Italians just conquered the known world. (1010 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 0.6 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Quari Smyt <daglassawasta.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2003-07-25 03:21:43 EDT
I originally was going to write this as a reply to "Italians just want to be popular," but I figured it would be better as it's own post.
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=105906710036125245
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What else is Italy famous for, eh fuckface?
Italy is most famous for this city called Rome.
Rome was established in the 750's BC. According to legend, two brothers who were raised by wolves decided to establish cities in the region of Italy known as Latium. Remus, one of the brothers, decided to taunt the other, Romulus. Romulus was busy erecting walls for his city, when Remus jumped over the wall. Romulus immediately hacked at and killed Remus, and then declared that anyone who dare do the same would also see the same fate. Rome was born.
Romulus established the kingship and the senate. Roma flourished, and after the reign of 7 kings had conquered the penninsula of Italy. Tarquinius Superbus was the final king, who encited a scandal that ended the kingship. Tarquinius' father was murdered, and his body was tossed in the street. Tarquinius and his wife then ran over the body of his father, laughing. The people were outraged, and revolted. The kings were overthrown.
What to do now? The Romans had an idea. They wanted to make their government a "res publica," a thing of the people. The republic was born. The citizens had control, rich and poor.
The city of Rome's greatest threat came about 264 BC. That threat, the city of Carthage. Rome engaged in three wars with Carthage. In the first, Rome and Carthage fought for the island of Sicily. Rome was victorious, and forced Carthage to sign treaties restraining their power.
In the second punic war, Rome again went to war with Carthage around 218 BC. The General Hannibal was sworn to hate Rome by his father who had been defeated in the last war. Hannibal surprised the Romans completely. The Romans expected Hannibal to attack by sea, but Hannibal conquered the Alps with his elephants and armies. The shocked Romans were almost completely defeated. There was no armies left in Rome, she had lost everything at the battle of Cannae. For reasons unknown, Hannibal did not take Rome. This mistake brought him his defeat. Carthage was destroyed in the third punic war, the fertile earth of the city was salted to no longer grow food, the land cursed. No one should mess with Rome.
Rome now had a lot of territory under her control. From Spain to Northern Africa; Greece soon fell as well. But the Republic was not designed to control so much land and so many people. It was easy to take advantage of this corruption. Generals were rich, and paid their troops with large rewards, bringing loyalty to the generals, not to Mother Rome.
One General was excellent, and known fairly well. Gaius Julius Caesar conquered Gaul (France) and won the favor of the people through his speeches and politcal skill. He didn't see his big opportunity till one of the consuls died. At the time, there were three consuls, or executive officers, and hearing of the death, Caesar decided to sieze Rome. The Senate ordered he report to Rome immediately and to keep his troops behind the Rubicon River. He went to Rome, but ignored the order to leave his troops behind. While crossing the Rubicon, he said the legendary phrase,
"Alea iacta est."
The dye is cast.
A civil war insued. Julius Caesar had the Senate at knife point, and they declared him dictator for life. Caesar had complete power, but was not yet an emperor. Infact, he was walking to the Senate to be proclaimed emperor, when a mob of senators stabbed him multiple times.
"Et tu, Brute."
Another Triumvirate was established, part of which was lead by Julius' adopted nephew, Octavian. There was also another civil war. Octavian was the winner, and was offically declared the first emperor of Rome. He was give the name Augustus, or "majestic one."
The Empire grew. Rome conquered from Britain to Egypt, all accessible by paved roads (with exception of the English Channel, you could take a boat). You could send a letter from anywhere in the empire to anywhere in the empire in a few weeks. Relatively fast for the time. Europe has not been as united as it had been under the Empire since. The time was known as the "Pax Romana," or Roman peace. Italy ruled Europe. Most of Rome's emperors were good... with the exception of Nero and Caligula. Crazy guys.
This too had to pass, and it did. The Good Emperors became a thing of the past. Corruption was rampant. During about a one hundred year period, 27 emperors ruled and one of those died a natural death. Inflation was rampant.
A few emperors tried to renew the Empire, but it was already too far down hill. Constantine tried fixing things by moving the capital to Asia Minor, but this did not help. The Western Roman Empire collapsed in 476 AD.
I'm not going to bother explain what happened to the Eastern half, but it didn't fall till the 1400's.
To sum things up, Italy is famous, and not just for the fact that they conquered all of Europe and influence our culture to an immesurable degree. There was also this thing called the Renaissance and these guys like Michelangelo... I'm not going to even start with that. I'm a bit tired now, so I ought to get some sleep.
Italy kicks ass.
User Reviews
Submitted by domenad (user info) at 2004-04-24 14:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Italy kicked a ton of ass back in da day. Unfortunately, the last country Italy conquered was Ethiopia. Silvio Burlusconi, though, is the coolest motherfucker in all of Europe.
+2 for history and Italy.
Submitted by GrawpNHagger (user info) at 2003-07-27 01:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm Italian
Submitted by Cymensen (user info) at 2003-07-25 13:37:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There are many versions of the Romulus and Remus story... but I've never heard the fire story. I think that that is full of shit.
Submitted by jimmy23 <jka23.at.hotmail.om> at 2003-07-25 12:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
that thing with the fire is shit. Romulus and Remus is a much better telling of the story. Of course, it probably didn't happen that way, but hell its a pretty damn old story. I gotta get back to work.
Submitted by IndianOcean (user info) at 2003-07-25 12:39:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gay.. grown men shouldn't dressing up like that.. unless you ready to kill...
**when i say "gay". does not mean i hate gays or anything to that regard. gay just mean it's gay.
Submitted by JohnWilkesBooth (user info) at 2003-07-25 05:10:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
First of all, rome was created durring a lightning storm. The lightning started a fire, which burned for 51 years, and in that time, the massive fire took on a life of its own. At it's peak, the raging fire created itself a whomb, and gave birth to a single child.
That child's name was rome.
God, i wish people would actually bother to learn about history before they post stuff like this... I mean who didnt know that rome was a bastard son of a forest fire?
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-07-25 04:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks... this surprise better leave her happy damnit.
Hmmm, I need more recognition here. I hope I can really piss NoQuarter off and get my own hate post.
Submitted by Cymensen (user info) at 2003-07-25 04:08:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't worry about it man. It's 4 am here, and I'm writing a full length essay on the History of Ancient Rome during summer vacation.
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-07-25 04:06:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
add 1 a.m. to that post below me, only because it should be there.
I wish I was smart at night, I'd go to bed but I have a surprise planned.
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-07-25 04:04:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd give my self a minus two, but that doesn't help the post.
So I'm a dumbass who needn't invlove himself in matters of history and geography.
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-07-25 03:58:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was the roman empire, not the italian empire, Italy did not exist, not yet.
Submitted by Cymensen (user info) at 2003-07-25 03:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if it hadn't beeen for the Italians who established, built and lead the Roman Empire... then how can the Empire not be Italian?
Submitted by Cicciro (user info) at 2003-07-25 03:46:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Funny how the Roman Empire is in no way Italian, except that the locations are similar.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2003-07-25 03:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I have a western civ test tmr and this saved me from having to review my notes