Tinfoil Lance Bass (870 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.38 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by icarus (View user info) at 2007-06-04 12:17:56 EDT
Once upon a time there was a little boy named Billy Combat. Billy lost his parents when he was very young, which is neither here nor there really, except to say that he was a disorganized little fuck from the get-go.
Since Billy had no parents and no home, he had to muck about on the streets with the other urchins, dancing for pennies. That's really an emo story, though, so let's move on to Doctor Candyfloss, who built robots for world peace. One robot's name was Tinfoil Lance Bass, and he liked to go to raves every night at Club Queer. Doctor Candyfloss considered this the culminating failure of his career, and went on to develop a particularly homophobic strain of gingivitis.
"Why hello there Billy Combat," Tinfoil said. He was stopped at a red light in his built-in pink Lexus.
"Gee," said Billy, looking up into the heavenly effulgence that was the purple triangle disco ball dangling from Tinfoil's rearview mirror. "Gosh."
"Would you like to go to a rave with me?" Asked Lance Bass, running a seductive finger over his built-in cup holder.
"Will I get to wear glowsticks?" Asked Billy.
"BeauCOUP de glowsticks." Exclaimed Lance.
"Will I get to dance with boys?" Asked Billy.
"BeauCOUP de boys!" Exaggerated Lance.
"Sounds tres ghey!" And so they both hopped in the Yaris and went to Club Queer, where they drank a bucket of suds and danced all night with stupid fucking pink triangle glowstick bangles. They never brought about world peace, but what the fuck; I mean why would you name a robot Tinfoil Lance Bass in the first place?
THE END
User Reviews
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-05 13:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I KILLED TEEPHPHAH AGAIN!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2007-06-04 22:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
not feeling it
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry, but I hated this
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And ghola knows funny like Bo knows baseball. 4 reelz!!
In other news, this:
"Gee," said Billy . . . . "Gosh."
Is the greatest dialogue ever written in all of human history.
A +2 is an insult to this masterwork but alas is all I have to give. Besides my life and whatever honor I may possess.
<ritualistically disembowels self>
<remembers as life's last wretched breath slips from his lips that it would have been nice to set out some paper towels or at least some moist towelettes to help prevent unsightly stains>
<dies in shame>
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-06-04 22:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sHgOuw4wi4w&mode=related&search=
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-06-04 21:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-04 20:45:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Do ber deer!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-06-04 18:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oSb1Orv_shE
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-06-04 17:54:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
telephone staple cabbage monkeyfish
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-04 17:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-04 17:29:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
So does Billy Combat :(
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-04 16:07:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-04 09:23:42 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cockloving faggot below
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Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-04 09:22:00 PDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't read. I'll say it for you.
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BOTH of you suck an amazing amount of cock
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-04 14:33:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-06-04 14:11:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-04 13:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-04 13:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This story might change someone's life. Change it for the better, change it for the worse - who knows?
It probably won't, but it might.
How does that make you feel?
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Moderately hungry actually.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-04 13:18:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This story might change someone's life. Change it for the better, change it for the worse - who knows?
It probably won't, but it might.
How does that make you feel?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:59:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
SWEET. COOKIES PLS.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, I'm her brunette daytime stand-in.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ARE YOU THE SIW? I KEEP GETTING CONFUSED. YOU PALESKINS ALL LOOK THE SAME TO ME.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is why we get along so well, you and I. It's not the purple leprechauns you sent to my office to sing pirate songs whenever I get an email, or the peyote laced brownies you sent with the note "Eat this and you'll know the REAL reason for rocket powered nail clippers". No, it's none of these things. It's the simple advice you gave me when I had lost my tweezers.
"Susie," you said, "You're not meant to wear ice skates at all times. I don't care if you ARE Canadian. It's just not socially acceptable."
You saved my marriage, Icky. And for that, I thank you.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:37:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
YOU'RE ALL PREJUDICE! I'M NATIVE AMERICAN, DAMNIT!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled, but then again I'm overworked these days and could just be cracking up.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fail.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
not feeling it
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:23:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Cockloving faggot below
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:22:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I can't read. I'll say it for you.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BeauCOUP
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:19:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry, but I hated this
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-06-04 12:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment