We're not ready for Round 5, which I guess makes last night the 100th flash in an all too familiar pan. (747 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.63 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chronic (View user info) at 2007-06-08 13:56:41 EDT
When I was 13, I had my first serious girlfriend. We'll call her K. She was sweet and funny and actually, really sexy for a 13 year old. She didn't go to my school but we never saw that as an issue. In fact, I think we both liked it better because we never had to deal with rumors or whispers behind our backs. The only people we had in common were the closest friends we had in the world. It was probably perfect. Unfortunately, being young and stupid presents the problem of young stupidity and mine was more apparent than hers, it would seem.
A new girl came to my school that year and we hit it off in a way I had never really known possible. We became truly close in a very short time and even though I had my little girlfriend that made me happy and she had her little boyfriend that seemed to entertain her, we both knew what was happening at some level. It took a long time to arise, but when the opportunity finally arose, I took it. I broke K's heart and I pursued something that seemed to be of great value to me. I never had a good reason to leave K, but I did anyway, and whether or not it was what I SHOULD have done has always been a source of silent debate in the deepest recesses of my subconscious mind. Three weeks later, it was over, and I had made the best friend I've ever had. To be honest, she's still my best friend.
It was too late for K and I, though. I had already driven nails into the coffin and time moved on. A little over a year later, K and I found ourselves looking eachother in the eyes again and things seemed to click. We still didn't go to school together and it was still one of the finer points of our relationship. A few months flickered by and I fell head over heels like only a 15 year old knows how. We should have been eachother's firsts, but separated, we had found other firsts of our own. Seconds would simply never work for me and K. Next thing I knew, she had broken my heart. I knew there was something entirely fair about this turn of events, but secretly I hoped for some unforeseeable rekindling in the future.
Another year went by and whatever it is that people call "it," it came back. A little drunken and a little sloppy, but it came nonetheless. We were just...too fucking electric together. Virtually anytime K and I crossed paths since the age of 13, there is one conversation we've always had. It doesn't matter who says what because it always changes, but it goes something like this.
"So, we're still madly in love, right?"
"Completely."
"We're never going to work though, are we?"
"I doubt it."
"Kiss me?"
"Always..."
It was weird. I never understood it and I'd like to think that she didn't either, but somehow it all clicked again, all the time. It's barely not worth explaining, but suffice to say that it didn't take very long for me to break her heart again and it took about the same amount of time for her to break mine. We both walked away and it didn't look like either of us was ever going to look back, but a couple seasons later..
"So, we're still madly in love, right?"
We hooked up on and off and off and on and then decided to give it another shot. Deep down, I think I thought it was the one last shot I had to give, and quite probably the last shot I'd ever get, but it was doomed from the start. It would seem that she had never gotten over the first time and I had never gotten over the second and neither of us had gotten over the third. We tried anyway, but the jaded nature of our mutally restless thoughts beneath the glossy veneer of what everyone seemed to think of as fate, was simply too much to bear.
Anyone: "K and Chronic, at it again. You two are perfect, aren't you?"
Her: "We're something LIKE perfect. That's for sure."
Me (whispering in her ear): "Perfect storm maybe.."
We would both laugh.
By the time Round 4 reached the point of hitting the shitter, it was like having a quiet breakdown for both of us. Everything was exactly as it should be right up until the morning we woke up together and knew it wasn't. I knew I couldn't blame her for what was happening but she said it was all her fault. That time around, we had broken our own hearts, irreparably I thought.
Off at college, we chased our own interests and desires. We'd collide for a weekend here and there or we'd scream at eachother in the rain during a summer thunderstorm before wild sex on the hood of a car or at the edge of the surf. It never felt like there was a future, though. It was ever only the past, and the moment in time for her and I.
We walked into eachother at a bar last night. Well, we backed into eachother but when we touched, somehow I knew it was going to be her when I turned around, as unlikely as that may seem. To this day, she's the most beautiful thing I've ever known in the world.
C: "I.."
K: "I know."
C: "I broke yours."
K: "I broke yours back."
C: "Heh..then we broke eachother's."
K: "I think it was mostly spite."
C: "What about when we broke our own?"
K: "How could a couple broken hearts fall in love?"
C: "I thought we were still madly in love from the first time."
K: "We are."
I heard one of her girls say, "Who's that guy?"
I heard one of my boys say. "Who's that girl?"
C: "Ki...Dance with me?"
K: "Always, baby."
We were just a couple of heartbroken heartbreakers out there on the dance floor last night, but everyone in the room thought we were in love.
I guess the difference is that we're the only ones that could be sure of it.
User Reviews
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-22 02:21:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes indeed.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-06-22 01:13:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by blonde (user info) at 2007-06-16 12:25:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zwerg (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:14:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written, nice
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-06-10 12:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If I was picking a mate based on a superficial primal instinctive basis, she'd definitely be it. We would have the cutest fucking kids on the planet.
Submitted by camarilla (user info) at 2007-06-09 18:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
sometimes, you end up with her forever.
god love those on-again, off-again 'relationships'.
I have two kids and a marriage by mine.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-09 12:57:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-08 19:50:16 BST (#)
Ranking: -2
Too "mushy".
-------------------------
Never thought I would hear Shlongy say 'mushy'
It's like Jesus saying 'Fuck'
Submitted by lechuza (user info) at 2007-06-09 11:27:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-06-09 01:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I never stray far munkey. I just go through periods of inconspicuous lurking.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-09 01:23:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heartbreaker.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-08 23:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
When you were 19 I first laid eyes on you
The small stream that ran through the centre of town carried your name to me
Your hair was dark and your eyes were a frosty blue
Then they put me in jail til you were 23
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2007-06-08 21:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Glad to see you're still around.
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2007-06-08 21:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....I must be getting old and mushy...I misted up.
Yay for Snoo-Snoo! (or as Zap Brannigan said: "The spirit is willing,
but the flesh is bruised and spongy")
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2007-06-08 20:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-06-08 20:10:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Truthfully, I can't imagine "hope" having much of anything to do with it. We've never really been able to get out of eachothers' way. haha
Submitted by SunnyG (user info) at 2007-06-08 19:46:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. And I'm not being sarcastic or anything, but I really hope you 2 find each other again.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-08 16:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2007-06-08 15:38:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It had the hearts next to it. You knew what you were getting into, old man.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-08 14:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Too "mushy".
Submitted by Void_Where_Prohibited (user info) at 2007-06-08 14:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written. An enjoyable read.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-06-08 14:30:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A good read. Can't say I share the experience, but now I understand those who do a bit better. Well done.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-06-08 14:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I know how this feels
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2007-06-08 14:06:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Hilarity_Ensues (user info) at 2007-06-08 14:04:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chronic, I'd swear you were my ex with the things you've written here.