The Hitchers World........ (1169 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.38 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sancho Panza (View user info) at 2007-06-11 09:05:08 EDT
The green thread poked out from the edges of the machine. It was still long. This was good. He lowered his head into the grass and it buzzed steadily. He did not go any closer. Jakes hands and arms hurt from the vibration and he wanted to catch his breath. The grass did not know its time was near. It did not understand what the sound of an engine meant. The sound meant he was making things beautiful again......Tom hated lawn mowers, but there he was, creeping towards it.
On the other hand, Bowie loved lawnmowers, he imagined this crazed monster at the bottom of the machine going mad, really gobbling that grass up, poking his fingers out and snaffling the worms, sucking them into his mouth with a big *POP*
But that's another tale.
When I was a kid I was raised with Tom and Jake on the planet called 'The Thin White Duke'. Bowie loved it there, it was his home, and he used to get his tin foil shuttle back to earth whenever he had to do a gig.
'The Thin White Duke' was this galactic anomaly that no one knows about; it's the best, similar to Texas but sheep with no testicles and more laws. We had some crazy days, often fighting over Fats Domino and Chuck Berry.
Those were some crazy days. Berry never used to share; used to drive Bowie mad, one day Bowie pulled out a video tape, Berry had been videoing him on the toilet. Bowie was outraged and pulled out a headless teddy bear and shoved it down Berry's throat, all was ok and Berry never misbehaved again.
On the third Monday in every week (Our weeks ran from Monday to Monday with 3 Tuesdays in between and four bourbon biscuits) Bowie used to stand there in his white suit, collars up drinking vodka from a toads eye, he was mad!! He always treated me well though, taking me aside and teaching me the workings of psychedelic folk, man did he love talking about 'Space Oddity' and introducing me to Peter Noones' flowery shirts. Noone wasn't there just his shirts, they ruled the planet, dictators really, they hated Bowie and his androgynous manner. Threatening to open every faulty depth perception avenue possible.
When the sun went down, Bowie turned into a new man and spiked his hair up and talked to the weirdest people.... One time he told me he met the moon and took him to Macys' where they shopped for hours and hours, the moon loved to shop, he'd buy everything electrical he could find, which was mental as he could never use any of it. After a bit of afternoon tea they would head for a jazz dance club called 'The Vortex'. He used to dress up in silver foil, put an eye patch on and dye his hair red, awww good days. We often used to build dens and pretend we were wearing factions, battling for lima beans.
There were some horrible spiders on the planet, 1973 was the worst year, spiders everywhere,eating biscuits and drowning lambs. Bowie was furious, shaking his finger madly at them. Bowie hated spiders, couldn't trust them, made sure he had his spider repellent on him at all times. They always ate his favourite abbey crunches, I didn't like this hatred from Bowie, these spiders were only doing there job....bin spiders.....used to collect our rubbish every other Friday. Anyway then I left, cited artistic differences and never heard from Bowie again.
Tom and Jake stayed.......
Wonder what they are all doing now.............
User Reviews
Submitted by billrhine (user info) at 2009-03-25 18:20:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
hitchthisboyfiddler
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-08-23 08:38:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow what an exciting day it is today, someone should tell me something exciting and fun!
Submitted by Timmaaaaah (user info) at 2007-07-12 10:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ChristPuncher (user info) at 2007-07-10 07:12:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW MORE WERDS
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-28 10:24:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-18 07:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
SURE!!!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-06-16 12:14:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:58:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Drake (user info) at 2007-06-11 21:23:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's more like it.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Also bosh. Still not as bosh as Bosh but bosh, that notwithstanding.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2007-06-11 14:43:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You are clearly gay for the hitcher.
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-06-11 13:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
god I miss doing acid
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-06-11 13:29:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Particle. If you have to ask, you'll never know boy.
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-06-11 13:17:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Okay, it was creative...that doesn't always mean that it's good.
-1 for making my mind ache.
+2 for it being pretty well written chaos.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-11 13:05:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I actually thought this was about cocaine and not the person. Little do I now....either way, it wasn't a +2.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-11 12:16:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-06-11 12:15:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And what the fuck is a slag!?
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-06-11 11:02:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's about me Shlongy you slag.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-11 10:47:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-11 15:44:41 BST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what this was about.
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It's 'creative' writing
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-11 10:45:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lemmy could be interesting....im thinking John Denver....
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-11 10:44:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what this was about.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-06-11 10:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 EI!
nutter :)
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-11 10:40:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that was cool
now do lemmy
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
thanks for linkkkkk
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Let me put you in the picture particle you slag. As Brits we reserve the right to be absolutely fucking mental. It's part of our charm boy.
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You both have mental health issues.
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.northwestdressage.com/images/horse.jpg
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Trevor without his tickets boy. He only takes them off before he kills someone you slag.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yes Mr Particle Man.......
Submitted by particle_man58 (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:20:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
.....wha?
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yar.
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-06-11 09:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's something very wrong with you boy.