I want to rip off his nuts, fry 'em up really golden-like and make him choke on them (704 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.2 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Alasdair (View user info) at 2007-05-15 08:57:55 EDT
Sure, I'm assuming it was a man who did it.
Women don't typically bother themselves with this sort of mischief.
Yesterday, after a long day of selling training services for everyone's favorite training company here in Atlanta, I got home and prepared to pack myself a nice bowl of kush when I noticed something - a few things were out of place.
- My "Learn to play Harmonica the easy way" book was on the floor.
- My longboard was on it's wheels and not against the wall, as I had left it that morning.
- My brand new X-box 360 had become invisible.
INVISIBLE?
WHO DID THIS? Who, in all of the apartment complex I live in, had the power to make my electronics invisible? Not only was my X-box invisible but so was the ipod I left sitting on the coffee table. Oh, and this same wizard cast the same spell on my FUCKING CD COLLECTION.
*sigh*
I'm trying to make some comical sense of this but it's not helping. You see, I was robbed last night. Some fucking lowlife sonuvabitch had the gall to pry into my residence by way of a two-pane window and steal every electronic device and CD he could fit into his two greedy little arms. Here in Atlanta, burglaries are pretty scant in well-developed areas of the city (Alpharetta, Marietta, Avondale Estates).
I guess however, my day had come.
Now, I will tell you - I have been an anfry jelus bitches in my time but yesterday afternoon when I got home, it was a whole other world. You see, I have a high tolerance for disrespect shown to me by others. I'm in sales - I get told to fuck off all the time.
But when someone has the wherewithal to waltz into my abode and lift shit that doesn't belong to him, all bets are off. This person I would like to see skinned alive and then heaved into a vat of boiling vinegar.
I would smile the whole while and would even sacrifice my beloved X-box to enjoy the spectacle. If you've ever had anything stolen from you, EVER, you know how I feel.
Death to all theives. Period.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2007-05-20 19:55:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That blows big-time.
Alpharetta has changed a lot, though. I don't know if you've been there recently, but it's not as... uh... racially homogeneous as it used to be. I don't really know where I'm going with that, so yeah. Sorry you got robbed.
Submitted by God_Is_My_Mate (user info) at 2007-05-16 18:50:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://ubersite.com/m/95611
---------------
HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-05-16 17:58:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some cocksucker broke into my apartment and cleaned out my cds and my dvds this winter. He literally pounded the door down with a hammer from the third floor fire secape, in plain view and broad daylight, while at was work. I hate this fucking city.
Submitted by Nugk (user info) at 2007-05-16 17:36:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Why the fuck do you think we care?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-16 10:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
-2 for a -2 hey!
You not read the new rules!
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-16 09:18:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I pissed in your mouthwash too.
Submitted by LisaD (user info) at 2007-05-16 08:52:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-05-15 19:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Oathmeal approved post
Submitted by BubbaEarl (user info) at 2007-05-15 16:41:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2007-05-15 06:21:52 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it was karma who robbed you.
hahaha
Submitted by God_Is_My_Mate (user info) at 2007-05-15 16:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaah
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-15 15:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2007-05-15 06:21:52 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it was karma who robbed you.
-----
Don't you mean Karma Dantell Washington Jr.?
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-05-15 14:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You must live near me.
I found someone lurking in my front yard once in the middle of the night. Fled like a little bitch though when yelled at.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-05-15 12:28:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It is a shitty, shitty feeling
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-05-15 12:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
it was me.
i'm jealous of your shitty possessions.
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-05-15 11:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Arent you a douche bag alter that took over this account? Better question, who gives a shit about your personal belongings?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-05-15 11:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Microsoft is for pussies.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-05-15 10:48:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gee I wonder why he didn't take the Harmonica book?
Where were you hwen it happened?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-15 10:45:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's a PS2 game roflolz
Theives are the worst.
I'll lie, cheat, and stab you in the back, but I'll never steal from you. Mamma raiseded me rite!
Condolenses.
Submitted by GaidinCanuck (user info) at 2007-05-15 10:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Death to all thieves. Period."
I agree. That's why I never download illegal music. Now you know how those poor music execs and artists feel. :P
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-15 10:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
God knows you enjoy choking on nuts...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-05-15 10:12:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok not really. That's a damn shame. Theives can go eat a bag of dicks.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-05-15 10:11:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OH NOES NOW HOW WILL YOU PLAY OBLIVION AND MAX OUT YOUR DARK WOOD ELF????
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-05-15 09:58:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2007-05-15 09:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it was karma who robbed you.
-=-=-==-=-=-
bWWAHAAHAHAHA AHA AH AH A HA HAH A HA HA HAHA HA HAHAH HAAHA HA HAHAHHA H HA HA HAH AH AH A HA HAH AH H AH AH A HAH AH AH AH A HAH AH AH AH A HAHAHAHAHAH HHAH AHAHAHHAHAH
P.S. Alasdair/Snag/Oathmeal/etc. etc. etc. is a homo sock.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-15 09:44:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that sucks. sorry, dude.
relevant linkpimp: http://www.ubersite.com/m/78668
you already deuced it once, i forget why, so i'll assume you already read it
:)
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-05-15 09:32:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my car was stolen many years ago.
i had it nine days
sympathy +2
Submitted by Levity (user info) at 2007-05-15 09:21:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe it was karma who robbed you.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-05-15 09:15:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's fucked up, man...
Submitted by snag (user info) at 2007-05-15 08:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
P.S. Sicosemen is a faggot