Tango to Meet Yoou (678 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.83 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by lodikcom Ω mockidol (View user info) at 2007-05-28 19:09:09 EDT
We first meet here by accident when we both came to the same lame rock show last week. It was a quick fleeting introduction near the bar and we could barley read each other's lips over the music. Her mouth signed to me she was Angel and my lips told her I was Damon. As quickly as we meet we exchanged numbers and our friends pulled us separate ways into the crowd.
Having actually worked up the nerve to call her over the week we ended up talking and now here we were, sitting across from each other in a booth near the bar while some excessively loud Goth band screamed something over our heads.
Her eyes are a cat fur gray and light pink veins radiate out from the pupil like spider legs. Her choppy layered black and dark blue hair hides exactly what she's looking at but I can tells she's watching me, watching her.
"So... let's start with the cliché.' she says, "Tell me something about yourself. Something no one else here even knows."
A thousand ideas fly through my head, speeding cars on the freeway of my mind, and suddenly one comes into view. It's something stupid, a fact I normally wouldn't even admit, but it comes out anyways.
"I can tango."
She brushes most of the hair out of her face though a small clump clings to her eyebrow ring, and she rests her vision on mine. She pauses for a second, waiting for me to say it was a joke and when it doesn't come she starts laughing.
"Hey, c'mon now. Don't laugh."
A small little snort comes out of her nose as she says, "Sorry. It... it just kind of is funny, in a way you don't understand. I'll explain in a second."
She's pressed a thatch of blue hair in between her hand and her mouth and is breathing into it trying not to laugh so I take my turn, ask one to get us moving.
"So, to be fair, what's something about you know one else here knows?
Her hand pulls away from her mouth to reach across the table and rest in my palm as she says, "I can tango too."
Just as the words exit her mouth the band blasts into some insane, distortion ridden riff and the crowd jeers into a mass of screams. The noise keeps us from hearing one another but we stare over the table and read each and every single laugh on our lips.
My mouth tells her "That's perfect."
The music comes to a halt between songs so I stand up and walk to her side of the booth. I reach down to her hand as her spidery eyes watch me ask, "May I have this dance?"
Her hand rests in mine, she gets up, and as we start walking to the dance floor she says, "We can't tango here, especially in a room full of punks listening to hardcore music."
We take our fist step onto the black tile mosh pit we're about to make our ballroom and my two hands pull her to the center of the room.
"Hey, we're freaks too. And if you weren't going to do this, you'd never have gotten up out of that chair."
The band is getting ready to start again as we pull one another close into the Abrazo, the hugging position where we are going to start. I can feel the dewy touch of her words on my earlobe, "Tell me more about you, tell me all the things no one cares about, things everyone wants forget, the ones I'd die not knowing."
Just as she quiets the band launches into an even heavier song and I push her away from me and we Salida, the first steps of the dance. Immediately the crowd chanting in tongues around us pulls away, giving us our own little midnight black dance floor. Our tango begins as screams and guitars float over us in a fog.
We both ease into a basic eight step as we gently press closer to one another, take a half turn Media Vuelta at which point I tell her, "In private I never cut six pack rings but in public I never forget because I'm nervous of what others will think."
"Perfect." she tells me as I lead her into the Planeo where I pivot and she takes two steps around me. We both retighten out backs as we return to Abrazo and she continues, "When I'm nervous I yank out individual eyelashes and stuff them in between seat cushions."
By now there's a circular wall of jet black hair and tight leans enveloping us, watching us tango to the thrashing rock.
Our sides against one another I Marcar, or lead us to a spot a few feet away. When we get there she whips her leg around mine and I muzzle my face into her neck.
"I'm afraid of green beans and band-aids."
Before we pull back apart she replies, "Sometimes when I eat alone I sniff the pepper to make me sneeze."
Using my leg to carry her, Llevada, we move and I can hear the band screaming about love. We pause and she watches me mouth the words, "The first time I had cherry coke was with my uncle and it' one of my greatest childhood memories."
Her lips say back, "I have a scar on my big toe and sometimes I paint it in with nail polish."
The way I'm tracing circles on the floor is called Lapiz and she watches my toes.
"I like to break old C.D. cases into pieces and glue them back into little people that I throw away when I'm done."
Her blue-black locks whip around as I listen to her confide in me. "I like cherry wood furniture because the name sounds delicious."
The tapping of our feet with the heavy music is called Fanfarron. The other patrons watching us begin to fanfaron as well and I realize it's my turn to share again.
"When I was in grade school I drew little stick figures in the margins of my notes and pretended they talked to me since the teacher said we couldn't talk out loud."
"I suck the color off of Skittles candy," she says, "and spit them out when only white is left."
By now the music is climaxing and even the band is absorbed in our heavy metal tango. As the noise fades away I finally dip her backwards and silence returns as we stare into one another's eyes once again.
A dry scratch enters my throat and the whole crowd watches in silence as I say, "I love you."
Her gray eyes look even more like fog as she replies, "I love you too."
We stand back up, arms around each other, and glance around the room. Suddenly the room full of punks, band included, launches into applause and we Abrazo, hold together in a hugging embrace, and share our first kiss together.
User Reviews
Submitted by messmind (user info) at 2007-06-03 05:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My alter agrees with this..
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-05-29 21:47:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-05-29 20:22:05 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your execution did not live up to the concept, which is a shame because it's a charming idea.
This story needed to be written like the tango, sharp and focused. You got bogged down with the description of the moves and their names. Each section needed to pop and stop, like the dance, and end with the quirky revelations, which were a nice touch.
You need precision to mirror the tango. The story IS the tango.
I don't know if you actually need to name the moves, but you certainly need a way to describe each of them which paints a distinct picture for the reader. BRIEFLY.
This actually needs to be shorter, and some of your phrasing needs work.
Really nice idea, though.
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I agree. I had the idea and typed it up in like 15 minutes. I actually had to look up the move names online cause I don't know shit about the tango and they did seem to bog down the pace. The spelling, grammar and tense problems hurt but the idea of a quicker style seems like something to fix too.
Fact is, sadly, everything I write here is a 10 to 20 minute job I never even proof before i post. I have trouble getting myself to sit down and really try, my own convienient excuse for failure, so everything is a bit of a rough sketch I guess.
Anyway, there's already a lot I plan on changing if I ever go back and make a real draft of this and you seem to have hit the style ideas I should follow dead on.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-05-29 21:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Your execution did not live up to the concept, which is a shame because it's a charming idea.
This story needed to be written like the tango, sharp and focused. You got bogged down with the description of the moves and their names. Each section needed to pop and stop, like the dance, and end with the quirky revelations, which were a nice touch.
You need precision to mirror the tango. The story IS the tango.
I don't know if you actually need to name the moves, but you certainly need a way to describe each of them which paints a distinct picture for the reader. BRIEFLY.
This actually needs to be shorter, and some of your phrasing needs work.
Really nice idea, though.
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-05-29 13:26:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love watching ballroom dancing, I wish I could do it myself.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-05-29 12:04:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2007-05-29 11:52:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-05-29 10:03:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
At home, I sit down to pee.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-05-29 05:56:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Neato-Mosquito...
I really need to learn how to formally dance.
Of course, one usually needs a partner for something like that.
...
Not really my strong suit.
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-29 05:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-05-29 04:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to +1 this for the spelling in, well everything, but I know I've done it too.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-05-29 00:01:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hagard (user info) at 2007-05-28 20:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Reminds me of, shit I can't remember the name...
well anyway +2 for you
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-05-28 19:41:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-05-28 19:09:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn!
...double "o" in the title.