Gone Fishing, Won't Be Back Until You've Fucked Off (1920 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.92 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Steve St. Awesome (View user info) at 2007-05-28 03:09:54 EDT
The mermaid swam up next to my boat, gripped her delicate fingers on the rough wooden edge and sighed. I studied her fingers, imagining her weaving seaweed into her hair with those soft hands.
She found my eyes and glared. I blushed and dropped my eyes, studying my fishing pole as the lure bobbed in the water.
Her tail glistened beneath the water. I caught it out of the corner of my eye and slowly turned back to face her. She pouted, her purple lips pursing into a soft sigh. Water lapped at the edge of the boat as she gently swayed it in the vacant water.
"You know what it's like, don't you?" She asked. I'm not quite sure how she spoke and I'm not sure how I heard as my ears have betrayed me before.
"I certainly don't," I replied even though I didn't know what I was denying.
"Being caught in between two worlds; between two things you love," Her eyes were the colour fish scales, shimmering in the sun. Any other person would be confused by this encounter but I've had enough strangeness in my life to accept what fate decided to throw my way.
I pulled the flask out of my jacket and waggled it in her direction. "You want a drink?"
"No, can't drink and swim."
"I shouldn't drink and boat, but that won't stop me."
I took a quick sip and tucked it back in my coat. She sighed. The hint of her warm breath floated across the bottom of my boat, ghosting across my ankles.
"I'm sure she didn't mean to do it," she said. I sat up and closed my eyes.
"I came out here not to think about what she did."
I heard the smirk in her voice when she replied, "And yet, here you are throwing your thoughts into the ocean and waiting for an answer."
"Are you here with an answer?" I turned and faced her, an obvious lack of hope in my voice.
She wrinkled her pointed nose. The thing I'm running from, the girl I'm determined to avoid until I die, has a softer nose. No point. No sharp upturn. Just a soft, simple nose in between hauntingly green eyes. The water caught a hint of sunlight and burns that same shade of green. My shoulders fell. Can't hide forever.
"She was supposed to be mine," I hissed through clenched teeth. I didn't mean to let the rage out with a slow leak because I knew it would build. I could feel the cracks starting to form with the first trickle of anger.
"She wasn't. She made her choice and she picked him," she had a logical head on her salt soaked shoulders.
I, however, didn't give a fuck about logic.
"He is my best friend," I bristled. "Why him? Why now? It's not fair."
She shrugged. "Maybe you should actually speak to them about it, and not avoid it like a child like you are right now. You're hiding from them."
"Shoes," I mumbled. "I need to buy some shoes."
She sighed, one hand slipping off the edge of the boat and slapping the water. "So you're going to let a girl come in between you two, a girl you have no claim on."
"She led me on. Played a game."
"You wouldn't take no for an answer."
I felt my shoulders tense. "Would you just leave me alone!"
But I was alone.
Alone in my boat.
No mermaid. No best friend. No betraying girl coming between us.
Just fish.
At least I hope there is fish.
Although I'm fairly certain they're all dead.
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-21 14:35:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll get you yet darko!
*shakes fist at sky*
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-06-20 19:23:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber is dead. You killed it :(
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-13 18:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tried the deoderant on the back of the knees thing. It worked great at first, but I used the gel kind and it stayed on for a few hours. It was glorious.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-02 18:28:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get in line, sister.
Submitted by blonde (user info) at 2007-06-02 18:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
=( That doesn't sound like fun. Although, it just might be worth it...
I'll put a padded bra on or something.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-06-02 02:35:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You'll have to fight Darko to get to me and he punches people in the boob.
Submitted by blonde (user info) at 2007-06-01 16:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Steve, will you please marry me?
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2007-05-30 16:21:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-05-30 07:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-29 13:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-05-29 10:17:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
when a mermaid farts, does it make bubbles and smell funny?
what the hell was this?
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-29 00:31:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I still have another fucking hour and a half left of work.
Time is slowing down.
Fuck.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 17:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
make that 977, plus 77 reviews by Dreg and 36 by blueboy.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 17:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is my 966th review of your posts.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-05-28 16:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone ever wonder why you don't put deodorant on the back of your knees so they won't smell? I'm going to start doing that.
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you don't do that? wow, i must be a freak, i've been spraying perfume there for years.
Submitted by greEn_uGly (user info) at 2007-05-28 16:22:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
saint of awesomeness indeed...
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-05-28 15:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-05-28 15:14:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fishfucker
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-05-28 15:05:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 02:12:44 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone ever wonder why you don't put deodorant on the back of your knees so they won't smell? I'm going to start doing that.
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Why? Do you put deodorant in your elbow pits? I'd have to say the arm pit of your legs would be in between your thigh and your balls. And yes, I make sure that doesn't smell... too much.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-05-28 12:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll get you yet, darko!
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-05-28 11:54:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-28 11:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-05-28 11:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wardy sighting
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-05-28 11:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wardy sighting
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2007-05-28 11:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you can go fuck yourself.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-05-28 10:48:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The mermaid swam up next to my boat, gripped her delicate fingers on the rough wooden edge and sighed.
Well, if you really want to fix that line:
The mermaid swam next to my boat, gripped the rough wooden edge with delicate fingers, and sighed.
This was a lovely story. Quite like that line, actually.
Rough emotions conveyed with a delicate touch.
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2007-05-28 10:21:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....mermaid pussy....smells like low tide, on a warm day..........
Submitted by internetslacker (user info) at 2007-05-28 10:07:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"The hint of her warm breath floated across the bottom of my boat, ghosting across my ankles."
Nice. Very immersive description.
Submitted by fuck_button (user info) at 2007-05-28 09:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 mermaids
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2007-05-28 09:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-28 08:17:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2007-05-28 08:07:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You poor lonely bastard. Yeah, I'm not very good at cheering people up...umm, better luck next life..?
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2007-05-28 05:14:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now I want to watch Little Mermaid but not the fun one with the singing crab from Jamaica. The depressing one where she kills herself at the end. I loved that one when I was little. I was an odd child.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-05-28 04:17:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
1.5 rounded down
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2007-05-28 04:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sigh*
*shuffles off*
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 04:05:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
INCOMPLETE
SEE ME AFTER CLASS.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
May I edit slightly?
"gripped her delicate fingers on the rough wooden edge and sighed."
could perhaps be;
"gripped with her delicate fingers the rough wooden edge and sighed."
I would've liked more.
But I liked what there was.
1.5 Rounded up.
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:43:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I'm going to move to Estonia.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:26:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
He's not better than you RePet, it's just his dick is 3 inches longer and twice as wide as yours.
Submitted by RePet (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:24:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of my own problems. Mine, however, are between me, a girl, and some drugged-up asshole that apparently, is better for her than me.
Sigh.
+2
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Girls? Fuck? It's been so long I've forgotten what the entire concept of fucking girls is.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:22:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hate my sweaty, sweaty knees.
and lying bitches.
girls are fucks.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:22:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the knees thing.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Drinking when you're feeling alone or deodorant on the back of your knees? Or the crelbow? Crelbow is my name for the inside of your elbow.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:17:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've actually thought that before.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have terribly smelly knees and I've started drinking when I'm lonely.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone ever wonder why you don't put deodorant on the back of your knees so they won't smell? I'm going to start doing that.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-05-28 03:11:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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