prefer a beer to wash it down with, instead... "
- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ABOUT?
"drink_DDT:
Like OMG its the real MADDOX. CAN I SUCK YOUR COCK?! "
- THIS IS GOT TO BE SARCAISM, NO ONE CAN PRAISE SOMEONE LIKE THIS!
and to the "The_Real_Maddox", maybe you should write bout people who kiss asses!
cheers,
glass
Submitted by Strung (user info) at 2003-07-24 13:40:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Maddox-
I know what kind of people you're talking about. After typing your name into the search box I've seen numerous threads proclaiming you "dead" whenever you do something not up-to-par with your usual writings. One of them said that your last good entry was "would you like to bomb Iran?", but personally I think your XTREME Marketing page was one of the best in a while.
Also, anyone who has read that page and prefers the "crappy Children's Artwork" is a dumbass. It's a kickass page, but there's plenty of better ones.
You kick ass
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 13:21:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My site really blew up in October 2002 (and in June prior when Don & Mike did a segment on my site). Here is a graph of traffic before and after (according to Alexa.com):
http://maddox.xmission.com/graph_before.png
http://maddox.xmission.com/graph_after.png
The sharp drop in the first graph was when my ISP had to move my site to another server. Since then I've received at least one email per day asking me to do more children's artwork reviews. In fact, I have (for other radio shows).
For a while after the piece became famous, I kind of got bummed thinking that the only thing people wanted to read was more children's artwork (after all, I had quite a large body of work before it). Then I remembered that Don & Mike contacted me before the children's art (because I did the piece for their show), and I have little tolerence these days for "long time fans" of my site who criticize me after having only been with me for a few months. If I receive criticism from these type of people--people who jumped on the "children's artwork" bandwagon, I ban them from my site. I don't mind criticism, but on the other hand, if people don't like what they're reading, then they shouldn't read my site. Period. Banning them is my way of giving them a little nudge in the right direction.
That's the beauty of not having anything to gain from this: I don't need traffic. It's coming out of my pocket, why would I care of more people read my site? I was fine with a few hundred per day, 80,000 also has its benefits (stupid internet pricks and Hollywood phonies who never noticed you before start paying attention), but I don't need it.
As of this writing, I have 36,000+ unread emails, dating back as early as November 2002. It's just impossible to get a grasp on unless I quit my job and do this all day.
I'll stop posting if:
1. I can't afford it.
or
2. It doesn't become fun anymore.
When I post shit like "my balls are huge" or a page dedicated to how much I rule, that's a big "fuck you" to people who hate me, or people in Hollywood who expect me to write funny shit all the time. Hollywood is bullshit, everyone likes to blow smoke up your ass but when it comes to pay or contracts, they clam up. Let's face it: you'll never read anything like this in a professional publication, one that anyone has heard of anyway.
Submitted by johnnyOZ (user info) at 2003-07-24 13:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, drop dead jerkoff
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-07-24 13:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey maddox.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-07-24 11:44:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
****************************************
HERE IS AN IDEA... you work in a cube/ office environment.. Write a post about your typical co-workers you might accouter or something to that regard.. most of us cubbies can relate and have a good laugh...
Submitted by OBEYnelson (user info) at 2003-07-24 11:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally I don't like your articles about war and real issues as much as I like your articles about zombies, and killing old people, replacing moons with robotic monkey heads and hating various celebrities. Thats just me though.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-07-24 11:19:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahaha, i was just skimming through, and i thought you said you were giving your friends shit for going to the Radiohead concert because you wanted to go, too, not because you didn't like them. man, i need to stop speed-reading.
why don't you like Radiohead? (hmmm... next article?) i don't get into them like skitty does, but i like them enough to go to their concert if the tickets are cheap.
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2003-07-24 11:02:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if you wrote an article making fun of radiohead, it would be the first time i disagreed with you.
so i say go for it! lol
i LOVE radiohead.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 10:48:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drinks website is funnier. But he did copy off you:
http://www.drinkddt.com/
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-07-24 10:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nicole,
Right now I'm in florida having the time of my life at Information Systems Administrator shool.
I'm learning and learning some more and I haven't touched a cleaning supply in about 1 1/2 months
now... I feel somewhat human once again. I thought I might have been exaggerating about how bad I
have it on that damn ship but now that I've been invited back to normal life I must say...
That year and a half I just did was the worst year and a half of my life, and the next two I'm going to do there are no doubt going to be the same. It's going to take all of my nerve to go back, but I'm going to do it... suffering only makes you stronger.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2003-07-24 10:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maddox, you need to go get some plastic surgery. You look like my evil clone.
No, seriously, I show people your website, tell them it's me, show them that picture of you flicking off the camera, and they say "Dude, you're an internet celebrity!"
Then I feel the need to break their kneecaps for sounding like the Dell guy.
No, it's actually really creepy. Lots of people rip off your ranting style, but you deserve it for ripping off my genetic code. I claim supremacy because I'm about eight years older than you are.
Oh, and DDT... HAHAHA!
People jock this guy way too much, like he's some kind of demigod. It's a funny site, but I don't see what the big deal is. Honestly if it wasn't for the fact that he's a clone of me created when I was eight years old, I would have read his site all the way through, laughed a bit, and then forgotten about him.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-07-24 10:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FritoLay- what is so hard about this? he put a link on his website, for god's sake. what more do you need? how does someone get to be as stupid as you? i'm trying real hard to understand it. perhaps your mother smoked the drugs while pregnant. or perhaps you suffered severe trauma to the head as a young child. you may even be a product of inbreeding. whatever it is.... wait. wait a minute. why do i care? why am i even replying to this? LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!! YOUR "STUPID" IS RUBBING OFF ON *ME*!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
maddox, most of your articles are goddamn HILARIOUS. the last ones i really laughed hard over was "Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do, and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women." and the one right before it, "Wireless internet may very well destroy our chances of contacting intelligent life." those were pure gold. i don't think you're "losing your juice", and i doubt most everyone else that comes to your site does, either. the people that flip out when you write an article that isn't up to your usual standards sure are some stupid jerk-offs. give the guy a break. he leads a life like most of us here on Ubersite- work, school, significant other, friends/social life. you think he just sits at his computer all day and writes for your enjoyment? he writes for his own enjoyment, as well, as a hobby in his spare time. he's not going to dedicate his life to making you idiots laugh. christ almighty, give the guy a break... he's just a regular guy that just happens to be REALLY funny.
ps- maddox; i have yet to disagree with you. thanks for the laughs.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-07-24 10:15:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And please feel free to tell people to drop me as many hate mails as they can.
Thank you,
thefritolay.at.burntmail.com
Yeah, if this doesn't appear on the site, UberPeople, this guy's a phony, QED.
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-07-24 10:06:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Right, The_Real_Maddox, here's my e-mail address: thefritolay.at.burntmail.com
Post it up on your site, and not on some weak-ass, pipshit, script-generated text files. If you put it up on the actual page, I promise I will apologize completely and wholeheartedly, saying I'm sorry and kissing your ass until I asphyxiate. I promise.
Submitted by Nicole3 (user info) at 2003-07-24 09:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"It's really overwhelming sometimes, especially when thrown on top of having a social life, friends, family and other obligations."
Social life - why does it always seem to be the first to go? 60 hrs/week is insane. They had better be paying you well. I've been able to skip out, only putting in 30-35 hrs/week for the past month or so. Summertime is always slow. Okay, stopping random train of thought.
Derek - Where ya been? Are they still making you clean out the poopers? How long until they ship you out again? You don't seem to post as much when you are in port. Not that I want you to be stuck on a boat in the middle of nowhere without a whore in sight (or at least the kind that put out in exchange for money alone).
Submitted by PopNFresh (user info) at 2003-07-24 09:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Submitted by DavidAdventurer (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:50:52 (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, so you grew out of it last year, and I grew into it last week on a postmodern trip. "
what are you talking about?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2003-07-24 09:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
**a REAL pirate wouldn't be scared** Golden, that's right and David can suck it. Can you write something about whiny European vegans. Jesus David, vegans are so lame the word is not even in my spellchecker. Solent green is made from people.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 09:09:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://maddox.xmission.com/ubersite.txt
Submitted by DavidAdventurer (user info) at 2003-07-24 09:06:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF are you talking about, snack boy?
Submitted by Fritolay (user info) at 2003-07-24 08:51:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oh yay, it's "The_Real_Maddox". Fuck off, and at least attempt to get a life and identity of your own, you stupid, wanking, tit-cunting, flab-banging assmonkey.
Submitted by Sickman (user info) at 2003-07-24 08:19:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The best thing you could write about is : Pirate kicking Radiohead ass!
i cant stand radiohead, the singer sing like a fucking retard on morphine and it's make me puke.
so...
PIRATE VS RADIOHEAD (can be a good movie)
Sickman
are you sick enough?
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2003-07-24 07:39:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Derek- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Maddox- i feel ya on missin' Radiohead. i think what your friends need is a good kick in the balls.
and i swear to fucking god; the idiot that thought he was being serious.... nevermind. i'm hoping everyone else already made it painstakingly obvious that he's a moron.
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2003-07-24 07:21:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm kind of like a pirate since I'm a sailor.
But the man be makin' us shave our beards he does. Says we have to represent the men who came before us... YAAARRR!!! Then they be makin' me clean the shitters. I lives in Japan so sometimes we get into fights with the ninja's, and those sneaky bastards can't drink for shit I tells ya. Be a long while for one of those skinny fuckers puts me under the table, YARRRRR!!!
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 07:07:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Furries? As in those people who dress up in costumes and fuck?
Submitted by cea (user info) at 2003-07-24 07:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whtevr, stone colds a pirate-nijna posuer, lololol
Uh, anyway, why don't you try raggin' on "furries"? They're not being ashamed enough.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:57:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It doesnt matter coz Stone Cold Steve Austin would kick pirates and ninjas arses.
Wouldnt you Mick?
Submitted by DavidAdventurer (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:50:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK, so you grew out of it last year, and I grew into it last week on a postmodern trip.
Submitted by PopNFresh (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:45:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
People are still talking about pirates vs ninjas
You are very sad
I talked about stuff like that when i was 10
Submitted by DavidAdventurer (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For the last time, ninjas kick pirate arse. http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1058379880126218477
Submitted by drink_DDT (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:16:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Like OMG its the real MADDOX. CAN I SUCK YOUR COCK?!
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i gotta agree with him on the whole ninja score...
i also have to say that the dr seuss tribute was arguably the finest thing that ive ever seen on the web. except for the star wars kid. and porn. (well, not so much porn anymore)
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 06:04:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The realultimatepower.net guy is pretty cool, despite his misguided hate towards pirates. We keep in touch every now and then.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
though i disagree with most others, i think your older articles suck compared to your later ones.
the writing style on the old ones just looks like some little kid.
by the way, did you have anything to do with realultimatepower.com? i may sounfd like an idiot asking this, but i dont know, and the writing styles are very similar...
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i just replied to you on my post, maddox.
i was saying that id like to start in on eating that foot, now.
and id prefer a beer to wash it down with, instead...
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ahhh I dont know what it is but you look like you like Radiohead! Sorry! I will stop giving you shit now. Write a funny article about Radiohead
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That reminds me of how much I can't stand Radiohead. Everyone thinks I like them for some reason. I spent about two hours giving my friends shit about going to the Radiohead concert tonight.
Submitted by DavidAdventurer (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:23:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
stop whining about whining.
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://maddox.xmission.com/grill.html
Thats the best thing you have ever written. Dont whine so much though, it makes you sound as though you cry at night listening to Radiohead in the dark
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I saw that thread. Criticism kicks ass.
Submitted by DavidAdventurer (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:12:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, sorry I declared you dead, man. http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105890640883630206
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
DEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!! *foam* *foam*
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:05:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I see. I figured that you were either jack-mormon or not willing to shit where you eat. I did enjoy the article about the viagra ads at the olympics, though. I'm not sure of the title but my favorite article is 'if you love your kids beat them' something like that anyway. I printed it up and had my kids read it. They are both smart-asses like me so now when I get mad they feign terror and ask if I'm mad enough to give them 5 across the eyes or the dragon kick. Good times.
Michelle
Submitted by tartpumper (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Maddox, 50% of the stuff you write is excellent, but the rest you of it makes you sound like a whiney old wrinkly grandma with piles. +2 still though
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 05:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
We have a surprisingly great friendship considering we never met before. I'm guessing its because we're alot alike, you know?
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:58:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nolan: because I know the way you talk, and I don't know many other people who would register my nick. heh
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maddox you haven't answered my question. How did you know I was Nolan?
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:56:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't touch religion/mormons because it's just too overdone. The mormon thing wouldn't fly either since a lot of my co-workers who are mormon also read my site. My dad's mormon in fact.
I'm not.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:54:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Surprisingly, so did a lot of cripples who emailed me. I had this one guy email me and tell me about how a drunk driver killed his girlfriend and made him paralyzed. Then his apartment caught on fire and you know what he did? He fucking dragged himself out of the window because nobody came to rescue him. That's so fucking badass, and he even agreed with me on Reeve.
Reeve's a phony.
Submitted by blujnbbyqn (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:52:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You said you don't really need ideas for new articles but I have always wondered why you haven't written one about Mormons.
You have a potential gold mine of material right under your nose there in Salt Lake. The Mormon Church - or as I like to call it here in Idaho; The Mormon Mafia, is pretty damn funny by itself but if you gave it the Maddox treatment it could be hysterical. The whole Mormon thing from beginning to end has got to be the greatest scam in the history of the world. I can't believe you haven't ranted about it more. Maybe since you live there you are afraid for your life, but a REAL pirate wouldn't be scared.
Michelle
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the christopher reeve article.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
good!
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:22:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's the deal:
For the record, I usually have anywhere from 25-40 articles in queue at any given time. For example, one of the newer articles I posted about Christopher Reeve has been in queue for over a year and a half now. Why I decided to post it now was because I saw the South Park episode with Reeve in it, and I thought that they didn't touch on the main reason he needed criticism. They kept having the characters chant the mantra "I'm not even going to touch this one dude," which I thought was a weak way to avoid any real issues coming from the kings of satire. A quick search on google for the key words "christopher reeve asshole" and yielded no results, so that sealed the deal. Someone had to say it, and since it clearly hadn't been said before (according to Google), that someone was me.
I have more than enough to write about, just no time to write it. I work full time (around 60 hours per week), I'm taking 14 credit hours at the University (mathematics), I'm working with producers on some possible writing projects for TV/film, as well as having a girlfriend and a website that generates anywhere from 300-1000 emails per day. It's really overwhelming sometimes, especially when thrown on top of having a social life, friends, family and other obligations.
I'm having a blast with my site otherwise I wouldn't keep posting. It's really a lot of fun, and I'm pleased with all of my recent articles. The feedback I get has also been overwhelmingly positive.
Submitted by jake_plummer (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want to be the first person to give real Maddox a -2. Sorry but had to do it. I rule!
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-07-24 04:12:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I meant it shouldn't be so hard for you
to get new ideas; I didn't realise you were being
sarcastic.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:03:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Random Joe:
"maddox: Don't you get enough ideas from your fanmail?"
What would make you think I get any ideas from my "fanmail," other than to write about how much I hate most of the fan mail I get? Or was that just a jab at me?
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 04:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
don't call him "the great one" , thats why he doesn't come here more often.
Submitted by jake_plummer (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:59:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fake maddox, i think real maddox is busy writing a reply. We must let him work. Give the great one time.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You must be back at work since you're not answering.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
How did you know anyway?
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:50:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your good.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One guess: Nolan?
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maddox, I'm a good friend of yours. Try to guess my name in 3 guesses.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:48:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok then. Anytime you want it, its yours. I never thought you came here anyway so thats why I had the name.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:46:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maddox: nah, don't worry about it. I don't think there will be any confusion, but thanks for the offer. Maybe I'll take you up on it some other time, but I won't have much time to post here. I happen to be particularly bored at work tonight.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
do you want this name maddox? I'll give you the password.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, I'm going to single out some random forum to take inspiration from because I'm out of ideas. C'mon man, do I have to spell it out for you? I was being sarcastic.
I'm posting here now because I received another email tonight from an ubersite user, and I check this forum from time to time (I first saw it from Bart's boredatwork site, which I've been linking to for several years now).
I generally hate forums, but ubersite is better than most I've read online. There seem to be a lot of threads on this site with people who refer to me, so I thought I'd stop by. I do read what people are saying in forums from time to time.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:42:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't listen to Jake, Maddox. He is very selfish. You give people some good stuff and they just want it all! They don't understand you have other things that require your fantastic ideas.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-07-24 03:42:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
maddox: Don't you get enough ideas from your fanmail?
Submitted by jake_plummer (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:40:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, for sure your best stuff was crappy children's artwork. You should do the artwork thing at least once a month. Your how to piss off credit card companies bit was good too. However I must admit, your stuff as of late has totally sucked.
If this is fake. I'm a major dumbass!
10,000 people have read this review.
If you don't like it, you can suck it.
jakeplummer.at.xmission.com
Submitted by Nator (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:38:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is the REAL maddox? Somehow I don't believe.
I read an interview about you in which you said to have a file cabinet full of subjects to talk about, usually ages before you write about them.
AND, IF you were looking for 'new' subjects why would you ask here? You get them all the time in your +9000 email p week delivery.
Submitted by maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:35:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
maddox would you like my name? I'll give you the password.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So Ubersite is not fond of crillic text, eh?
Why don't you fuck with everyone's chi and write about something you like?
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Or IM trolls, I just got this from a Russian Hooker to my ICQ (why I have it, I don't know).
277478523 (5:27 PM) :
Привет с Украины!
I may have a big wang chung, but it won't go from Australia to Russia.
Not since "the incident".
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:30:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Beer - it's not Murph, not while the Pildo is back in action.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Parody yourself.
Submitted by The_Real_Maddox (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:26:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's really me:
http://maddox.xmission.com/ubersite.txt
Submitted by jyrka (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Go get some from shop
Submitted by Beer_bong (user info) at 2003-07-24 03:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Murphy you liar.
Submitted by Random Joe at 2003-07-24 03:12:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
more crappy children's artwork