We're a lot more alike than we think (1178 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.37 on 29 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spenny (View user info) at 2007-05-22 17:18:03 EDT
It's a common trick among those who argue politics to single out the opposing sides fringe members and use them to generalize and stigmatize their enemy party. While this is usually an offensive and antagonizing act, serving only to debase political discussion to the lowest possible levels, to the point that one could almost call it a sport... we do not need to cite our fringe, or we could say "fucking insane," politicos as a matter for demonizing the other team. Instead, we can use them as an eternal example that two people on opposite sides really are a lot more alike than they they think.
Crazy Conservatives don't own TVs, radios, or computers (tools of Satan to corrupt our children).
Crazy Liberals don't own TVs, radios, or computers (tools of Government spies).
Crazy Liberals think the world will end shortly (Global Warming).
Crazy Conservatives think the world will end shortly (God's wrath for condoning homosexuality).
Crazy Conservatives don't want their children in public schools (Science teachers want to make our children subject their tender faiths to the immoral theory of evolution).
Crazy Liberals don't want their children in public schools (Gym teachers want to make our children subject their tender psyches to the inhumane rigors of Dodgeball).
Crazy Liberals cross out the "In God We Trust" on dollar bills (blatant violation of church and State).
Crazy Conservatives cross out the "In God We Trust" on dollar bills (God hates America).
Crazy Conservatives religiously listen to Rush Limbaugh (to find out what they agree with, no matter what he says).
Crazy Liberals religiously listen to Rush Limbaugh (to find out what they disagree with, no matter what he says).
Crazy Liberals sincerely believe something is inside them (Government chip).
Crazy Conservatives sincerely believe something is inside them (Jesus).
Crazy Conservatives speak in a crazy language only they claim to know and understand (tongues).
Crazy Liberals speak in a crazy language only they claim to know and understand (poetry).
Crazy Conservatives celebrate when a preacher dies (he's gone to Heaven).
Crazy Liberals celebrate when a preacher dies (fuck him, the hate-spewing asshole, I hope there's a hell so he can rot there).
But most importantly:
Both Crazy Liberals and Crazy Conservatives think Ann Coulter needs to just stay in the fucking kitchen.
User Reviews
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-08-18 16:05:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-06-13 22:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure, yours is simpler; I gave that up to say a little more.
My favorite is the second one. I literally lol'd when I saw that.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-06-13 22:11:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, the simplest way I would put it is that Conservatives want to save us from each other, and Liberals want to save us from ourselves. Neither recognizes that we're really not all that much of a threat to ourselves and others.
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-06-12 03:56:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Genius, although your first paragraph was pretty hard to read.
Conservatives want to control your mind but not your body. Liberals want to control your body but not your mind. Little do we know they both are using their platform as a means of dominating both.
"We must have freedom of speech and ideas, so that we can regulate the fuck out of your day to day life."
"We must keep America free from a big government, but to do this we need to repress certain ideas."
Everyone should read Ayn Rand.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-05-23 16:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
the fact that u need to do this exercise speaks volume about the state of americans politics
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2007-05-23 15:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-05-23 12:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 if you wrote this
May -2s rain down from above with reckless abandon if it is discovered that this was a ctrl 'c' ctrl 'v' post...
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Of course I wrote it. =(
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-23 15:41:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
humorous, and true
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-05-23 15:27:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
hehe
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-05-23 15:12:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2007-05-23 13:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ann Coulter is one scary ass skeletor she-demon. I know there's a Hell, it's foul bitter warmth creeps out into the world from her barren vagina.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-05-23 12:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 if you wrote this
May -2s rain down from above with reckless abandon if it is discovered that this was a ctrl 'c' ctrl 'v' post...
Submitted by DasHeer (user info) at 2007-05-23 11:25:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrez (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:50:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by nyxmar (user info) at 2007-05-22 23:01:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen, case closed.
Submitted by hedonistic_indulgence (user info) at 2007-05-22 22:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think I've ever met crazy liberals who hate public schools. But they do have those fucking vegans who keep starving babies to death on soy milk diets.
Submitted by eric_the_bread (user info) at 2007-05-22 18:36:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 just because i hate Ann Coulter
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-05-22 18:34:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-22 18:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't remember agreeing that you were smug... but smug ain't always a bad thing.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-05-22 18:29:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
True but dull
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-22 18:00:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by camarilla (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Thanks - I needed the laugh.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:50:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, Spenny, you make me smile.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:35:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thank you : )
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
think how much higher this post would be rated if you gave me back my ratings bart.
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:32:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No, we're not.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-22 17:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not your best work, but since this is a post by spooner +2