That's all, folks, nothing to see here... (1105 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 1.7 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (View user info) at 2007-05-22 23:32:43 EDT
#3-E
27 June 2007
Well, Diary, I did it. I got the fucker.
That's right, after 28 years, 6 months and 12 days I finally got the bastard.
He broke his leg on a wide turn and I was just there with a Lee Enfield .303
Right place, right time. All that planning and that's what it comes down to.
Right place, right time.
Jesus.
You know, it wasn't just the time that I sacrificed in this wild bird chase
that cost me so bad. I started sifting through the receipts that are currently
filling up a good two thirds of my trailer and let me tell you, I spent at
least $2.5 million U.S. on what? On stupid shit.
Let's go through one at random:
Oversized sling of hydrogenised rubber: $12,000
"Portable Hole" trapping device: $82,000 (I could have dug one of my own.
What the fuck was I thinking?)
Barrel of industrial quick-setting binder: $1100 (and factor in the cost of
the fucking 6 months in hospital I had to go through after I got caught in
the shit myself, and it doesn't get any better.)
I can't keep reading that, it's too depressing.
Hmm... what to say. What to say.
You wanna know the worst thing? I've spent so long, so fucking long ,
trying to get this motherfucker that I don't even remember why I wanted him
in the first place. I mean, sure I wanted to eat him, but let's be serious,
it got to a point a looooong time ago where that wasn't the main reason.
I think. You know, I think it just gave my life meaning. Something that
filled that space between sunrise and sunset. Did I really ave nothing better to do?
Have I really been that fucking pathetic?
So what now? Debts out my ass. ACME enforcers knocking on my door every
two days and fuck knows what to do for money in this society.
Can you believe this? Can you believe that I can feel this useless?
I did it. I got the fucker.
And now I don't know what to do.
_____
Police Report 1331:A
Evidence item #3-E was found by the body of the deceased. The deceased
suffered massive head trauma as a result of a gunshot wound to the head.
The wound is apparently self-inflicted, pending a coronial enquiry.
A .38 special was on the ground by the deceased's body and has been
filed in evidence as #3-B.
The deceased, W.E.Coyote, has no living relatives. Contact efforts with
known associates are continuing.
NB: Post copy of this report to the District Crime Ombudsman who is
currently compiling a report on the similar suicide of Fudd, E in May.
User Reviews
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2007-05-25 06:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-05-23 22:21:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
cool photo
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-23 16:39:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-23 15:52:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Speaking of that, I saw the first trailer for the new Transformers movie, as directed by Michael Bay - should be AWESOME
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-05-23 15:33:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-05-23 13:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-05-23 12:36:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 post
+200 filename
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-23 12:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wasn't there some story written here about people who mined too far and released demons into a small town?
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Sort of. For last year's Gruberfest I wrote a story about the Nephilim being released from the Earth's crust because of people drilling where they ought not to.
I guess I have a thing about monsters and demons lurking below.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-05-23 11:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-23 11:29:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-05-23 11:12:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-05-23 09:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the Return of Phallic Cymbals.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-23 11:04:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:55:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got to the Acme enforcers before I figured out what the hell this was about. Plus, that's one of the coolest apparati I've ever seen.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed...and yet, I don't know why.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2007-05-23 10:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wasn't there some story written here about people who mined too far and released demons into a small town?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-23 09:57:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i need one of those machines for my very own
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2007-05-23 09:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the Return of Phallic Cymbals.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-23 09:09:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for "The Machine" as I call those.
I got to see one of those things up close and personal once.
Awe inspiring and terrible at the same time.
My mind started writing stories just so it could cognitively process what it was looking at.
'And lo, the machine did rip into the Earth and revealed an ancient evil.'
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-05-23 07:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-05-23 05:36:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-05-23 05:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-05-23 04:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty likes this kind of stuff.
"Berty... is this one good?"
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Oh! I see! Yeah, www.xkcd.com is fantastic, although one or two of the maths bits are beyond me. Incidently, todays Cat and Girl comic is hysterical.
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I'll suspend my inner child. Just for you. I won't enjoy it... but I will.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-05-23 05:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What cartoon? What other post? What are you talking about Beano?
Whatever, you'll hate it. You have no ability to suspend your disbelief as you have smothered your inner child, which is probably just as well.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-05-23 04:42:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-05-23 04:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are people so obsessed with that piece of mining equipment?
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Sod this mining equipment Berty, is the cartoon in the other post funny?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2007-05-23 04:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why are people so obsessed with that piece of mining equipment?
Submitted by BranDo (user info) at 2007-05-23 04:35:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great!!
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-23 04:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you sleep with mushrooms?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you sleep with mushrooms?
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:54:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nah... the mushroom question is just frippery, not serious inquiry. Now, if you'd asked about his sleeping habits, I would have backed you up.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:50:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What about the mushroom question Fey.......
It's important
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurrah you are unblocked.
Who are you?
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hurrah you are unblocked.
Who are you?
Do you like mushrooms?
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sorry, messed up
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2007-05-23 03:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2007-05-23 01:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on the unbanning
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-23 00:58:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nice
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-05-23 00:02:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hA
That picture is great. seeeeeeeeriously scary looking machine there
Submitted by Falafel (user info) at 2007-05-22 23:40:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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