You are Twenty-Three and Think You Know These Things: (1938 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.12 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ghola (View user info) at 2007-06-11 16:31:52 EDT
Soda isn't good for you, but the cans are worth three cents.
Your friends aren't going to grow out of video games, but you might.
How close the dumpster is to your apartment determines how clean the kitchen is.
Fast food isn't okay.
You need more than one set of forks.
Your friends will grow up to be drug addicts, transvestites, construction workers, lawyers, child abusers, and firefighters, even though you all wanted to be astronauts when you were six.
You shouldn't keep rejection letters, receipts or birthday cards.
You can't actually catch a cold from being in the rain.
Fruit rots quicker than you can eat it and costs more than ramen noodles.
You shouldn't look through the drawers in your parents' bathroom.
You should spend time outside, even if your yard is a gravel parking lot and some guy is waxing his car with the base booming so hard that pinecones fall out of the tree across the street.
Lots of people will tell you how to be.
Coworkers come and go and they probably won't call when they're gone.
You won't turn into a twinkie if you eat too many, but you will get fat.
Artists aren't anything.
User Reviews
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-11-09 12:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-10-06 00:25:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Gholatime!
Submitted by carbon (user info) at 2007-07-27 21:03:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ikari_shinji (user info) at 2007-07-26 15:17:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2DIE FUCKING BITCH
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2007-07-13 03:17:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That line about your friends-yup. Makes me feel like you too know the feeling of everyone around you settling into defined roles while you are still lost in the ether.
Submitted by Embryo (user info) at 2007-06-14 21:02:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I just turned 23..some of it's true =)
Hi Ubersite.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-14 07:49:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, Cadrach...
... who are you again???
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2007-06-13 16:50:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-13 03:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
You wanna go where people know,
people are all the same,
You wanna go where everybody knows
your name.
Full Lyrics never actually aired
Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you've got;
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot.
Wouldn't you like to get away?
All those night when you've got no lights,
The check is in the mail;
And your little angel
Hung the cat up by it's tail;
And your third fiance didn't show;
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.
Roll out of bed, Mr. Coffee's dead;
The morning's looking bright;
And your shrink ran off to Europe,
And didn't even write;
And your husband wants to be a girl;
Be glad there's one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came
Submitted by Cadrach (user info) at 2007-06-13 00:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-12 01:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The cuteness of being twenty-something and homely only goes so far.
______________________
That's all right there, lil' man.
Someday, when you're a BIG BOY and your prick can get erect and the pimples go away, you'll discover "Women."
Oh at first, like all pre-pubescents, you'll just want tug away at you flaccid toy to thoughts of "Dream Girls" like porn stats and celebrities. But eventually you'll come to understand that BIG BOYS grow out of those fantasies. You wanna be a BIG BOY, don't you???
__________________________________________________________________________________
Just shut the flaming fuck up.
You are everything that is wrong with this site.
The fact that you are the creepiest freak on this site has nothing to do with the shit you write about. It's that your cheeks don't even blush when you type something like what you've written above. Do you somehow consider yourself a BIG BOY, or maybe even a MAN because you tug away at <i>your<i> flacid toy to the 80 Gigs of barely legal goth porn you've got on your hard drive? At least those girls are "real" right? Not plastic bimbos or something immature like that.
I will bet anyone here that the KING has an entire harddrive used exclusively for porn. $20.
You are just such a pathetic piece of crap. I can barely restrain myself. But I am sure that the words "Murder/Suicide" are in your future. Except it won't be the kind they write books or make movies about. It will be the kind where people just shake their heads and change the channel, almost completely missing your entire fifteen seconds.
I'll bet ghola hates you too. She's sick of you trying to play white knight for her and she's disgusted by your clumsy attempts at flirting. She's just too scared to say anything. Because you are off your fucking nut.
Get a job, assmunch.
Submitted by TechnoRatty (user info) at 2007-06-12 18:33:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nostalga.....ahhhhh
wish I was young, in the good old days.......
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2007-06-12 18:01:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2007-06-12 17:48:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Artists are everything. Without them, you'd have no music, movies, books, architecture... You know, all that stuff that you do when you're not at work. I think they call them "interests".
That snotty little line very nearly ruined my day.
__
If I remember correctly, ghola IS an artist, so I don't think she meant it to be offensive... as an artist myself though, I find, which I'm guessing she did, and so, probably, have you, that it's a tough world in which to be, sucessful, recognized or even taken seriously.
This post makes me a little sad though, in realizing how short a time I have to enjoy some things before I start being concerned about them... soda and fast food making an appearance on the list :)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:15:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-11 22:06:34 PDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The cuteness of being twenty-something and homely only goes so far.
______________________
That's all right there, lil' man.
Someday, when you're a BIG BOY and your prick can get erect and the pimples go away, you'll discover "Women."
-----
the pimples will never go away, thanks to the steroids
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:04:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then when you get into your 30's, you realize that a lot of what you thought was important isn't and vice versa.
=============================================
if you are single at this point you have a 67% chance of dying alone and in the dark.
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2007-06-12 13:35:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate Artists whose entire identity is being an artist
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2007-06-12 12:57:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say art is worth everything but most artists are pretentious and much too self-absorbed.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2007-06-12 12:39:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:32:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:15:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Artists are everything. Without them, you'd have no music, movies, books, architecture... You know, all that stuff that you do when you're not at work. I think they call them "interests".
That snotty little line very nearly ruined my day.
---
Yeah, me too. That's why I included it. Reference the title and realize that these aren't a listing of my opinions (that's why it's in second person.)
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:01:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Artists are everything. Without them, you'd have no music, movies, books, architecture... You know, all that stuff that you do when you're not at work. I think they call them "interests".
That snotty little line very nearly ruined my day.
-----
But nine out of ten people who call themselves "artists" are talentless hacks who are trying to appear cool because they have no motivation.
That'd be like me calling myself a "code artist" because I think it sounds better than "unemployed moron who dicks around on a computer in mom's basement all day."
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:27:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I do agree that people who fancy themselves artists and have no real talent to speak of are worthless. Genuine artists, however, make the world go 'round. No, that's pussy. No, no, I was right the first time - it's artists.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:18:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Artists are everything. Without them, you'd have no music, movies, books, architecture... You know, all that stuff that you do when you're not at work. I think they call them "interests".
That snotty little line very nearly ruined my day.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:38:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Whatever age you are;
The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Keep Safe people x
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:10:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-12 05:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Artists aren't anything.
-Neither are writers.
---
I was referencing writers.
Submitted by HateMudkips (user info) at 2007-06-12 05:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
things you know at 24
Soda isn't good for you, but the cans are worth three cents.
-five in oregon
Your friends aren't going to grow out of video games, but you might.
-did
save for GTA: San Andreas when you want to kill your transvestite supervisor.
How close the dumpster is to your apartment determines how clean the kitchen is.
-own home- trash and recycle bins placed wherever i please
Fast food isn't okay.
-never was
You need more than one set of forks.
-For the pretentious fucks. No more dinner parties for you
Your friends will grow up to be drug addicts, transvestites, construction workers, lawyers, child abusers, and firefighters, even though you all wanted to be astronauts when you were six.
-You forgot "dead at 19"
You shouldn't keep rejection letters, receipts or birthday cards.
-Unless you analyze handwriting.
You can't actually catch a cold from being in the rain.
-You CAN catch AIDS from the pool. The closed one.
Fruit rots quicker than you can eat it and costs more than ramen noodles.
-Learn to properly store produce.
You shouldn't look through the drawers in your parents' bathroom.
-Unless you are seeking Viagra. /Vagisil
You should spend time outside, even if your yard is a gravel parking lot and some guy is waxing his car with the base booming so hard that pinecones fall out of the tree across the street.
-If a base coat of wax booms that hard, fucking patent it. It'll come in handy eventually.
Lots of people will tell you how to be.
-Massive Bee Deaths
Coworkers come and go and they probably won't call when they're gone.
-Because after they came, they decided you weren't worth a second fuck.
You won't turn into a twinkie if you eat too many, but you will get fat.
-A creamy adipose filling.
Artists aren't anything.
-Neither are writers.
Submitted by czwij (user info) at 2007-06-12 05:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-12 00:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
But no... you'll just keep goose-stepping your way along, head held high in self-righteousness, like all the Hitler Youth
--------
hey dude, no need to insult the organisation.
after all, even the pope was a member so it MUST be wholesome
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-06-12 05:20:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lol
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-06-12 04:53:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-06-12 06:40:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Could have been longer...
And funnier
Submitted by needsnothing (user info) at 2007-06-12 04:39:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by JoeyG (user info) at 2007-06-12 04:22:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
L'Oreal user below.
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-12 03:52:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Because Im worth it
Submitted by ChaosJester (user info) at 2007-06-12 03:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Huh...
Well, okay.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2007-06-12 03:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.explosm.net/comics/466/
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-12 01:33:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Artists kick ass.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-12 01:06:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The cuteness of being twenty-something and homely only goes so far.
______________________
That's all right there, lil' man.
Someday, when you're a BIG BOY and your prick can get erect and the pimples go away, you'll discover "Women."
Oh at first, like all pre-pubescents, you'll just want tug away at you flaccid toy to thoughts of "Dream Girls" like porn stats and celebrities. But eventually you'll come to understand that BIG BOYS grow out of those fantasies. You wanna be a BIG BOY, don't you???
Or maybe you're just a cock-sucking faggot who likes cram things in his ass like pappy used to do...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2007-06-12 00:58:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Artists aren't anything.
_________________________
Indo, you really are a shallow, materialistic cunt.
I don't care if you are some 'super-alter,' give it a break. Everyone just rolls their eyes at you anymore.
I can't wait for your parents to suffer brutally from cancer or some other fun thing; maybe then you'll gain a soul.
But no... you'll just keep goose-stepping your way along, head held high in self-righteousness, like all the Hitler Youth.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2007-06-11 23:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-11 22:46:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The sad thing is, I don't think I'm growing out of videogames anytime soon.
The happy thing is my girlfriend plays NHL and FIFA with me.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-11 22:12:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I know some of these things.
Submitted by MidnightToSix (user info) at 2007-06-11 21:56:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I knew most of these things when I was six, and the rest of them are actually false.
And music has "bass", not "base". Like the fish. Bass like bass.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-06-11 21:46:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-11 19:22:19 CDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you are 23 you don't know shit and you won't for another 10 years or so.
---
1. Read the title.
---
That was my reaction. In my head, "Doesn't the title imply that this is all bullshit that a particular youth thinks they know."
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-11 20:22:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you are 23 you don't know shit and you won't for another 10 years or so.
---
1. Read the title.
2. There is no #2
Submitted by simple_catalyst (user info) at 2007-06-11 20:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-11 18:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was like Shlongy with a few drinks in him. Short, but brutally honest.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2007-06-11 18:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dogs and cats don't actually love you; They just like food.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-06-11 18:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
how insightful
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:55:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/109158
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"Artists aren't anything."
Fuck you.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wtf???
v
v
v
v
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://quietorpapaspank.ytmnd.com/
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:32:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it would be cool if someone from their 30s, 40s, etc would do a rebuttal/continuation of this.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:24:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
if you are 23 you don't know shit and you won't for another 10 years or so.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:16:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAHAHAH@FP
FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE SEES THE LIGHT
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:14:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was like Shlongy with a few drinks in him. Short, but brutally honest.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:13:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I dunno. Ghola's little "cutisms" used to entertin.
Now, it's just like watching a kid with ADD tell me what he had for lunch.
Submitted by no1hasdis (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-11 17:03:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your fanny will look progressively worse every year after you turn 23.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:58:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Flapjacksupreme is a candy-ass closet gay man who wipes up after narcoleptic senior citizens for a living.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:53:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Raebuf is just mad because he is overweight to the point of obesity and won't admit it.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:53:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The only thing I remember about being 23 is my eyes. My eyes are always the same in my memories.
TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:44:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Then when you get into your 30's, you realize that a lot of what you thought was important isn't and vice versa.
Also, Zen like epiphanies start happening a lot.
Good show!
Submitted by EmoJean (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I buy precut fruit, you know like they put on those fruit trays, its a ton easier and I get it down before it rots.
of course I eat huge amounts of fruit and the sodium in ramen is really really high but you're young and I ate ramen like it was a delicacy when I was younger and didn't have diabetes.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:43:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
home·ly /ˈhoʊmli/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hohm-lee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
-adjective, -li·er, -li·est.
1. lacking in physical attractiveness; not beautiful; unattractive: a homely child.
2. not having elegance, refinement, or cultivation.
3. proper or suited to the home or to ordinary domestic life; plain; unpretentious: homely food.
4. commonly seen or known.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:42:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Artists aren't anything.
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:42:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:41:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did you just call me your homie?
Submitted by raebuf (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
The cuteness of being twenty-something and homely only goes so far.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:40:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Could have been longer...
And funnier
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-11 16:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why is fruit so expensive?