Mamas, Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to be Fuckscrews, or "Get your entitlement gene off my planet!" (24241 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.9 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by a_little_more_time (View user info) at 2007-05-24 13:15:57 EDT
I need to get a new job.
Well, technically, I'm still a "professional student", but that doesn't keep the creditors from coming after my thumbs, so a few months ago I got myself a position as Guest Service Drone #238 at a major video rental chain.
I won't mention its name, but I will say that its name starts with "Hol" and ends with "lywood". I hope that's not giving too much away. [omg FIRED]
This chain has a whole load of rules regarding the upkeep of the store. Most of them are what you'd expect from a monolithic corporation: draconian, ancient policies, most of which are for purely cosmetic purposes and, thus, are only implemented when inconsiderate customers come in and rummage around our selection without putting shit back where it belongs.
This doesn't happen too often with adults when they come in alone, mind you, but when accompanied by their slobbering larvae, you'd think a very localized Armageddon hit the inside of the place after they leave.
This is what really gets my blood pressure up.
I work in a very nouveau riche (for the lack of a better term) area, so most of our business comes from young thirty-somethings who roll up in BMWs and, if they're really adventurous, Chargers.
[Which leads me to a side note: when did "I drive a vehicle with a HEMI engine" become synonymous with "I'm a gigantic, raging fucking cock"?]
These people come in with a whole brood underfoot and, while they bog off to peruse the New Release wall, just turn their heads and ignore their kids while they pillage the fucking joint like a horde of midget vikings. They pick up every movie they can and put them back in different areas, dump shit from our concessions wall all over the floor, scream and holler, rape our female employees, and generally just make a mess of things. The ones that are old enough to be autonomous in their rental decisions are rude enough to make a nun cuss like a sailor; they expect to be waited on at the drop of a hat even when we're busy with the customers that were good enough to wait in line.
This happens on a daily basis, and virtually every half hour on Fridays and Saturdays, and I know why. When you combine the sense of entitlement that these little fucks have after a decade of getting whatever they want in lieu of actual discipline and parenting with the fact that these parents treat every place they go like a goddamn daycare, this is exactly what you get. I'm not saying that the kids need to get their asses whooped on a weekly basis like I did (though some could use a swat upside the head once in a while), but for God's sake, use some sense.
I realize that some of these kids are just mimicking what they see from their progenitors, but the younger ones really don't know any better, and they never will until the parents just get a fucking clue and keep an eye on them. I once had a customer yell at me for ten minutes because she wasn't watching her little spawn when he was running around, which resulted in him falling near a concessions rack and cracking his head open on the edge of a plastic shelf. She walked out of the store with my name, my manager's name and phone number, the number to Customer Service and ten free rentals (because, you know, she was so fucking inconvenienced), and she STILL threatened to sue us.
That leads me to my next point: large store chains of all kinds should cease offering free shit altogether when their employees fuck up. This, in part, is what perpetuates this idea of entitlement; if a customer is in ANY way unhappy with the service they receive, they can just get a kink in their undies and demand the world on a silver platter until they're finally satisfied. Now, I hate to compartmentalize groups of people, but the wealthy customers that come in our store do this early and often.
What the fuck, Thurston? Your Jaguar and your three million dollar home and cushy job at your dad's office isn't enough to make you content that you need to verbally abuse my fat ass until you get a handful of free 99 cent movie rentals? Congradu-fucking-lations. I hope that makes your dick feel positively elephantine.
Anyone here on Ubersite, if you work in the service industry, I entreat you: shake up the system a little. Stop giving people free shit, because most of the time, the fuck up really isn't anyone's fault. Maybe if we pour salt on enough of these leeches, they'll all dry up and blow away.
User Reviews
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2007-09-20 18:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had the EXACT same thing happen, the parent's little 5 year old was running around the store like a banshee and fell and cracked his head on a WALL........a WALL. Its not like we had some evil stick poking out waiting to trip someone, this thing is HOLDING UP THE BUILDING.
And to top it off the guy was a dead ringer for the redneck customer in the movie "Waiting" . He got 3 free rentals and didnt bring a single one back, and my pussy manager was too afraid of getting sued to send him to collections.
Submitted by Jezarel (user info) at 2007-06-27 11:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen my fellow drone. I spent 4 years behind every bar in my little shitpoke town. Then I decided to join the choices chain (DVD rental and so forth). Now 12 months ago I would say act like randell from clerks 2 that really gets on their tits but then I realised I had spent over 100 great British pounds to keep these fuckwits happy. Then I took a step back. I can't change the forever monotonous crawl of the human race but I sure as fuck can see I'm getting paid 3.50 an hour to cope with it.
That's why I was fired from my job for removing XBOX 360 games without consent. Little do they know and never will that I also walked out of there with £250 quid's worth of games before getting caught and a brand new Xbox 360.
That is sticking it up their stupid asses.
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-06-25 00:32:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yeah.
Submitted by _God (user info) at 2007-06-23 15:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God bless you, your words could not ring truer.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-18 06:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on B@W...
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2007-06-12 18:51:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2007-06-10 15:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
98 mph painting the outside black.
Submitted by DaBeast (user info) at 2007-06-10 14:35:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HELL YES!!!!!!
Submitted by steph (user info) at 2007-06-08 20:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-06-08 00:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this post deserves some more love.
Submitted by shortgerbal (user info) at 2007-06-07 18:08:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm a driver for Domino's...
amen.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2007-06-07 06:17:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent. Drooling Larvae.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-06-07 05:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You made B@W before I did.
*dies*
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-06-01 11:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's the shit right there! - good work.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-06-01 10:06:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope this B@W makes your dick feel positively elephantine
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2007-05-31 23:51:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
rad. an actual good BAW post.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-05-31 13:58:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-31 13:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have yet another.
great B@W choice.
BLOW AWAY, LEECHES
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-05-31 13:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shiite.
Never thought I'd hit B@W.
Now all that's left on my "Things to Do Before I Die" List is...
...#31: Nail missflibble.
...
Now all I need is a one-way to Heathrow and cab fare.
[boobalicious]
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-31 10:34:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet....B@W dude.
Good Job.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2007-05-31 09:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is a welcomed surprise, to have landed on B@W.
Next, I bet that the Jann-Wenner-Rock-Hall-(Biased)-Selection-Committee will finally let the Moody Blues in, too.
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-05-31 07:09:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh and congrats on the B@W.
LONG LIVE THE POOR RETAIL EMPLOYEE!
Submitted by Bob_Dole (user info) at 2007-05-31 07:07:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant, on target, and altogether too familiar writing!
I worked at a large international chain of pet food stores who's name is similar to PetStupid.
We had many tomes of "...draconian, ancient policies, most of which are for purely cosmetic purposes...". Entire filing cabinets of Standard Operating Procedures and Policy Manuals, and almost all of them were better suited for kindling than reading.
The fortunate thing was that in my department I ruled pretty much unchallenged. I had a very simple sliding scale: If you had less money, and were nicer, I'd give you the store and help you carry it out. If you were an asshole, and evidently rich or flaunting it, I'd give you the finger, and help you find someplace else to be.
The 'have-nots' were generally more considerate, and more concerned about their pets, than the 'haves'.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-05-30 07:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2007-05-26 16:34:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yes.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-26 16:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is where I hang out; in the (quote SkrapMetal) "Well I'm not (A), I'm not (B), and I'm not (C), but I know what all you (A), (B), (C)* people are doing wrong just from the 10-minute interaction I had with you" category.
I know this story. I realised today I really shouldn't work with people.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-05-24 22:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Beautiful.
Submitted by The_Penguin_Master_222 (user info) at 2007-05-24 22:25:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks. I was reading this in a library and got yelled at for laughing like a fucking retard.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2007-05-24 21:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rantastic
Submitted by jigglypuff (user info) at 2007-05-24 18:02:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I work in the service industry, and I would get annoyed with anemployees incopitence, unless you enticed the child into a headbanging grudge match with the plastic stand, it is NOT your fault!!
I hate those parents!!!!
Also, I hate the free stuff thing. Managers totally undermine any authority you strive to acheive.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:40:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good title.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:26:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2007-05-24 17:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-05-24 16:44:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GO ON GIVE THE DONKEY A SNIFF
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-05-24 15:09:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i never got fired for swearing or telling off customers surprisingly. warned a lot, but never fired. as a customer i tell people off. it's fun. i recommend it.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:49:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:42:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Its not often I +2 off of a title alone, but this was solid.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have another.
fuck entitlement.
some brilliant lines in here as well.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:26:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
valid points below
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:24:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm going to go against the grain here due to the utter lack of anything resembling service I constantly receive from people in the "service" industry. I'm being too harsh here. Most experiences are pleasant, and I try to act appropriately.
However, when my meal gets totally ruined due to gross incompetence on the part of restaurant staff and management, and when it arrives an hour late it is cold.... and I'm still expected to pay anything for it. Well, have fun losing money on that order tards. In my experience, most service staff are just as retarded as the retards they service.
Thanks for playing, have a nice day :)
Submitted by Draco (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:19:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Some people just need to be on the receiving end of a good cock punch. I feel for ya.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-24 14:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Same old crap, but in a new, shiny, entertaining package. You have certainly raised the bar in the "Well I'm not (A), I'm not (B), and I'm not (C), but I know what all you (A), (B), (C)* people are doing wrong just from the 10-minute interaction I had with you" category. Well done.
*in this case, A= rich, B= experienced in life to any respectable extent, C= a parent
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:56:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Healthcare fucking sucks too.
Don't get me wrong, you should expect excellence in your healthcare providers. All the way from doctors down to us lowly lab techs.
But......
I don't think you should expect 5 star hotel service. Do not throw your tray across the room at your nurse just because the chicken was not to your liking. Do not act like an asshole because you have a plastic pillow with a pillowcase over it. MOTHERFUCKER-WE ARE TRYING TO CONTROL GERMS YOU RE RE! Do not throw your full urinal against the wall because we don't have HBO, Xbox, or because you can't call long distance and talk for 2 hours on our dime.
And don't threaten to kill and/or sue the lab tech when she draws your blood and leaves a little pea sized bruise (that will heal in a couple of days). We're sure sorry that you bruised up a little. Gee, she was sticking a needle in your arm--these things tend to happen. She did get you the first try and you yourself even said you didn't feel it, right? Oh, but she left a *gasp* BRUISE on your fatty fat fat arm (amazing she could even find your triglycerided veins at all) so of course you should have the right to act like an asshole.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
-------------------------------------------------------
In my rare experiences with hospitals, it is the staff, not the patients who are the fucktards. I have yet to meet someone working in a hospital who isn't an asshole who thinks they are too busy for everyone around them.
I almost had to stop visiting my brother in the hospital when he was having problems with krohn's disease because it was only a matter of time before I broke one of the dumb fucking nurses neck. My brother had part of his lower intestine removed and they put his guts back in wrong, and with a tear so they had to open him up for three days to find where they fucked up and then put him back together (completely the hospitals fault, so you htink they would treat him nicer). Needless to say he was in a lot of pain after this, the type that were locked up. On two occassions I was there when he asked the nurse to get more painkillers now because after hours it took a few hours to order nurses assured him they would be available in the evening, and of course they weren't. When he complained he didn't want those nurses treating him anymore he was accused of being racist.
Submitted by Abbey (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:56:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"When you combine the sense of entitlement that these little fucks have after a decade of getting whatever they want in lieu of actual discipline and parenting with the fact that these parents treat every place they go like a goddamn daycare, this is exactly what you get."
-------------------------------------------
fucking right.
..............................
Try being a teacher of these kids.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
-----------------------------------------------
HATEBOT HAS BEEN INITIALIZED
00:00:00:00 UNTIL AWAKE AWARE AND ACTIVE
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME
---------------------
AAAAAHAHAHAHA. I felt bad for the lab tech that drew blood from me. As soon as the needle went in, she said "Oh! You're a bruiser, eh?" I nodded silently as I fought back vomit and tears. She said "Oh my god, are you ok?" Again, I nodded, feeling woozy. I thanked her profusely for being so kind. I'm a giant baby when it comes to needles. The resulting bruise was two inches in diameter, deep violet and stayed for a month.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:48:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow forensic.... I sure hope you feel better now
Working in a service area of anykind sucks, so for the most part all they can get are employees that suck... and such is the circle of life
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HATEBOT HAS BEEN INITIALIZED
00:00:00:00 UNTIL AWAKE AWARE AND ACTIVE
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME
--------
<gets hold of self and clears throat>
heh.
Sorry 'bout that.
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This did make me smile and there were a few good lines in there so I'll give you the +1 but in reality as you said, you need a new job. It'd be different if in society we got paid more to deal with the assholes but I find, more often than not, that that is not the case. Those who get paid the least tend to have the hardest jobs and deal with the shittiest of people.
But kudos to you for your funny post and your ability to take lightly your everyday dealings in the mire.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:47:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:46:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"When you combine the sense of entitlement that these little fucks have after a decade of getting whatever they want in lieu of actual discipline and parenting with the fact that these parents treat every place they go like a goddamn daycare, this is exactly what you get."
-------------------------------------------
fucking right.
Submitted by a_little_more_time (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Healthcare fucking sucks too.
Don't get me wrong, you should expect excellence in your healthcare providers. All the way from doctors down to us lowly lab techs.
But......
I don't think you should expect 5 star hotel service. Do not throw your tray across the room at your nurse just because the chicken was not to your liking. Do not act like an asshole because you have a plastic pillow with a pillowcase over it. MOTHERFUCKER-WE ARE TRYING TO CONTROL GERMS YOU RE RE! Do not throw your full urinal against the wall because we don't have HBO, Xbox, or because you can't call long distance and talk for 2 hours on our dime.
And don't threaten to kill and/or sue the lab tech when she draws your blood and leaves a little pea sized bruise (that will heal in a couple of days). We're sure sorry that you bruised up a little. Gee, she was sticking a needle in your arm--these things tend to happen. She did get you the first try and you yourself even said you didn't feel it, right? Oh, but she left a *gasp* BRUISE on your fatty fat fat arm (amazing she could even find your triglycerided veins at all) so of course you should have the right to act like an asshole.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
-----------------------------------------------
HATEBOT HAS BEEN INITIALIZED
00:00:00:00 UNTIL AWAKE AWARE AND ACTIVE
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was mighty in its kickassery.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right fucking on.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Healthcare fucking sucks too.
Don't get me wrong, you should expect excellence in your healthcare providers. All the way from doctors down to us lowly lab techs.
But......
I don't think you should expect 5 star hotel service. Do not throw your tray across the room at your nurse just because the chicken was not to your liking. Do not act like an asshole because you have a plastic pillow with a pillowcase over it. MOTHERFUCKER-WE ARE TRYING TO CONTROL GERMS YOU RE RE! Do not throw your full urinal against the wall because we don't have HBO, Xbox, or because you can't call long distance and talk for 2 hours on our dime.
And don't threaten to kill and/or sue the lab tech when she draws your blood and leaves a little pea sized bruise (that will heal in a couple of days). We're sure sorry that you bruised up a little. Gee, she was sticking a needle in your arm--these things tend to happen. She did get you the first try and you yourself even said you didn't feel it, right? Oh, but she left a *gasp* BRUISE on your fatty fat fat arm (amazing she could even find your triglycerided veins at all) so of course you should have the right to act like an asshole.
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:34:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope that makes your dick feel positively elephantine.
--
I shall be using this.
Submitted by Lib (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:32:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Right at this moment I have someone here (at work) that thinks I'm her friggin secretary. I friggin hate public service.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope that makes your dick feel positively elephantine.
--
I shall be using this.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hatemadness: a_little_more_time vs. goddam bratty little kids
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a parent...and I HATE other people's kids.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:25:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
All breeders must fucking hang.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, I worked in the service industry for a while. It's not just the rich people that expect free shit. They all do.
Submitted by William_Q_Percy (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:21:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope that makes your dick feel positively elephantine.
--
I shall be using this.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-05-24 13:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment