I can't wait to find out how many people hate Texas (331 hits)
Category: SportsRating: -0.22 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by briokid666.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2007-06-13 20:57:24 EDT
My friend Nicky posted a "rules for entering Texas" thing on Myspace and it was great, I reposted it and all, but I thought there was too much about hunting and God and Country, so here's my own list-
1. If you go into a truckstop while driving through Texas and you see a tape rack with "Legends of Country music," or "Best of Hank," don't buy it-you're in texas, turn on the radio, retard.
2. also, make sure you say both "hello" and "Good bye" to the cashier-a "How's your day goin'?" wouldn't hurt either. and flash a smile.
3. The girls in Texas are just as hot as those fake-tan blondes in california, but in Texas they have a hot accent and call you "hon"
4. Don't go into a bar and order a sam adams. make it a shiner, you won't be disappointed, trust me.
5. Never order a burger off a mexican food menu.
6.you have in and out burger, and whitecastle, we have whataburger. we win. don't fight it, we win...
7. if you are going into the store to get drinks, and you ask me what I want, and I say "coke," make sure you ask me what kind, I might mean dr. pepper.
8. I was telling a friend of mine from pennsylvania how hot it gets, and he had the nerve to say, "Yeah, but it's a dry heat."
I spent 22 summers in houston, in 1 million percent humidity and 5000 degree heat. don't tell me that the below-sea-level bayou city is dry.
9. no, we don't all ride horses, but most of us have at some point, so be nice to the ones you see. if you see a dude poking along the side of the interstate on a horse, don't honk, he's hanging out with his friend.
10. fuck the police, you are supposed to go 90 mph or above on I-10.
11. we have mountains, hill country, plains, swamps, beaches, forests, cities, and even a canyon or two. we don't care about your tourist trap of a state.
12. Texas is not a hick state. Texas is so huge that some towns have never seen a black dude, it's not their fault. Texas is home to NASA, the south by southwest festival, and the most liberal street anywhere, westhiemer. orange county california, on the other hand, contains the highest concentration of nazi skinheads outside of Germany. blue state my ass.
13. yes, we all own guns. back the fuck up.
14. whatever is on hip-hop radio now, houstonians were jamming in 1994.
15. The astrodome is the greatest stadium of all time. the house that ruth built looks like all the rest.
16. Despite sweltering heat, shitty cops, and an abundance of flatland spots and bunk venues, Texas has a long and rich history in skateboarding and punk rock.
17. The Toadies kicked ass, and they didn't get near enough recognition.
18. I would like to formally apologize for Blue October.
19. The shape of Texas is the most recognizable of any state. so is the flag, and so is the state flower, the bluebonnet. more people know about the alamo than about their own state's history.
20. I have been to Germany, Ireland, Kuwait, Iraq, Budapest, Mexico, and Turkey. Everyone knows I am American. When I tell them I am Texan, they sprout a huge grin, their eyes light up, and they make guns with their hands and say "BANG!! Cowboy?"
I say "Yes, I'm a cowboy."
Be proud, you're from the biggest, most geographically and culturally diverse state in the union. go see an astros game, go swim in the Guadalupe, or have some Fajitas at Mama Ninfas.
Be a goddamn Texan
User Reviews
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2007-06-25 15:44:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
all my ex's live in texas
Submitted by ajanssen (user info) at 2007-06-25 15:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I concur. Dallas is the best city in the South
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-06-14 05:53:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I prefer Esso.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-14 05:33:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100208
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-13 22:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to call it coke too, but I've lived up north so long now I call it "Pop," like everyone else.
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It's SODA god damnit!
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we call it 'fizzy drink' ...... I realise how stupid that sounds.
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:59:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
c'mon, 0 isn't a negative number...
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Michigan is the only state with "Up north" as a recognized area of distinction.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:45:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Michigan.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:45:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to call it coke too, but I've lived up north so long now I call it "Pop," like everyone else.
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It's SODA god damnit!
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Not in Michian it ain't. And not in Texas.
Submitted by Lambchop (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I used to call it coke too, but I've lived up north so long now I call it "Pop," like everyone else.
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It's SODA god damnit!
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
dammit, I pride myself on having all negative ratings...
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:13:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
6.you have in and out burger, and whitecastle, we have whataburger. we win. don't fight it, we win...
7. if you are going into the store to get drinks, and you ask me what I want, and I say "coke," make sure you ask me what kind, I might mean dr. pepper.
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I love Whataburger and every time I go home I make my mother stop on the way to her house to get one for me.
I used to call it coke too, but I've lived up north so long now I call it "Pop," like everyone else.
Texas IS full of some ignorant, backwoods, rednecky motherfuckers, and I can't begin to tell you how many fights I got into when I was younger because I had long hair and guys always called me "fag."
This post, however, is not +1 or 2 worthy. Sorry.
Submitted by earth_collapse (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:01:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' A.