We All Go To Hell (776 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.9 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by mockidol (View user info) at 2007-05-25 20:12:58 EDT
The smell of lilies, Mom's favorite flower, hangs in the air and I come dangerously close to crying as I hug my sister goodbye. This funeral, my Mother's, has been the morbid event you'd expect it to be but I've managed to remain solid up until now. Theresa's face is streaked with pain and seeing her, still my baby sister to me, is enough to make my stomach finally twist, turn, ball up in the fetal position just like my Mother was when they found her.
Whimpering in my ear the words are warm and moist against my neck as she grasps me and says, "I still can't believe Dad didn't come."
Trying to comfort her I reply, "Some things never die. We knew it'd end up this way."
Wiping her face, "I know. Well, call me later Pete? Okay?"
"Okay."
"Love you Pete. Drive safe."
"Will do sis. Will do." We wrap our arms around each other, mine still engulfing her like a sweater, the same as they did when we were young then we let go, and walk our separate ways.
In my car driving to see my childhood home one last time I'm touched by the somewhat appropriate lyrics of some angry emo song on the radio.
Mama we all go to hell.
I'm writing this letter and wishing you well.
Mama we all go to hell.
It seems harsh but reminds me of all the things I never said, all the letters I never wrote. The self pity leads into more thoughts of my father, his leaving her, and the last time I even heard the two together. I was only 8 years old and had just buried my dog.
Stop asking me questions.
I'd hate to see you cry.
Mama we're all gonna die.
Their voices come through the wall like it's cardboard and it's tone is all I understand. 8 year-old me sits on his bed picking dirt from under his finger nails, not quite understanding what's going on. The image of him there is fuzzy, dark, like an old mirrored polaroid, a memory I've long ignored. All Peter can think of is how glad he is that Mom is getting yelled at. She killed his dog Titus. Said it was "his time."
"You fucking whore!" Dad's voice yells out in the house. "You don't just lose your wedding ring!"
Peter doesn't grasp the gravity of the situation. He smiles as Mom gets in trouble for losing her ring. Dad keeps calling her names he doesn't understand but Pete just smirks now that Mom is crying like he was when she killed his dog.
And right now they're building a coffin your size.
Mama we're all full of lies.
"Jonathan, I swear. I just lost it. Nothings going on." She's pleading to Dad and Peter hears her big dress scrapes across the floor, the deep packing sounds of Dad pushing his fists into her face; another deep thump she falls to the floor.
"Fucking bitch. You know I've been worried about this and now, suddenly after I've been away on business you seem to have left your ring somewhere you can't seem to REMEMBER!?!"
Peter loved Titus and even now he feels no regret for Mom. Taking him away was all her fault and she just wouldn't listen to him. Peter rests his head down in his pillow and mutters, "She just treated me like a baby."
"I'm leaving you're, you're fucking life. Tell the kids goodbye. That is, if they're even mine."
With a creak of the screen door and a slam Dad leaves the house and never returns.
Mom lies on the kitchen in the fetal position whimpering for hours, Peter lies the same way in his room until finally she gets up and comes to his room. Little baby Theresa follows close behind. The three sit there, silent until Peter's little sister grasps her big brother and says, "I'm sorry about your dog."
Peter cries again over Titus but secretly revels over his Mom's tears. Being just a child he doesn't understand that Dad was gone. He's only happy that Mom was now sad like him.
They can amputate at once.
You should have been.
I could have been a better son.
My car pulls into the driveway and finally admitting the truth, blaming myself for all her pain, it causes me to cry: The first time I've cried over a death since I lost that dog. Somewhat shaking now I step out of the car, grab a shovel from the trunk and walk around to the backyard.
In the corner of the yard behind the ancient shed I stand over a group of small crosses. Scanning over them I read, "Ender the snake, Cracker the bird, Julie the dog and Titus." Stopping at the last name I bury my spade into the ground and begin to dig.
The last time I dug here I was alone. Being an angry 8 year-old I insisted it had to be me and that no one else was allowed to be there. I wanted to bury my own dog, like a grown up.
Finally, 15 minutes later I've unearthed the shallow grave and stare down at Titus, his bones. Bending over and reaching down, I grab the sparkling jewel from what's left of his paw. The ring is still around a toe on his front left paw. Fishing it out the dirt crams under my nails just like when I put the ring there.
I kneel in the dirt crying and say to myself, "I didn't understand. She killed my dog; I was just a kid and wanted her to get in trouble." I fall sideways begging for God's forgiveness as the last words I heard in the car echo in my head.
She said 'You ain't no son of mine.'
For what you done they're gonna find.
A place for you and just you mind.
Mama we all go to hell...
User Reviews
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-05-29 10:59:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
really ugly story.
Submitted by PukingDog (user info) at 2007-05-26 17:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Actually this has some good elements.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-05-26 02:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-05-26 01:24:02 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the story but I didn't quite believe it.
This is your fault, because I love the idea and the effective structure, so I really wanted to buy in. It's your job to pay my way.
Some of your dialogue was too expository, too 'on the nose.'
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Good points. This unlike most of my stuff was purely fictional and I had trouble selling it. Making it ring true if you will. I'm glad you still appreciated it though.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-05-26 02:24:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the story but I didn't quite believe it.
This is your fault, because I love the idea and the effective structure, so I really wanted to buy in. It's your job to pay my way.
Some of your dialogue was too expository, too 'on the nose.'
Still a 2, if only because I haven't read much here lately and the front page looks like dogshit.
This should be longer.
Fuck this place for causing people to write down to the attention span of the christless gif-lovers.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-05-26 00:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The last bit of that song has the most rock-o-rific guitar smash evar! Or at least in a few months. New music sucks, but that song is alright. And by alright, I mean awesome.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-05-25 22:33:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/98156
I'm linkwhoring again.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2007-05-25 22:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice piece.
Submitted by Saeki (user info) at 2007-05-25 21:29:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The backdrop of this story is interesting.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2007-05-25 21:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, man.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-25 21:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ps, My sister is awesome.
Submitted by Graham (user info) at 2007-05-25 21:15:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Please continue to post here. Outstanding work. I could actually feel the pain.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-05-25 21:07:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
holy fuck.
This is good. Sad, tragic even.
>sigh<
outstanding.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-05-25 21:00:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-25 19:57:52 CDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't take the time to read a lot of fiction here, 'cause I'm primarily fucking off when I'm visiting this place, and, anyway, I'm not much of a reader anymore. I must say, though, that I really like your writing. I'm not one to offer helpful hints, as I am far too much a relativist, and believe art cannot be ranked except on an individualistic scale. One likes what one likes, eh? Just saying: Good stuff. I hope you keep contributing. In return, I will likely continue to post utter shit.
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Sounds like a good agreement.
Thanks for reading.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:57:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't take the time to read a lot of fiction here, 'cause I'm primarily fucking off when I'm visiting this place, and, anyway, I'm not much of a reader anymore. I must say, though, that I really like your writing. I'm not one to offer helpful hints, as I am far too much a relativist, and believe art cannot be ranked except on an individualistic scale. One likes what one likes, eh? Just saying: Good stuff. I hope you keep contributing. In return, I will likely continue to post utter shit.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:35:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:28:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Top Notch.
-Dave
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:19:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:19:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:17:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The week following my mom's funeral, I learned that the scent of lilies makes me fucking sick.
True story.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-05-25 20:16:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fab