The Pencil (285 hits)
Category: HumorRating: -1 on 1 review (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by miles larson <viciouscorndog.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2007-06-09 16:12:31 EDT
The pencil is the most magnifiscent item that we all use. It is a gateway to our imagination and the utensil to display it to the world. Exploring this device can reveal many new perspectives of the world around us.
In order to understand this object of mystery, we must observe it in its natural habitat. The pencil is a quiet creature, usually resting in offices, schools, and any other place it can find work. It has a wooden interior and the exterior is mostly a yellow paint. On one end it has a tip made of graphite and the other, an eraser. Though beauty this object is not lacking, the taste makes a sharp contrast from it. The graphite tip gives little to offer and the wood and paint just tastes like a sea of nothingness. The eraser is the worst of all. It tastes like burnt rubber and paper, making the most remarkable of objects also the most revolting. Still the pencil is miraculous.
Few know that the pencil is very versatile. Of course the pencil can dance along the paper, writing and doodling during miscellaneous classes, but it can also be used for other results. The pencil can be a projectile, thrown like a boomerang, at others. The annoying kids that sit behind you find pleasure in poking you with it until you want to hit them in the face. Even the erasor has a purpose. It goes back in time to delete mistakes of its past. All of these purposes make the pencil an essential item for everyday life.
Earlier forms of the pencil even have historical value. These were used to create important documents such as the Declaration of Independence, meaning the pencil is a patriotic item.
However a monster has taken over the modern era. The computer, a flag burning deviant, is devouring the usefulness of pencils. With its handy dandy backspace button and fast keyboarding action, it makes writing a paper too long and tedious. It must be stopped! The pencil will stab, like a knife, into the moniter of the tyrant! The computer will find itself useless with only double clicks to defend itself. Please help aid us in destroying these unpatriotic oppressors for the righteousness of pencils. Together we will make the streets run red with ink!
By Miles Larson
User Reviews
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-09 16:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
you eat pencils?