Slamming the Door - A Retro Challenge (524 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Susie Derkins (View user info) at 2007-06-05 10:03:05 EDT
First two paragraphs are from: "Finish This Story" http://www.ubersite.com/m/101408 by Retrospect
You. I'm so sick of you. Everybody, we're all so very sick of you. You, with your stupid brown hair that you wear short, even in the winter, are on our very last nerve. You. Your name is Mickey, but everybody calls you T. It's annoying. But yes, your name is Mickey, T for short, and this is your story.
Remember that time that you and your friend walked around Harvard Square telling all the girls you'd meet that you recognized them from that class you shared, even though you didn't go to Harvard, you didn't even graduate high school, you piece of shit, but you told them you recognized them from class? And you and your friend, I can't remember his name, it's insignificant really, but you and he would bullshit your way through a conversation with the young students, telling them you were younger than you really were, and saying how the downfall of most of the student body would be the rush of idealism in their freshman year, and the crush of realism in the so-called real world after graduation. You'd say how you hated idealists. So you'd seem wise beyond your years, you'd use words like idealists. When they'd ask what you were, you'd respond, ideally I'm a realist. That always got a laugh. But it never got you anywhere, did it? Nothing ever gets you anywhere.
How about when you decided to become an "artiste"? Remember that? You decided that since you were so good at drawing people, that you should make a career of it. Admittedly, you were an excellent copycat. Nothing you drew or painted was from your imagination; you needed something in front of you to draw it. You weren't an artist; you were a fucking human photocopier. Your design work was hackneyed and mostly stolen from other people. You were oblivious to the fact that you were a plagiarist and a thief. I suppose everyone's a thief, though. There is truly nothing new under the sun. But you insisted on going to art school to "hone your craft". After a year, you invited everyone you knew to your exhibition. We all arrived and it was just your drawings, along with everyone else's, displayed in the glass cases that lined the school's hallway. You didn't even realize that it wasn't just about you and "your work". You didn't seem to care and kept crowing about how fabulous you were and that your genius was finally being recognized. I couldn't help but laugh when you graduated and realized that illustrators were a dime a dozen in this city. You were crushed, and everyone around you privately celebrated. That didn't stop you, though. You took all your drawings, framed them, and gave them as Christmas gifts that year.
You've got an answer to everything, don't you? You always have had a similar experience, no matter what the story. I mean, Jesus Christ, if someone told you that they had cancer, you'd tell them about the time you thought you had melanoma on your arm, but it turned out to be a chocolate chip you'd leaned on. And the one-upmanship....man, you don't need to impress everyone. All you're doing is pissing them off. And for the love of God, would you stop drinking? When you drink, your motormouth goes into overdrive! No one can get a word in, it's like you're preaching rather than participating in a conversation. You also seem to lose that barely functioning brain-to-mouth filter when you drink. You don't realize until the next day that you've blurted out something you shouldn't have. You can make all the lame-ass apologies you want, its too fucking late. You need to learn when to shut the fuck up.
You ever wonder why you can't seem to keep a friend for more than a few months? You ever wonder why people seem so eager to befriend you in the beginning and then seem to drift away after a few months? It's because you're a fraud. You act like a completely different person when you meet new people. You're quiet and shy and say just enough to get people interested. As you get more comfortable around them, the real you comes seeping out slowly. It's so slow and subtle of a change that they don't really see it coming, but it slaps them in the face one day: you really are an annoying jerk. They can't quite put their finger on what it is that annoys them, but they know they can't stand to be around you anymore. The reason eludes everyone but me. I know exactly what it is: You're an egomaniac who has nothing to be egomaniacal about.
You're nothing special, despite your beliefs. You are not unique. You were not meant for a special purpose. You are not going to be remembered for anything substantial. You're going to work a menial job until you're 65, collect your pension, take up a cliché hobby and then die. Your family and whoever else was obligated to tolerate you will go to your funeral and then forget you the moment they drive out of the cemetery. You will have no legacy. You will have no awards named after you. Your work will not be revered posthumously like Van Gogh. There will be no TV movies based on your life. Your name will die along with you and exist only as a coincidence in the phone book. Normally, that would make me a little sad. But in this case, I feel pretty bloody gratified. Have a nice life, and please don't ever darken my doorstep again.
User Reviews
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2007-06-06 17:39:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I put on my wizard robe and hat and cast level 1000 Fuck of the Infinite.
Sit on it.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2007-06-05 20:08:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As I Lay Dying to return in +/- one month.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-05 19:18:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-05 14:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Susie = AUTO +2
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-05 13:31:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-05 12:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot to buy SIW something for our anniversary :(
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-05 12:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icky - what do you want with a girl's watch?
Hi O.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-05 11:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously, dude. Watch. I want it when you are dead.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-05 11:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hi Susie.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2007-06-05 10:59:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I have your watch when you are dead?..
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-05 10:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
we've met?