MURDER FIGHT: Part 10 (End) (365 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.28 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awj002 (View user info) at 2007-06-05 09:13:30 EDT
Part 9: http://www.ubersite.com/m/108958
**
The thunderous roar of the bus driver broke in: "Everyone stop fighting. I want you to put that gun down right this second. Son, I'm talking to you. Put it down."
A calming sensation came over Ricky, for which he quickly overcompensated with harsh words.
"Everyone is gonna shut their mouth until we get to school," Ricky said, the gun shaking in his hands. "Then we're gonna get to school and we're gonna listen to Mr. Hawkins, and we're gonna raise our hands in class, and smile, and eat our turkey and gravy over..." He stumbled over 'mashed potatoes.'
In the embarassed and frightened silence, Ricky realized that the bus was not moving. It had been parked in front of the school for nearly five minutes. "Everyone can go," he said.
They left, except for Tom, and of course Ricky stayed. He held the .45 at arm's length and aimed it at his own mouth. He opened wide to allow the bullet safe passage, made a slight guttural "ah," then closed his mouth, scanned the barrel across his face, squinted into its darkness, and finally moved it back to his mouth. Tom knelt on the seat across the aisle, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. "Bam," Ricky said, meeting his eyes. "Through the back of my throat, through the glass. You can get a picture."
Tom eased back. "There's not enough light," he said.
"I'll move to the next row."
"Let's just go inside."
Ricky shrugged and uncocked the pistol. "Yeah. Okay. I'm not sure where I was going with that." He stood and stretched a little, wiping fugitive tears from his eyes. "Here's your gun back."
"Thanks." As they walked toward the school, Tom said, "Too bad you didn't use it. But, at the same time, good thing you didn't use it."
Another shrug from Ricky. "That's pretty much how it goes," he said, and they went inside.
THE END (?)
**
(Obviously alot of you wanted more ultra-violence, so let me know if you feel too let down by this ending. I can push the story back into the school. But originally my intent was just to bring Ricky to the point of moral decision-making where he decided whether or not to kill.)
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-08 11:44:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Liar. You didn't end this.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-06-06 02:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You were absolutely rocking until you hit: They left....
Submitted by PhillipTheGreat (user info) at 2007-06-05 18:43:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have NO idea what this series is about at all.
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-05 18:22:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2007-06-05 14:49:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sinistral - I'm glad that you liked the series and I'll see what I can do about advancing the story. Might be a week or so, though, before the next installment.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-05 13:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2007-06-05 11:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. I've been a fan of this series, and I did feel a bit let down by the ending. Not because of a lack of violence or anything, but I wanted to find out more about the Great Terror War, the parents, etc. With an ending like this there never seemed to be any sort of a plot or purpose.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2007-06-05 09:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Uh. Kill.