rob_berg and O present - APW: Phil and Error (Written All Over His Face) (1627 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryLabels: apw
Rating: 1.28 on 54 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2007-06-06 17:59:55 EDT
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User Reviews
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2007-06-08 21:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-07 12:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I still want stromboli.
Submitted by Zebra (user info) at 2007-06-07 12:38:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You both can do much better, but I like the idea of collaboration.
Submitted by lungfish (user info) at 2007-06-07 10:33:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good man
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-06-07 09:59:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-06-07 09:16:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-06 21:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-06 21:57:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-06 21:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Good to see Yozz joining Uber spoogiest circlejerk.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-06 21:29:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooh, now I want stromboli.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-06 21:23:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2007-06-06 20:49:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-06 20:44:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I come back from my stromboli and 4 PBR's to find THIS happy horseshit?
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2007-06-06 19:53:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-06 19:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
good girls are gone cuz of the unibrow
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 19:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Inga: "He must have an ENORMOUS Schwanstueker!!!"
Dr. Frankenstein: "That goes without saying."
Orgasmo - I LOVE your poetry!!!!!!
*splurt*
*splurt*
---
Look at you!
Quick study.
Submitted by Yozz (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Inga: "He must have an ENORMOUS Schwanstueker!!!"
Dr. Frankenstein: "That goes without saying."
Orgasmo - I LOVE your poetry!!!!!!
*splurt*
*splurt*
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I'm outta here for the night. Sniff you jerks later.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:37:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mel Brooks = demi god.
Just thinking about Blazing Saddles makes me giggle uncontrollably.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:34:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nevermind then forget I said anything. *backs away slowly....stopping to itch*
Gene Wilder was one of my favorite actors and still is to this day.
Sure he was good in Willy Wonka, but Mel Brooks brought out the best in him.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(of)
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
no...that's the herpes.
I was waiting for an opportune time to break it to ya....
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no no... that's more on an itch.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yup, one of my favorite comedies of all time.
I don't care how many times I watch it, I laugh heartily.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:30:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
<horse whine><Thunder> etc.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:28:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Putting on the Ritzzzzzz!
Frau Blucher!
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:27:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
no...that's the herpes.
I was waiting for an opportune time to break it to ya....
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:26:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
---
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm laughing WITH you, rob.
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What an odd sensation. It... it... tingles.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:26:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm more of a Peter Boyle Man, myself.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:24:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the makeup they did on Robert DeNiro's version of the monster.
If you were actually going to make a monster, it would probably look a lot like he did.
Hmmmmm, that sounds like a fun project to do.
Y'all might not see me for a while. I...umm....have something to do.....umm.....yeah.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
drats!
15 seconds and those coveted +2s would have been mine!
ALLL MINE!
boo.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone tried to convince me one time that the monster's name was Adam.
They so vehemently argued their side that I re-read the book.
Drake and Foolproof both called me on it immediately.
---
Oh so what - I'm INVISIBLE now?
>sigh<
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BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm laughing WITH you, rob.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:23:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone tried to convince me one time that the monster's name was Adam.
They so vehemently argued their side that I re-read the book.
Drake and Foolproof both called me on it immediately.
---
Oh so what - I'm INVISIBLE now?
>sigh<
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That forensicgirl...so beautiful....so generous....
Like a Thin little Buddha....with blonde hair. And no penis.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:20:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Someone tried to convince me one time that the monster's name was Adam.
They so vehemently argued their side that I re-read the book.
Drake and Foolproof both called me on it immediately.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:14:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
He never gives him a name
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it has no name but is variously referred to as "the creature," "the fiend," "the dæmon," or "the wretch." After the novel was adapted to film, the monster became best known in popular imagination as "Frankenstein". However this was incongruous with the original novel — Frankenstein was the name of the creature's creator, and not the monster itself.
Thanks Wikipedia
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(trick question below)
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:13:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Frankenstein's monster was it's name
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Trivia time!!
+2 on the last 5 posts of the first person who answers this question.....
What did Dr. Frankenstein name his monster?
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:09:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you worked Stefani into a poem, huh? Rob's quite an influence, I see..
---
With any luck by next week we'll be able to see what sort of influence I am on him.
---
It is on.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:09:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Steffani ain't no stanza back girl
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was either the above piece, or this:
If I stood thee in place
And strapped dicks on your waist
My, what a look you would have on your face
Probably set across his forehead. Or farhead to some. You know who you are.
O out.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:07:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God bless Phil.
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:07:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just Good.
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Exactly. I'm hoping this post can effortlessly bridge the gap between APW and SPT.
--------
TWAPPS (Harmony)
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i dunno, gene wilder looked pretty iffy.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:06:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you worked Stefani into a poem, huh? Rob's quite an influence, I see..
---
With any luck by next week we'll be able to see what sort of influence I am on him.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:05:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
She means Frankenstein's monster. Noonie is not a fan of Shelley.
Or any of the other poet's wives. She writes furious shift-key-less hate poetry about them all.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just Good.
---
Exactly. I'm hoping this post can effortlessly bridge the gap between APW and SPT.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
he looks like a peachy frankenstein.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So you worked Stefani into a poem, huh? Rob's quite an influence, I see..
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Just Good.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:02:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that guy is borderline ginger - what do you expect?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:01:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So Rob offered a piece called "Phil."
This is about what "Phil"s look is telling me.
He's considering an affair with a girl who works at Starbucks because she's 19 and gives him the eye sometimes. He's twenty years into a boring marriage and isn't thrilled anymore by where he is. He's sure if maybe he makes a move she'll be up for it, because it's clear she has daddy issues and doing a guy his age will be just the sort of thing to pay him back for never showing up for that equestrian lesson in 1986.
But really, does Phil want an affair? Ethel's a good wife, and a good woman. She keeps the house clean, cooks a decent roast. Even does anal once a year - begrudingly sure but she does it for him. She even bought him that pair of really nice shoes when they were in Macao all those years ago, with her own money. Even though she didn't have to. "Why did you get me these shoes, dear? I thought you were going to get your nails done?" he'd asked, like an idiot. She'd merely replied, "Your toes look good in strap sandals."
Is it worth the mess of a divorce?
Thank God they don't have kids. But still.
It'd break her heart, and does he really want to start all over again just for what - let's be honest here - will just be five minutes of hot, wet sex? Is it worth the adrenaline rush and the exhaustion and her fingers in his sweaty ginger chest hair?
Fuck, what if she collapses?
So Phil just stands there in his red sweater with a rod in his pocket and he thinks about it. He thinks about it all.
He generally muses on men his age and this, their timeless struggle.
He's totally looking forward to his latte though.
Not the foam farts.
What if the Starbucks girl likes them? What if after he leaves she'll come by his seat and sniff out where his ass had been?
Do you know how much he'd have to pay to get someone to do that discreetly in Vegas??
Oh well.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-06 18:01:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1