Hatemadness: I tried, by I can't hate Forensicgirl! (1321 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.47 on 55 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Crystle (View user info) at 2007-05-17 19:11:58 EDT
Having had the opportunity to interact with Forensicgirl outside the rarified atmosphere of Uber, I was all set with the dirt when she threw down the metaphorical gauntlet and challenged me to an "anfry jelous bicht" off.
I had written quite a scathing tirade about how old, bitter, and skeletal she is; complete with lovely anecdotes (TRUE!) from her past, incidents from her childhood that affected her and made her who she is today.
I deleted it all. Truth is, I can't hate on Forensic.
How can you hate a girl whose parents raised her right? Being from the "Heartland" of America, home values were instilled at a young age. Her mother taught her respect. ('Don't you sass yo daddy like that, girl! Do as he says!') Her father made sure she applied herself at school and brought home good grades. If Forensic came home with a C on test or paper, even at the young age of 10, her daddy would take her behind the woodshed and make sure she knew how important good grades were. He was determined to make sure that she had all she needed for a good life. It was there, behind the old red building that she first learned to use her lips to cover her teeth. As a direct result, her grades were good enough that she graduated well in the top third of her class - of course, she wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but she'd done it!
I, for one, can't help but admire someone who sets goals and holds onto them tenaciously despite the obstacles life has put in her path. After graduating high school, she went away to college, her heart set on a medical career. Of course, I'm using the term "heart" here because it's a common phrase. Poor dear - it isn't her fault that her early recreational activities had not only killed most of her active brain cells, but had also led her down an increasingly twisted path that not only opened the wonderful world of BDSM to her, but also crushed the small part of her humanity that passed as a "heart."
Incidentally, that also wound up being one of her greatest challenges in her pursuit of a medical career. While her study practices from high school took her far in terms of class work, tests, reports, etc, when she was actually faced with live patients, her lack of "bedside manner" was apparent enough that it became known as a "death-side manner." Rather than giving up in tears as most would have, Forensic took this in stride and even used it to her advantage - realizing that no matter how she diced and sliced, the dead would never complain. And so she became the Forensic Analyst we know and fear today instead of the doctor she had originally thought she wanted to be.
Sadly, her ineptitude with people extended beyond the hospital. She had difficulty maintaining a normal relationship, and never married. Ever the optimist, she'll say she doesn't mind, that having children was not really something she ever dreamed of. She knew from experience with her siblings that little bodies can be tricky to dispose of. Actually, getting knocked up has never been something she had to worry about, despite her high level of activity in what her insurance calls "high risk behaviors". She had a period once, in high school, but a constant aversion to food and a life-long addiction to syrup of ipecac has been all the birth control she ever needed. Indeed she takes pride in her 2% body fat, and has worn the Über nick-name of "Skeletor" with pride, thinking it means she has been accepted, finally, somewhere.
Having been through the training required to leave her palace of higher edumacation, Forensic found herself a job with an equal opportunity employer, and knew she was secure, thanks to the Americans With Disabilities Act. Although she was, well, technically not banished, more like "relocated" to the basement, her positive outlook allowed her to find joy in the fact that she could mess around with feces and blood to her hearts content, and still manage to pay her cell phone bill. Oddly enough, she did have a little difficulty figuring out how to pay for the replacement phone - those little keys are hard to deal with when your eyes won't focus, and eventually the grimy build up clogs things so they just don't work right.
Troubles she may have had, but there, in her dungeon, Forensic has made herself a life. To supplement her income, she used her "back-home" knowledge and developed a meth manufacturing system that allowed her to be the producer for 2/3rds of the hospital staff, as well as all her old school johns.. errr...I mean, friends! She has also found that a few less teeth also make a nice improvement in her other side job. s.
She also has finally found a steady pimp, and feels her life is where she's always wanted it to be. And far from being the jelous anfry bicth she insists I am, I'm happy for her as gets ever closer her own version of fulfillment. I just hope she doesn't die before she gets there. I wish for her all the cheetohs she could ever regurgitate, and all the sperm she can handle.
No, I can't hate Forensicgirl... I tried, but I have found that you can't truly hate someone you pity.
Seriously... could YOU hate on this poor thing?
User Reviews
Submitted by ArnieGeddon (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2008-04-08 19:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by beat_raven (user info) at 2007-10-26 17:42:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shlongy, are you calling Forensic Old?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-10-26 17:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-26 16:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That picture looks like she's requesting to be had from behind.
Well, actually, I just finished wailing on her from behind and it took her a few minutes before she could straighten her spine and stand erect.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-26 16:06:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Woops, is this a competition? Sorry about that 0. WHAT WAS I THINKING.
<3
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2007-10-26 16:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That picture looks like she's requesting to be had from behind.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-10-26 16:01:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This will be a classic.
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2007-10-26 15:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what a repulsive whore, hahahaha
Submitted by Hairdo2000 (user info) at 2007-08-31 04:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DeMoNiC (user info) at 2007-08-30 21:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Lovey I will rate things based on what I read, not who wrote them. Thanks for the feedback, though I do feel obliged to return the -1.
Submitted by ShapeShifter (user info) at 2007-08-29 14:51:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Zeglamancer (user info) at 2007-08-23 04:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
A tad old and ran down for my tastes.
If I had a bit of whiskey in me I'd probably take the old car for a spin around the block just for shits and giggles, but as a main vehicle no. Definately no. To old and beaten up to use as a main vehicle.
Submitted by kirst-n-dennis (user info) at 2007-08-23 03:47:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love how us women can be the most evil black hearted people ever whilst smilling sweetly and looking pretty
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-08-13 17:40:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We'll always have Paris
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-07-19 13:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wouldn't say I'd 'hate' on her. Hate isn't the word I'm looking for. I'd jizz on her though.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 13:44:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd sex forensicgirl up so crazy. My glasses are steaming up.
IF I WORE GLASSES THAT IS!
anyway, forensicgirl is hot.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-06-06 13:25:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-05-19 15:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best matchup yet.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-05-19 10:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-18 16:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
suntlety is so underrated
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-05-18 13:01:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
smirk
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-05-18 11:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-05-18 10:29:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF! MILF!
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-05-18 09:47:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-05-18 09:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-05-18 08:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Although FGs was creative, I like the backhanded hate on this. Kinda like you're saying it through a venomous smile.
=============
Yea, reminds me of the way women actually are
zing!
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-05-18 08:11:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Although FGs was creative, I like the backhanded hate on this. Kinda like you're saying it through a venomous smile.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-05-18 07:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is what hatemadness is about! - Well thought out, well written, clever hate!
Funny as a child getting kicked in the face - cannot leave that fucking GIF alone!
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-05-18 04:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This may be too high-brow for a lot of the idiots that frequent this place.
Good job, though. It's the thinking-(wo)man's hate...
-----------------
i don't get it
purdy grrl!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-05-18 03:56:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-05-18 03:39:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
decent, decent hate.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-18 01:21:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Both good
Submitted by street-pirate (user info) at 2007-05-18 00:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The next gust of wind is going to break FG in half.
Submitted by Abbey (user info) at 2007-05-17 22:35:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-05-17 22:32:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FG looks like Amy Pohler (sp?) in that pic.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-05-17 21:57:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OK fine, I'll read it this time.
I wanted blood.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-05-17 21:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Because she didn't learn how to take a good beat down?
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-05-17 21:34:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A serious lack of writing/hate prevailed here...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-17 20:40:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
filename.
Submitted by wrinklebeast (user info) at 2007-05-17 20:18:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yours was better.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-17 20:13:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Incidently, I think Crystle's is the better post. I did the old predictable frontal attack but she snuck in under the radar with the hate.
That takes more skill IMO
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-05-17 20:09:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-05-17 20:03:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Who can? Its impossible to hate on skeletor, she rocks. Intelligent and hot.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Boooooo
Submitted by Despina (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:48:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hay be nice to ech other plz it makes me sad to see u fight with eachothr plus who is that in the pictur she loks like a bicth
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:27:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You to, Fg... I was Lolling!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:26:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BTW, good show girl!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:25:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I did read the whole thing. It just didn't do it for me.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:24:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This may be too high-brow for a lot of the idiots that frequent this place.
Good job, though. It's the thinking-(wo)man's hate...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA I commented too soon. Subtle, passive-aggressive hate can be good hate.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:24:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know. They said something about an upcoming 'competency evaluation.'
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:22:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is THAT what you're calling it now?
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:21:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For your information, Ms. Know it all, I'm in treatment.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OH GODDAMN YOU CRYSTLE I'M NOT READING THIS.
OK fine I will and forensic is a kicker of all ass but I was srsly looking forward to seeing you bring the hate for once.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2007-05-17 19:15:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I tried, and I found it very easy. I think you just suck at hating.