Night (A poem) (653 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.18 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by boohoofish1978.at.yahoo.co.uk> (View user info) at 2007-05-30 18:52:06 EDT
You're shallow, irregular breath
Caresses gently the nape of my neck
I mimmick the rise and fall
Of your broad chest.
With my finger tips
I follow the rythmn your heart
Drums out loudly
In the stillness of night.
I watch intently
As your eyelids dance
Your lips slowly part
And speak silent words
Whispers of nothings in my ear.
Flaying limbs
Mark the beginning of dreams
Their sequence show on your brow.
Your mind wanders
I wonder if I'm there.
I press against you
Fuse into you
Until I can't see
Where I end
And you begin.
I stir you from your slumber.
A delicate, playful
Touch of my breast
A gentle arm wraps
Protectively around me,
A lovers embrace,
Stregnth marking its ownership
I feel contented.
I feel loved.
I shiver
In its warmth
Glow
As our passion illuminates the room.
Live for this moment.
Your face finds mine
We gaze at one another
Through the darkness.
I silently pray
Dawn does not break
This moment carries on forever.
You wake
The sun is high
Your eyes wide
Lines of worry and pain
Return
Bitterness etched on your face
Your bedtime smile
Disappears
To a zero.
You dress yourself in attitude
Body ridgid
Speech terse
Uncomfortable silence deafening
To my ears.
Your heart stops beating
And blackens
As dark as the night was
The moment is lost
Gone
The beginning of the end.
User Reviews
Submitted by F.J.Bell (user info) at 2008-04-10 10:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for your invaluable contribution to http://www.ubersite.com/m/116067
Submitted by lostnphound (user info) at 2008-03-25 13:15:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BOING
Submitted by woolfe (user info) at 2008-02-12 06:44:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-02-08 08:18:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My last comment to you was a joke, you horrible slut. I suggest you get back on your knees and finish the job.
Submitted by BeforeEmily (user info) at 2008-01-31 17:02:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-25 07:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When are you going to send me those pictures of your tits, cunt?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2008-01-07 18:07:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/114141#2620085
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2007-12-03 11:29:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have too many more posts than you do, slut!
Submitted by triangle_man (user info) at 2007-11-19 17:01:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I get it
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-05-31 07:31:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2007-05-31 00:01:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this is not a poem and you are not a person
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-05-30 21:23:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Pointing out blantant errors left in place by laziness and failure to apply basic rules of English does not make one a grammar nazi. It simply encourages the author to write such that the readers are not distracted by his/her patheticly poor grasp of the language to the extent that they cannot glean the grain of intent from the chaff of unreadability. Try to do better next time.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-05-30 21:11:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-05-30 19:55:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
In desperate need of a proofread, etc etc..I like the overall theme and some of your lines. +1 because it deserves a better rating.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-05-30 19:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just repost it after you fix the typos, not a huge deal.
my godchicken is just a grammar nazi. a big fuzzy lovable grammar nazi.
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2007-05-30 19:03:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoops.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2007-05-30 19:02:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-05-30 18:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First word a typo? Unlucky.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-05-30 18:59:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
just so you know, ALT + F4 runs auto-spellcheck on Ubersite, try it now
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2007-05-30 18:58:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It was okay
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2007-05-30 18:54:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Steaming turds
caress the length of my screen
Dropped by you
===
learn the difference between you're, and your