HateMadness 2: Director/PokeyPecker/EbolaMay/ThatIsMyStapler (1125 hits)
Category: SportsRating: 1.61 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (View user info) at 2007-05-17 12:24:29 EDT
Jesus Christ, you think someone's a tad obsessed with Uber to have four main accounts? Having these accounts on Uber is the most success Director has ever seen throughout his life. Every time he posts more of his emo "my life suxx0rs so hard booohooo" bullshit, I hate him more and more.
Way to perpetuate the cycle by becoming an alcoholic, dipshit. You're an absolute fucking failure at life. Your entire fucking family is chocked full of alcoholics, and your own parents killed your baby sister in a drunken beat fest. Who the fuck does that? In hindsight though, what a lucky bitch she turned out to be, huh? She never had to actually admit to anyone that she was a blood relative of yours.
When The Man threw your faggot ass in jail for DUI, you were oh so stoked when you were moved to a more populated area of the jail, stating that there were "A LOT of guys to talk to". You may tell people you were just ghey for the stay, but we all know better. We all see right through your obsessions with Apollo, posts like http://www.ubersite.com/m/100417, and your constant emo whining about your life. Face the facts: YOU'RE A BUTT PIRATING, FUDGE PACKING, SPHINCTER JOCKEY.
You are one of the stupidest cunts I've ever known to waste air. If there were a government mandated sterilization program, your ugly mug would be on their #1 selling poster. You fell off the roof of your friend's house, breaking your leg, only to go back to the same house and spill deck varnish in your mouth and eyes; way to go, hero. What were you trying to do; relive you time spent as the understudy to that Solomon guy in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle? It's just too bad that you didn't ingest enough of that varnish to kill your dumb ass.
We've all had it bad, but c'mon, you begged for a job on Uber. If you're so hard-up for a job, use your Spanish skills and go sell flowers on an overpass somewhere. With some luck, maybe you'll be hit by and 18-wheeler.
I have to remember that this is Director we're talking about though. He's held such lucrative careers as being a janitor, a used car dealer, and a fast food employee; he can't just have any old job. That pride didn't help you one bit when you got into that car accident and didn't have any car insurance because you had lost your job at McDonald's, did it?
If all that weren't proof enough, you've got to know you're an utter piece of shit when your cat runs out in front of a UPS truck to commit suicide. Have you ever considered the possibility that Maria died simply to escape the agony of her stupid decision to marry you?
Why don't you just jump off a fucking cliff already? You're a hopeless, useless, alcoholic leach on the Michigan state government.
p.s. Just because I'm not completely cold-hearted, I found you a little present to help with the bitter loneliness that your failure of a life is: www.friendsbeyondthewall.com
User Reviews
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-21 12:09:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK..now I expect a knob shine in return.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-05-18 23:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
olde skool hate
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-05-18 23:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2007-05-18 23:04:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
1.5... I mean, it's good and hatey, but his was kind of a masterpiece.
This was good enough that I pray I don't get either of you in the next round.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-05-18 18:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-05-18 17:26:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-18 14:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I got the memo.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-18 14:30:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-18 12:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
HAHAHAHAHA, his retarded girlfriend didn't get the memo about the contest.
what a stupid slore.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-18 12:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by august_sobriquet (user info) at 2007-05-18 09:27:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
well considering that this is regurgitated facts of the dude's life in an uninteresting, unfunny, and uninspired fashion, I've seen better.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-05-18 09:02:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmm, you really don't like the guy.
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-05-18 03:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can almost smell the hate seeping up from my keyboard.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2007-05-18 03:31:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Angel! I'm telling your parents on you!
Good hate.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-05-17 21:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Too many idiotic grammatical mistakes, showing that you are actually a retarded 3 year-old who just happens to have tits, Small ones, but tits, nonetheless.
:-/
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-17 18:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-05-17 18:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 17:36:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I just say....what the fuck?
Hello Ladies,
My name is Terry and I am looking for a very special woman to spoil and romance. When it comes to showing that special woman in my life a good time the sky is the limit. I desire a woman who looks like a woman and carries herself like a woman, but born biologically a boy. The kind of woman that are sometimes featured on the Maury Povich Show where the audience is put to a test to guess is she really a girl or a boy. Yes that's the kind of woman that I am in search of. Not the kind of woman who looks like a man, who sounds like a man and have muscles like a man. I desire a woman who looks soft and have soft features with round curves in all the right places. Yes a nice round butt and breasts that makes you mouth water. Yet still have that special male part that all men were born with.
If you're pretty and think you are that woman I'm looking for then please feel free to write me. You won't be disappointed. I'm a very decent guy who loves spoiling his woman. In addition I am very educated and goal oriented. I have a Bachelor's Degree in Social Science and certificates in Business Management, Refrigeration & Air Conditioning Technology and Commercial Cooking. I love cooking and can cook just about anything from cakes, pies, custards, seafood, Italian food, meats and vegetables. So if you like eating gourmet meals, I can accommodate your ever request.
During my leisure time here I love to read, write poetry, jog and lift weights. I have a fantastic body under my graduation gown in my pictures. So if you like a hard and defined body that looks good enough to eat then look no further. J I want an adventurous and
open-minded woman who likes meeting new and interesting people. Last but not least, I am financially independent and well-off. So I am not in this for financial gain. I am just looking for someone beautiful and sweet at heart who can bring some sunshine into my life. When you write me back I'll tell you more about myself. Any race is welcome to respond. I like all flavors of the human rainbow. Send me a picture of yourself. Yes we are allowed polaroid pictures. Sexy if you will but not totally nude pictures. Can't wait to hear from you. Happiness is only a letter away. J
Sincerely,
-Terry Everett
(I'm thinking you should give this guy a call, Angel.)
Submitted by Nugk (user info) at 2007-05-17 17:33:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarity_Ensues, you know you would join in on the festivities in prison too. Don't hate.
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-05-17 17:12:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo. Best one so far.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-17 16:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-17 16:49:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-17 16:12:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HATE HATE HATE
ROOOAAAAAAAAAAR
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-17 15:49:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good job, baby - way to bring the olde skool hate
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 15:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what hate is supposed to look like.
But yeah, you're definately a "happy tree friends" case If I've ever seen one.
Submitted by consuelo212 (user info) at 2007-05-17 15:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-17 15:20:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gorgeous and meaner than a snake. We were married once, right?
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-05-17 14:58:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
but the typos bugged me more than they probably should have.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2007-05-17 14:57:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's some USDA certified grade A hatred right there. Vicious.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-05-17 14:48:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<learns>
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-05-17 14:19:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
<3 Angel!
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-05-17 14:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can i kick too, now he's on the ground ?
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HATE HATE HATE!!!!
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:48:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
High-quality hate.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh no, god no don't do that I'll be crushed...I'll die....I'll, I'll, I'll
haha...just kidding man, half of the people that knew that name before know its me don't sweat it
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:41:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B, I'm going to drop it like it's hot :)
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:38:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Strike two, below.
==========
?
shivers
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:34:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I knew i liked you for a reason
Submitted by Abbey (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:30:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Got to rate again. This was God damn funny.
Submitted by Abbey (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:27:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(Abbey passes a Valium...)
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Strike two, below.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll give you the +2 because this had all kinds of good hate but really you got a pass on this one because of everyone in this contest, your opponent has the most self degrading shit posted on this site.
well besides oathmeal
oh and sico
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:22:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BAHAHAHAHAH @ BOB
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:18:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BURN.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Drake: Where did you find method's personal ad at?!?!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:12:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
too much 'fuck/fucking/fucker' and not enough personal details.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nevermind the "convicted child molester" tag attatched to his name, he's "REAL".
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
reliable responsible and real.
and in prison.
lol
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*starts slow clap*
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-17 13:03:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that, dear folks, is hate.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey Miss Lady, I hope you're well, and in the state of mind fit for a queen. Friends call me Geeman, G-Baby, or just "G" for short. I'm from NYC Queens, and I'm looking forward to corresponding with a nice mami outside these walls, because a letter from you would be a breath of fresh air ---- Trust me! J
A bit about myself:
I'm very nice, and a lil' naughty, supportive, understanding, and easy going --- But I like to have fun and laugh as well. I like to read, I like movies, and I love kids, 'cause they are a blessing to me. My passion is cooking and I hope to own my own restaurant someday when I get back to society. I love to cook for a woman, but I hope she isn't afraid to enjoy herself in front of a man, 'cause I like a female who like to eat! J I'm very independent, so I don't look for any handouts, and I work for what I want. I enjoy drawing, and I work out when I can. I rate myself "The Three R's" (Reliable, Responsible, and Real). I love to help people, and I pick them up when they are down ---- That's jus' me! I'm a good listener, so in good times or bad I'm that mental shoulder to lean on.
I try not to let things bring me down, and I don't judge people for the bad things they do to others ---- That's for a "Higher" power! I have knowledge of self, and I acknowledge the fact that no one but me is to blame for my situation; I've made bad choices, but I'm using this experience to grow mentally, and accomplish unfinished goals, such as college, various programs, and going back to culinary school when I get out. I'm open minded, and I respect anyone and everyone the same. It would be nice to meet a woman that is open to some friendly conversation, and a few laughs.
I hope that you will take the time and the chance to get to know me. There's nothing wrong with a lil' conversation, and meeting a new friend. J
Sincerely yours,
-"G"
*** Seeks Correspondence with: Female Only ***
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:55:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just wrote Tyrone.
He's all muscle-y. MMMMMMM
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:54:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Try as you might, I still think you're a nice girl at heart. ^_^
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.friendsbeyondthewall.com/
Here's the link that actually works.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:43:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
damn this was good.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:41:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo. Best one so far.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:41:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:35:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This hate is SO good that you should be afraid that he's hiding in your bushes after snapping.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:33:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo. Best one so far.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:32:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahhhh, she pulled out all the stops.
Bravo. Best one so far.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
He IS easy to hate, what, with the whole "pathetic life" thing going for him...and the sweaters.
I can't give you a +2 because I don't want you to get TOO excited.
PS. This would have been a better post with a snatch shot included. YOURS, not a random one.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW! Can we get married? Rub genitalia together?
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-17 12:28:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AWESOME hate.
Well done, Shots for everyone!