duhhh, 10 things (634 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: -0.08 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by briokid666.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2007-06-13 21:12:52 EDT
A few years ago, I was a much angrier young man than I am now. Perspective and life's lessons have lengthened my emotional fuse by miles. This is partially regrettable, since the pissed-off degenerate I used to be was quite a productive writer. I've been getting a lot of hate for my "10 Things" posts, so I figured I could harness the old me for a few minutes and write a list of people (and groups of people) whose teeth I'd like to kick in. Enjoy, fuckwads.
1. Scott Stapp-The lead singer of Creed. I actually sat and watched this dude's biography on VH1 a while back. Don't ask me why, I guess it's just a morbid fascination with things that suck. Anyway, he whined for an hour about how trying his life had been, what with the weed and the beer and whatnot. Don't make me laugh, asshole, I have friends who have smoked crack and shot heroin. I myself went on a bender after high school that could've killed a lesser man. You don't see me fronting a shitty Jesus-freak Pearl Jam ripoff and trying to pass it off as metal. I don't have a problem with Jesus, but the shitty bands that write albums in his name are embarassing. Take notes, P.O.D. Back to Mr. Stapp, after his shithouse band caves, he turns into a fuckin' lush and releases a solo album that made Creed look like fucking Sabbath. What a waste of oxygen.
2. Homophobes-Look, douchebag, the only reason that gays don't have the right to marriage in every state is that not enough of them give a shit about your archaic values system. Everybody likes to complain about how their ethnicity has been downtrodden in America, from the Irish to the Jewish to the Mexican to the black, but they all fail to realize that the most persecuted minority group in American history is still our homosexual population. They still don't have the constitutional right to pursuing happiness, and they still get harassed everywhere they go. The only reason you call the effimenate kid in gym class a faggot is because you are terrified that you may one day be attracted to him. Get over it.
3. Non-Smokers-More accurately, non-smokers who are trying to affect the law to reflect their own sensibilities. I know you don't smoke, and I'll refrain from smoking in your home, car, or place of business if I have to, but fuck off if you want to keep me from smoking in a Goddamn BAR! That's where we go, the smokers, to enjoy our slow suicide in peace. Take smoking out of the bars, and it pushes the drunks into the streets. I'm gonna smoke no matter where I have to go to do it, and it's fuckin' SICK of you to take advantage of that. If I see one more fake cough and scowl in my direction as a hint to put out my fire, I'll put it out in your fuckin' eye.
4. Cops-I don't care, I will always despise the police. Never gonna change. As long as I have a skateboard and they have badges, they will be the enemy. Fuck cops.
5. Ashton Kutcher-You are an idiot. You are not an actor, and you have no personality. You have attained your wealth, popularity, and female companionship based solely on your looks, and I hope that someday you will understand how truly hollow your existance is. You don't skate, and you probably listen to shitty emo, so keep your punk ass out of Zoo York ads. Die, you pretty sonofabitch. Just stop where you are and choke and die.
6. The Swoopy Emo Haircut-I realize that this is not a person or group thereof, but if I have to be exposed to one more band with a five word name and the same number of identical haircuts, I will personally seek out your band and suffocate you.
7. People Who Hate A Band Because They Are Popular-Look, I understand that you are so underground that your records are covered in dirt, and I know that most of what is considered popular music these days is garbage, but that doesn't mean that you can't like something just because a few thousand other people know the words. You're missing out on some good shit. The Foo Fighters and Chili Peppers are just plain flat honestly great bands. If you used to like a certain band, and you don't anymore because they blew up, you are what the sports-loving community refers to as a "fair-weather fan," and you deserve to be raped to death.
8. War Zealots-Go to Iraq yourself, if you think you know what the fuck you're talking about.
9. Anti-War Zealots-War is gonna happen, you are a human too, don't think you're any better than the rest of us. There is no way for any human to exist in total harmony with the world, so stop trying to solve a problem by voicing your opinion in a bar. While THIS war may be ill-advised, war itself cannot be faulted since it is an inevitable consequence of humanity. Don't argue with me, either-I am an entropist, and we are all hopeless scumbags.
10. Myself-Why the fuck did I join the army? I could be shacking up with a rando and drinking cheap whiskey, instead of hunting on Amazon.com and drinking cheap vodka. Snap.
User Reviews
Submitted by Void_Where_Prohibited (user info) at 2007-06-15 16:19:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SgtHartman (user info) at 2007-06-14 19:21:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
meh
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:38:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this was better than alot of posts I've seen..
Submitted by God_Is_My_Mate (user info) at 2007-06-14 17:16:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
twat
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2007-06-14 11:23:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this was okay
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-14 10:58:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck you, cop. -2 for attracting cops.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-14 10:44:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So, you're old enough to suck dick?
CONGRATULATIONS, HOWIE!
Submitted by DirtyHarry (user info) at 2007-06-14 10:18:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
whining sucks
Submitted by Flapjacksupreme (user info) at 2007-06-14 07:57:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Leave this website.
Submitted by Progr3ss (user info) at 2007-06-14 07:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-14 05:14:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/100208
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2007-06-14 05:05:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
4. Cops-I don't care, I will always despise the police. Never gonna change. As long as I have a skateboard and they have badges, they will be the enemy. Fuck cops.
I'm a cop. And I skate.
You are just a brainwashed little fuck that thinks he's tough.
Question, though; who will you call when you get your smart mouth pounded into the dirt?
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2007-06-14 03:30:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"I have a skateboard"
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-13 23:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm taken but flattered. -2 for me.
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2007-06-13 23:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wanna get married and smoke cigarettes together?
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2007-06-13 22:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Terrible AND unoriginal.
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:57:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
seriously, this one dude said he read all my shit and it's manure. -2. Seriously.
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're too young to have a list of TEN of anything.
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At least, without the words "poopy diaper" in the list someplace.
Submitted by MaesterMeat (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sounds like some shit Neg would write. I'm with ya on this.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:45:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I mean "Rose art" crayons. "Crayola" is the cadillac of crayons.
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:38:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
As long as they're authentic Crayola brand crayons, I'm cool. Fuck this post.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:34:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
For having a name which suggests you eat crayons for breakfast, this wasn't totally awful.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:25:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ONE POST A DAY
Submitted by i_can_get_you_a_toe (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3. Non-Smokers-More accurately, non-smokers who are trying to affect the law to reflect their own sensibilities. I know you don't smoke, and I'll refrain from smoking in your home, car, or place of business if I have to, but fuck off if you want to keep me from smoking in a Goddamn BAR! That's where we go, the smokers, to enjoy our slow suicide in peace. Take smoking out of the bars, and it pushes the drunks into the streets. I'm gonna smoke no matter where I have to go to do it, and it's fuckin' SICK of you to take advantage of that. If I see one more fake cough and scowl in my direction as a hint to put out my fire, I'll put it out in your fuckin' eye
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HEAR HEAR!!
Submitted by billiam5billion (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:22:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you're right, I'm WAY too young. This one time when I was living under a bridge a crackhead tried to steal my kicks in my sleep and I woke up and tried to set him on fire, but yeah, I'm too young. go back to hitting on other 43 year old internet dweebs who you think are 12 year old lesbians. It suits you.
Submitted by Director (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
this sucks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2007-06-13 21:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You're too young to have a list of TEN of anything.