Is It Not Enough That You Beat The Shit Out Of Me? (694 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.09 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by (View user info) at 2007-06-12 10:13:04 EDT
Danny punched me in the mouth cracking loose a tooth that was solid, white, and my pride and joy before he knocked it out. I would brush that tooth more than any other tooth because it was such a shiny white that it looked out of place mixed in with the other yellow and grayish teeth. This wasn't the first time Danny punched me, but this was the first time that I decided to punch back.
"Asymptotes," I yelled "asymptotes, asymptotes,..." over and over again.
I realized later why I yelled that. It was in my algebra class and I remembered that asymptotes get real close to a line of axis but never quite touch. Dr. Bennet, my psychologist told me that I yelled that because I wanted to beat Danny up but not to kill him. It made sense I guess.
I can remember the first time Danny punched me and it didn't really phase me so much as it shocked mom, who was sitting in the trailer minding her own business washing the dishes. Danny and I were playing catch outside with a football and I threw it. It knocked his beer out of his hands and wound up hitting him in the mouth, something completely innocuous, but of course it was my fault. How could I be so stupid?
"How could you be so stupid?" Danny asked as he was shaking me. Spittle was flying from his tightly pursed lips and that's when he raised his fist back and blackened my eye.
Mom flew out of the trailer with a half lit cigarette viced into her mouth swinging a still soapy frying pan at Danny. She hit him once. He apologized then, just like he does every time he hits me, except for this last time. Yup. This last time I didn't want to hear any apologies. Nothing could make up for my tooth.
I don't know how this one tooth became so shiny. It's not like it was a modern miracle of medicine; you know, like one of those whitening strips the dentist has or anything. Sure, I brushed it a little more than the other teeth. My gums were always bleeding around that tooth because I would brush the skin right out of my mouth. The skin would get caught in the bristles.
It's amazing how hard mouth skin can get in your tooth brush. Each new time that I would brush, the bristles would be stiffer and more rigid, only because there was more skin and toothpaste in them. That tooth was my pride and joy.
Mom was mad that I beat Danny up, but I guess he had it coming. You know what's funny? I don't remember a single thing else from my algebra class and come to think of it, I'm not ever quite sure that I knew what asymptotes were anyhow. My tooth. Now that's what really pissed me off. I even told Dr. Bennet.
User Reviews
Submitted by Deidra (user info) at 2007-06-12 18:44:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I see definate potential here.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:44:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This wasn't totally awful. A major step up for you. The reviews are a little off center, but I can't quite place why yet.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I find it really funny that you do the things that you accuse me of doing - all you ever had to do was to ask nicely, but you decided to be rude about it.
---
Awww... poor widdle jon jon is having a pout.
How cute.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I think TheUniter is fantastic. Refreshing, even.
Between her and Zebra they easily represent the best compass for quality around this site.
Personally I thought this was good - I'd just slap a +2 on it an be on my way normally, but you seem to care about ratings of late so I can't in all honesty say it 'kicked ass' - but considering who you are and the usual bullshit you spew around here - this was a really fine kick at the can.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-12 15:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I find it really funny that you do the things that you accuse me of doing - all you ever had to do was to ask nicely, but you decided to be rude about it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-12 14:52:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love "Zingers".
Especially, the chocolate ones with the vanilla creme filling.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2007-06-12 14:34:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-12 08:47:56 PDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha, pretty funny. http://ubersite.com/cgi-bin/moreinfo.cgi?uber=theuniter You've rated me, between this account and my other, a lot of times. I'm in the top 4. And you're sure that you aren't an alter?
------
TheUniter is either Apollo, or ETS/FA...I can't quite tell which.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-12 12:01:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Listen to Shlongy.
Everyone should take advice from a middle aged man whose daily mood rises and falls according to the number of third grade internet 'zingers' aimed at those half his age.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:48:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Does it really make a difference what a douchemonger like The Uniter thinks about anything?
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:47:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha, pretty funny. http://ubersite.com/cgi-bin/moreinfo.cgi?uber=theuniter You've rated me, between this account and my other, a lot of times. I'm in the top 4. And you're sure that you aren't an alter?
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope that helped.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It was better than worth reading but it didn't quite make me smile.
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would like for this toolbag to say why he thought this was deserving of a .5 instead of just dropping by. I don't really care but for fucks sake, if you are going to be so stringent, say why, instead of being a coward.
That is all.... -2 above.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
.
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-06-12 11:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:50:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh, so this is 'crap', and the other is 'stuff', huh? i'd rather write stuff than crap, tootsie pop. seriously, i agree with you, but I'm waiting until bart unbans my sicosemen account before I do any other 'writing'
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
should write more of this crap and less of the other stuff.
Submitted by gascs (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:37:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
engaging
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2007-06-12 10:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a winner, I'm a sinner, do you want my autograph?